8 sports stars who deserve their own reality show

Chances are the reality show that you watch royally sucks. To change all that, here are eight prominent sports figures that deserve their own shows, at least for our sakes.

8 JaMarcus Russell
The pilot is called “Get Yer Purple Drank On”. Russell takes viewers inside his home and secret ‘sip-sip’ lab to show viewers how to create his famous version of the “Purple Drank”. Then, a series of phone calls makes Russell come unhinged. First, a startling phone call from his accountant: “No you don’t have millions anymore and I told you not to call me a bee-yotch.” Then, his agent breaks some really bad news: Russell will not be in the upcoming Madden ’11 video game.

7 Bob Huggins
Huggins recently fell down in his hotel room and broke a bunch of ribs. He reportedly “tripped on something on the floor”. Uh huh. And we can safely assume that he wasn’t drinking, right? Whatever. We know that a Huggins-based reality show would rock. In episode one, it’s pure hilarity as Huggins tries to successfully place an order at the Taco Bell drive-thru at 2:35 am — as he’s having yet another heart attack.

6 Carlos Zambrano
The first episode starts out with Big Z and his entourage dining out. It’s one laugh after another until the waiter brings Zambrano lobster instead of steak. Big Z flips his lid, the table and starts hurling food. It’s the first time someone has been hospitalized after being hit with a 90-MPH lobster. Oh who are we kidding — Zambrano can’t hit 90 on the gun anymore.

5 Ben Roethlisberger
The Super Bowl QB who likes to buy shots for strangers and shake his groove thing to the rockin’ sounds of Miley Cyrus totally needs his own show. This is especially true when you consider Big Ben will be suspended for the start of the NFL season — idle hands being the devil’s playground and the like. In the first episode, Ben tries to set the record for most times urinating in public in just one evening.

4 Ron Artest
We heard in April that Artest is supposed to have his own reality show in the works. To quote the great Judge Smails, “Well…we’re waiting!” It will be just like Dave Chappelle’s show except the bits won’t be scripted and at the end of the show Artest will be the musical guest, dropping mediocre rhymes over generic beats for you listening and viewing pleasure.

3 Chael Sonnen
Who? Chael Sonnen just fought Anderson Silva for the UFC middleweight championship (and almost won). He has amused and befuddled MMA fans with his unusual brand of bravado and trash talk. And it doesn’t stop with his opponents. He recently took it to an MMA scribe when he thought the interview questions sucked. He decided to post the entire interview verbatim on the web for all to see. Good times! He also works as a real estate agent and was running on the Republican ticket for State Representative in Oregon until he dropped out in June. He could sit there and rant for a half-hour and it would be among TV’s most interesting shows.

2 Joakim Noah
Even when Noah isn’t out shopping for bongs or bowties, he’s a pretty bright dude that is engaging and entertaining. He also isn’t afraid to stand up to the big boys in the NBA. Not many players call LeBron a bitch, right? Factor in the singing, the tennis star father, the former Swedish model mother, a playoff-caliber basketball team and one of the best cities in the world and you can see why it would be fun to watch a reality show based around the Bulls’ big man.

1 Al Davis
It might end up being morbid, creepy and gross, but football fans need to know what exactly is happening with the pathetic Oakland Raiders. Norv Turner. Lane Kiffin. JaMarcus Russell. Tom “Punchy” Cable. Darrius Heyward-Bey. Darren McFadden. Robert Gallery. A robust 29-83 record over the last seven seasons. It’s one big fail over there. Al Davis is possibly senile, but that would just add to the fun. In episode one, Davis tries to convince his staff that they should sign Chris Henry to a contract.

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