Battle Creek Revolution blames poor season on players getting drunk and high

A. Isaac Senior Editor

Battle Creek, Michigan is home to the Kellogg’s company, famous for wacky cereals like Froot Loops, Apple Jacks and Honey Smacks. It’s also home to a junior A hockey team called the Revolution, famous for players who get drunk and high all the time according to one Twitter account.

The team’s official Twitter account (or what we thought was their account) sent this out earlier today.

The team was completely awful this season finishing 7-38-1-2 (17 points). Amazingly, they weren’t even the worst team in the league. That accomplishment goes to the Breezy Point North Stars who finished 4-43.

But back to the Revolution and their partying ways. The tweet is still up eight hours later and it doesn’t look like it’s coming down anytime soon. I’ve put in numerous inquiries to the organization and have yet to receive an answer (see their response below).

Perhaps everyone’s drinking their sorrows away. Or maybe they broke into the Kellogg’s plant to snack on some Froot Loops. Who knows.

*UPDATE*

I spoke with the governor of the team, a man named Nick. He assured me the the B.C. Revolution Twitter account referenced above is NOT associated with the team. It does not represent the players, the organization or any of its members. The account has since been deleted.

So much ado about nothing. Carry on with your day everyone….safely and soberly of course.

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