20 statements from bar skanks that could get Ben Roethlisberger in a lot more trouble

Shawn Norris

bigben 20 statements from bar skanks that could get Ben Roethlisberger in a lot more trouble

To say that Ben Roethlisberger has had some sexual indiscretions to this point would be an understatement. And while it remains to be seen exactly who or what party may be at fault in the (sexual misconduct) situations, the Steelers quarterback obviously needs a little schooling in the art of turning down the advances of intoxicated young women.

So Ben, if you hear any of the following statements– it’s probably best that you put down your beverage and walk away from the woman talking to you. Otherwise…well, I don’t have to tell you why. You pay a lawyer good money to explain what happens next.

“I’ve always wanted to shower with 40 other men. What’s that like?”

“OMG! You have a motorcycle!”

“So if you’re Big Ben, where do you put your big hand when it’s 3 AM?”

“Roethlisberger…is that French?”

“I bet those hands get tired of carrying around sweaty balls all day…I may be able to help.”

“Is everything you have made from steel beams?”

“Are your eyes glazed over because you’re concussed, or are you just happy to see me?”

“Do you have an extra helmet for your Hog?”

“That’s a beautiful goatee, professor.”

“Poor baby. I had a puppy that got hit by a car once. I had to take him home and nurse him back to health.”

“Big Ben, huh? I need a new clock in my dorm room. Interested in the position?”

“If it wasn’t for all the crazy sex, I’d have moved out of Pittsburgh a long time ago…”

“Oh Good! I thought maybe you played for the Pirates…”

“Who cares. Everyone knows that all the good quarterbacks come out of Miami of Ohio; not that other Miami.”

“Tell me the truth: Are these boobs bigger than Andre Smith’s boobs?”

“You must play in Pittsburgh because you’re steeling my heart.”

“I heard London is home of the Sexual Olympics in 2010. But being Big Ben, you probably already knew that.”

“My daddy is a Patriot fan. I hate my daddy…”

“If you’ve got the time, I’ve got my own set of knee pads in my trunk.”

“So why do they call you ‘Big Ben?’”

If you’re still reading this…you haven’t learned anything from this exercise Mr. Roethlisberger. Put on your thinking helmet and get the hell out while you still can.

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