Confessions of a Steroid User
A. Isaac 
Baseball stars have now come forward and admitted their steroid or HGH use. Andy Pettite, Brian Roberts, and the venerable Fernando Vina among several others.
I applaud their courage and their honesty
And after reading their heartfelt apologies to the fans, I felt I also needed to come
clean about my steroid use.
This is my story.
It was the fall of 1987. At 7 years old, I was a basketball God, widely considered to be the Isiah Thomas of my city’s rec league. Earlier in that year however, I had chipped a bone in my arm playing tag. It set me back a few months and I was disappointed I wasnt making the recovery that I needed.
“My shots just arent dropping”, I remember telling Coach Dave. Coach just urged me to work harder in preparation for the season.
Thats when I met Nick. Nick was the towel-boy for our team. He wasn’t good enough at sports to participate so he just hung around the locker room at practices and games and stuff. Nick lived dangerously. In 2nd grade, it was rumored that he stole an extra nutty butter when the lunch lady wasn’t looking.
He was a bad dude.
Nick saw me struggling in practice and approached me afterwards in the locker room. The conversation has been etched in my brain for over 20 years.
“You need a pick me up man”
“Nah, I just need to work harder. Maybe hit the weight room or something”
“That’s not going to help. The team needs you for the opener”
“What else can I do”
“I have a connection through a guy in the fifth grade. He can get you the stuff but its going to cost you”
“How much, my allowance is only $10 bucks every two weeks”
“10 bucks will do it. Just dont say you got it from me”
A week later, I met Nick and his dealer behind the swing sets after school. The dealer concealed his face with a Spiderman ski mask.
“You got the money”, he asked.
“You got the stuff”, I answered.
The swap was made.
I walked home slowly, not knowing what to expect. When I got home, I ran to my room and shut the door.
I opened my backpack and pulled out the syringe. I tapped the tube like Nick told me to but I started shaking. I just couldnt do it.
All of a sudden, my sister busted in my room unannounced. I was caught red-handed. I tried to tell her that it was something the doctor gave me, but she wasnt having it. I promised her I hadnt used before and this was the first time. She told me she wouldnt tell but that I had to throw them away right now.
I walked to the bathroom and flushed the syringe down the toilet.
———–
Two weeks later, we had our first game. I was still struggling in practice but I was still better than anybody Coach Dave could throw out there.
We were playing the Hawks. A mean team from the east side of town. They had a center who stood at 5 feet tall who averaged 7 blocks the year before.
I was nervous before tip-off. I looked over at Nick and he just winked at me. I hadnt told him what happened with my sister.
The tip came to me and I raced down the court with an open lay-up and BAM!
I hit it off the front of the rim.
“What the hell”, I said. I had never missed such a wide open layup before.
I hustled to get back on defense but was burned on a nasty crossover by the Hawks point guard.
Two minutes later we were already down 6-0.
Coach Dave called timeout and screamed at me for turning the ball over and missing open shots. He said I looked lost out there.
Out of the timeout, I tried to drive by my guy but was stripped clean and the Hawks had a layup the other way.
All in all, it was a disastrous day for me.
0-10 from the field with 6 turnovers. We ended up losing 34-6. A beat down of epic proportions
I sat in the locker room with my head down after the game. Nobody came over and comforted me and I was left sitting there by myself. That’s when Nick walked in.
“Man, you didnt use em did you?”
“Nope, got scared”(I lied)
“The team needs you badly”
“I know”
“You know what you need to do right”, Nick implored.
“Yep”
“Well, lucky for you, I got some with me right now”
As I pulled down my scooby-doo underwear, I knew my life had changed forever.
—————————-
1 week later
I was full of energy the next game and it showed in my performance. Right off the tip, I went between 3 defenders and got an “and 1″. Stole the inbounds pass and hit a three with a guy draped all over me.
I was in the zone.
I finished the game with 19 pts, 8 rebounds, 6 assists, and 9 steals. Some people were calling it the greatest game in Parks n’ Rec history for a 7 year old.
The season went much the same way. I was the league MVP and took my team to the Finals where we won convincingly.
The season had been so hype that I almost forgot about that one day in the locker room. A day which will live in infamy.
I was never good after that season. In fact, I was a sub-par player at best. When I got to the 8th grade, I was cut from my school team and its been downhill since then.
I held the secret of my steroid use from everyone for the last 20 years.
But Im coming clean now.
I only used once. I swear. Just that one time to get over that broken arm. Yeah my numbers were inflated that year but I worked hard too. Ate spaghettios everyday for protein. Did countless chin ups on the monkeys bar at recess. Curled 5 pound dumbbells every morning before school.
But I was a user and I admit it now.
I have asked the city to strip me clean of my records. I have asked them to take away my League MVP.
I have asked them to take away my championship trophy.
Its a sad day but maybe I can move on with my life. A life marred by steroid use when I was 7 years old.
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