Beejoli Shah, of Quentin Tarantino toe sucking fame, aspired to be a sports anchor

By now, you’ve seen or heard the story going around about Quentin Tarantino sucking a woman’s toes and masturbating. If you haven’t, our friends at BroBible have the entire email of Beejoli Shah’s brush with fame. Here’s a brief summary for those that don’t live in the dark abyss of the internet.

After a lengthy film discussion, Quentin suggests we head to bed, which is the point where I really start panicking. I have stalled for a good long time but the makeouts were really losing their appeal because you can only be sweated on so much, and we were getting closer to the moment of truth on whether I’d have to put out or not. The makeout continues for a while longer, and I’m really getting nervous about where the night may lead, kicking myself over not pretending to be more drunk and “passing out”, and wishing he’d turn the damn lights off so that he won’t notice that I’m wearing Hanes Her Way underwear the size of Canada that I bought at CVS that morning because my life is really just that sad and pathetic. We make out some more, there’s a little below the belt action that I try to avoid, as QT has the most unattractive penis I have ever seen (short. fat. nub-like. The chode of all chodes. Boys, those junior high pamphlets are lying when they say that all shapes and sizes are normal. Lying.) Just as I’m about to hyperventilate over the fact that he may try to put that horrific bodily implement anywhere near my Britney, he leans over and goes “Hey…”

I know this “Hey.” This is the “Hey, should I get a condom?” hey that accompanies 20 minutes of ungratifying sex. As I’m trying to rapidly think of ways I can agent myself out of this deal, I hear what is without a doubt, the strangest question in the history of my life. Quentin Tarantino asks, “Can I suck on your toes while I jerk off?“

Naturally, Shah has gone into hiding since her name was revealed. She made her Twitter account private and her Tumblr is currently on the fritz. However, there are some videos out there she was unable to get her hands on. Here’s the “Toe Suckee” herself on a Cal sports broadcast.

Am I crazy in thinking that some network should give her a shot at sports broadcasting? Think about it. Give her a pedicure and some toenail polish and BAM, she gets a Rex Ryan exclusive.

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