Championship Game Predictions, Cheerleader Style

So Ive gone 6-2 so far in the playoffs and really, it wasnt that hard. I think I picked the favorite and/or home team in every one. I regret not picking the Giants even though they had a legitimate chance to win.

But that’s neither here nor there.

I’d love to talk about the matchups this weekend but frankly, its not all that exciting.

What truly is not exciting however, is the fact that the NFC Championship Game will not feature a single cheerleader.

That’s right. Not a single one, Dammit! There are seven teams in the NFC that dont have cheerleaders and we get stuck with 2 of the 7. What are the odds of that happening? um…let’s see 2 divided by 7 equals…oh, You know what, forget it. Im not good at math anyways. But the last time a NFC Championship Game didnt feature a single cheerleading squad.

2001!

As a young strapping lad in college, I think I shed a tear that dreadful Sunday.

The best the Packers can muster up as far as hot women are those three skanky broads that call themselves the Favre Girls or something.

Personally, Ill pass, Ive seen better. Too much cheese in Wisconsin to produce anything un-Heifer like.

The best the Giants have to offer is that chick Elizabeth Banks that was a Giants fan in the movie “Invincible”. Yea, I know Im reaching but the Giants wont answer my emails. All I asked from them is to send me a picture of their hottest and/or skankiest fan. They haven’t obliged. They still have two days so I wont hold it against them.

Given these two options, I think I have no other choice than to pick the Giants to upset the Packers

Giants 17
Packers 14

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The AFC Championship features the only team left with cheerleaders. You guessed it.

The New England Patriots. No wonder they’re so damn successful. That Robert Kraft, I tell ya, he’s a genius.

And although the Chargers dont have a cheerleading squad, they do have a dance team called the Charger Girls. And I think I speak for every man out there when I say,

God Bless Southern California!

This one is a nail biter. At first glance, the Chargers girls look more aesthetically pleasing. Yes, I have no idea what aesthitically means but saying one of them had better racks than the others just didnt seem PC enough.

Anyways, the Charger girls are hot but I still believe they deserve negative points for not having actual cheerleaders. I mean, why cant there be dancers and cheerleaders? Would they fight or something? Would they get into a KY Jelly Pit and wrestle each other and rub up on one another to see who was more dominant?

On second thought, I think I just had a brilliant idea. Where’s William Clay Ford’s number again? Gotta make those Lions games more exciting.

Cheerleaders 28
Dance Team 20

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