Its a horse for God sakes!

Barbaro’s owners will return to Churchill Downs on Tuesday to honor the 2006 Kentucky Derby winner on the first anniversary of his death.

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I swear, you’d think Barbaro was some kind of God or something. He won one freakin race!

This isnt the first time Ive complained about that tub of Glue. Upon his death, I wrote a very thoughtful Eulogy in his honor

Barbaro’s Eulogy

Today is a sad day for us all as we say goodbye to our dear friend Barbaro. You came into our life so quickly with your win at the Kentucky Derby and yet, fell out so savagely with your broken leg at the Preakness. Barbaro, I say this with the utmost sincerity; I hate you!! You should have been plastered on construction paper in a 3rd grade Art class 9 months ago but instead you decided to hold on for dear life. Your strength and your courage inspires absolutely nobody. You want to know why? Because you’re a freakin horse. And not even a cool horse like Mr. Ed who can talk or those Clidesdales in the Budweiser commercials that can play football.

No, you’re a racehorse in a country where nobody even cares about horse-racing anymore. You took up time on Sportscenter, articles were written about you, people prayed, and all for what? Because you won a lousy race. Well, you know what Barbaro, screw you. You’re not even that good buddy. I actually watch that clip of you breaking your leg at the Preakness every day and laugh at how dumb you look limping around.

Id like to end this eulogy with a great saying from my chilhood….
“Im rubber, you’re glue…whatever I say bounces off of me and sticks to you”……I say that in the most literal way possible Barbaro

So long and may Elmer’s make several gallons of glue out of you!

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