Terrence Cody can barely run down the length of the field

Posted by Shawn Norris on July 28th, 2010 at 4:00 pm

Ravens DT Terrence Cody could not pass his “conditioning test” in training camp yesterday, which seems feasible until you realize that the test consisted of running 50 yards and then resting before running another 50 yards.

Is this really the level professional athletes have sunk to? Just when you think JaMarcus Russell has set the bar at its lowest point by being a lazy, overweight mess, word comes out that an NFL player can’t even run down the length of the field without succumbing to an oxygen tank and a double cheeseburger?

terrence cody Terrence Cody can barely run down the length of the field

Cody, a 350-pounder out of Alabama, twice failed the test Tuesday. The drill consists of running 25 yards, doubling back, resting for 70 seconds and repeating it twice.

That’s like running halfway to 2nd base in baseball, waiting a minute and then making your way to all the way to third base, where you someone of Cody’s stature would possibly collapse and have to be craned out for a different base runner. He couldn’t make it in baseball because if he hit a home run, he’d be unable to make it all the way around the bases.

Look, I’m all for my nose tackles to have to be weighed at truck stops, but not being able to run the length of a football field with a 70 second break in the middle is considered wildly out-of-shape for anyone that’s not Gilbert Grape‘s mom. Show some respect for the game, man. You get to play professional football, at least do enough conditioning to keep from becoming Thanksgiving Day parade fat. Maybe try a few of those NutriSystem meals instead of closing down Baskin Robbins or doubling down at KFC. They worked for Dan Marino — they call him “Skinny” now.

One day later, Ravens DT Cody launches NFL career [Yahoo! Sports]

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Shawn Norris Shawn Norris used to write things for National Lampoon and the now-defunct Blue Monkey Disco Party as "Douche Larue." Now he spends most of his time writing jokes, scripts, and trying to find a literary agent that will return his calls. Even though he wasn’t born yet, he often takes credit for faking the moon landing. Also, he’s allergic to tequila -- it makes him breakout in felonies.