Sports by the numbers: 9/30/10

Posted by A. Isaac on September 30th, 2010 at 9:20 am

Guyism’s daily look at what’s hot in the world of sports.

When Darryl Strawberry sees someone in distress, he runs to their aid. The former Mets’ star paid a 25 dollar cab fare for a woman who had left her wallet at home according to the NY Post. Now if only someone had offered a helping hand to Strawberry all those years.

Despite her recent success on the course, Michelle Wie headed back to Stanford for the fall semester. The senior even has a full class load at 20 credits. Her next scheduled stop to play golf, almost a month away in Malaysia. So fear not Cardinals faithful, not all your golf alums are millionaire douchebags who make sex tapes with porn stars.

Rarely will I quote the venerable Will Smith out of context but I believe his “Girls aint nothing but trouble” song seems apropos here. Jagaurs wide receiver Kassim Osgood was forced to jump out a second-floor window when a gun wielding jealous ex-boyfriend showed up at his girlfriend’s place. Mackenzie Rae Putnal, a 19-year old former Jaguars cheerleaders exchanged gunfire with the man before he fled. He was later arrested at his home.

100,000

David Stern certainly wields a big stick these days. Wizards owner Ted Leonsis told a group of business leaders that the NBA would soon have a “hard salary cap similar to the NHL’s model”. That phrase irked Stern enough to levy a 100k fine on the owner. Hey Dave, at least offer the man a massage or an HJ before you bend him over like that.

400

Stop me if you’ve heard this one before. A Tour de France champ tested positive for a banned substance. This time it was current champion Alberto Contador who tested positive for clenbuterol. Although the urine sample revealed “400 time[s] less than what the antidoping laboratories accredited by WADA must be able to detect”, it is still considered a positive test. By the way, Contador’s reason for having clenbuterol in his system? Contaminated meat. Yea, we’re being serious.

How bad is Saints kicker Garret Hartley? Well, the team just waived a WR to sign 46-year old former kicker John Carney. If you recall, Hartley missed a chip shot field goal in overtime on Sunday that cost the Saints a victory. This furthers the notion that you can be old and out of shape and somehow still be a kicker in the NFL.

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A. Isaac A. Isaac is the Senior Editor of Guyism.com. You may have seen him before on The World of Isaac or at a local beach showing off his man boobs. His claims to fame include eating 5 cheeseburgers in one minute, having a threesome with two Victoria Secret models, and being a world-class table tennis player. Unfortunately, the validity of some of those claims is under dispute.