13-year-old quarterback commits to USC

Trust me, I wish this was a piece from The Onion but sadly, its not.

Thursday evening Kiffin received a verbal commitment from 13-year old wunderkind quarterback David Sills of Bear, Del.

Too young?

Not according to his personal coach Steve Clarkson, who has mentored some of the game’s best quarterbacks including current USC starter Matt Barkley.

“His skill set is off the chart,” Clarkson said. “I’ve never seen anyone at his age do what he’s been able to do.”

Allow me a moment to digest some of this information…

At 13 you are in the 8th grade right? Well, let me tell you a quick story. I was a pretty good athlete when I was young, even started on the 7th grade basketball team, played football, ran track….Did the things a normal kid in middle school does.

And then right around the age of 14, I saw my first pair of real boobies. No, not the ones in that porn I lifted from my friends dad….real, live boobies.

Let’s just say my focus turned elsewhere after that. In what started as a promising athletic career quickly transformed into horny, sex-driven teenager.

Fast forward a decade or so later and I’m an overweight, out of shape blogger.

So my advice to quarterback extraordinaire David Sills, unless you want to end up like me, keep the boobies at bay. They’re more powerful thank you think.

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