Lenny Dykstra creepily exposed himself to women

Lenny Dykstra’s laundry list of run-ins with the law will now include this creepy charge of indecent exposure. The ruse was simple. Dykstra would put an employment ad on Craigslist for a female housekeeper or personal assistant. When the woman arrived, the gracious host would then ask for a massage and VOILA, penis right up in their face. No interview, no chit-chat, no glass of wine, nothing. You could call Dykstra a lot of things—a crook, a cheater, a druggie…but dammit, don’t you dare call him a procrastinator. “Nails” hammers home his point right away.

If convicted, Dykstra faces a 1,000 fine and six months in jail for each count. Chump change compared to the time he may face for his 25 felony and misdemeanor counts for grand theft auto, attempted grand theft auto, filing false financial statements and possessing a controlled substance.

That case stems from what Los Angeles County prosecutors say was a scheme by the former athlete, his accountant and another man to lease cars using phony business and credit information.

A search of Dykstra’s home during the investigation allegedly turned up cocaine, Ecstasy and a synthetic growth hormone.

He faces 12 years in state prison if convicted at trial.

An unrelated indictment handed down by a federal grand jury in May accuses Dykstra of stealing or destroying some $400,000 in property that was part of his bankruptcy case.

The former ballplayer faces up to 80 years in federal prison if convicted in that case, according to federal prosecutors.

It’s getting to the point where you could create a top 10 list of your favorite Dykstra mishaps. Speaking of, here’s my two favorites.

In December 2010, Dykstra was accused of hiring a female escort, then writing the escort a bad $1,000 check. Adult film star and escort Monica Foster claimed that he purchased her escort service on December 13, 2010 then wrote her a check that bounced. Monica Foster later posted a copy of the bounced check on her blog.

In January 2011, Dykstra was accused of sexual assault by his housekeeper. A female housekeeper alleged Dykstra would force her to give him oral sex on Saturdays. The woman told investigators she “needed the job and the money so she went along with the suspect’s requests rather than lose her job,” according to the filing, and “returned to work in the suspect’s home with knowledge that she obtained from the Internet of a claim of sexual assault by another woman.”

What a classy individual. I strive to be half the man Mr. Dykstra is.

Lenny Dykstra charged in L.A. with indecent exposure [Reuters]

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