So I started to go to the gym again.

Ill now allow some time for you to laugh uncontrollably…..

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Ok, now that we got that out of the way, it had been Nov 2006 when I lifted last. From then until now, Ive turned into a tub of goo. In fact, the first time I hit up the gym, I had to warm up benching with 65 lbs. Nothing like a 250 lb man pushing around some pansy weight.

Anyways, I digress.

The gym, for many, is home to some of the funniest stuff you’ll see in awhile. However, it’s home to some disgusting locker-room antics as well.

In the last two weeks, these are just a few things Ive seen.

-A friend of mine, we’ll call him “Randy”, saw a rather voluptuous woman on an elliptical. While “Randy” was staring and giving her that smile he’s so famous for, he didn’t notice the calf machine in front of him. “Randy” tripped over the calf machine but luckily, the garbage was in front of him to break his fall. Needless to say, “Randy” knows how to make quite an impression on the ladies.

-There is an older man who is seemingly always there when I am. When I’m coming in, he is usually getting ready to leave. He makes me uncomfortable. Why you may ask? Because he whistles, and not just for a beat or two here or there. No, this ahole whistles the entire time he is showering and changing. I don’t even know what song he whistles to. I am extremely tempted to record(voice not video sickos) it to see if anybody can identify the tune.

-This is one of my biggest gym pet peeves. It is NEVER acceptable to have an ongoing conversation with a dude when he is butt naked. NEVER! It happens almost every time I am there. Why cant a simple “hello” do until you freakin throw on a pair of boxers. Seriously, ask him about the wife and kids when you put “Jimmy and the twins” away.

-I saw this lady on Saturday, we’ll call her “Betsy”. I hope never to see “Betsy” again in the outfit she wore. Betsy is pushing late 50s if not 60. She is by no means a GILF. And even if she was, Im not sure it is ever appropriate to wear a two piece spandex outfit. How the hell did her husband, “Ralph”, allow her to leave the house like that. Let me make this clear, Im by no means the second coming of Tyson Beckford. But Ill be damned if you see me in biker shorts strutting around the gym.

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Hole-in-One for Johnny!

On Saturday, Johnny Nguyen played in a foursome at Blackheath Golf Course. As he approached the par 3 6th hole, he thought he could hit a 7 iron stinger into the wind to keep it down. And then lo and behold, Johnny’s ball disappeared. His playing partners just assumed it went over the green but as they approached the hole, complete pandemonium took place.

A hole-in-one.

Congrats!

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Birthdays

Sorry Gilly for forgetting your bday…Happy Belated

9/21

Karim and Monica

9/23

Amy

9/24

Happy Birthday everyone!