Undoubtedly, you’ve had a chance to catch a World Cup game (if only for the ladies). And undoubtedly, you’ve wanted to reach your hand through the Tv and strangle every single vuvuzela blower out there. But the vuvuzela isn’t the only annoying fan prop out there. Here are a few more you’ll encounter at your next sporting event.
It’s not annoying when you see it on Tv. But when you’re parked behind a Foam Finger wagger, well then, your vision of the actual game is constantly blurred. Being in front of one isn’t a joy either as the finger constantly hits you from behind. And hey, let’s admit, no one wants to be fingered without their permission.
You don’t often see these at mainstream sporting events in America. But venture to a soccer game or any other open-aired event and you’re bound to run into them. And by running into them, I of course mean some 16-year-old kid blowing this directly next to your head and rupturing your ear drum.
Whether you’re a fan of the Indians or not, a man repeatedly banging on a drum for 9 straight innings can be quite cumbersome. His name is John Adams and he’s been doing it for over 37 years(only missed 34 games). From what we understand, he is not under the influence of any drugs. Strangely though, he does have Popeye-like forearms. Let’s just hope he only got that from drumming
A staple of many college football stadiums, the Cowbell actually serves a good purpose as a way to organize fan chants. But in the hands of a child, it is a weapon of mass destruction. The constant ringing of the bell makes you want to seek out members of the Blue Oyster Cult and club them over the head with it. A sporting event is definitely one of those times where we don’t need “More Cowbell”.
At one time, this may have been a useful distraction for opponents at a game. Not too long after though, it began to mentally scar every child in the stadium. This isn’t “Eyes Wide Shut” folks and I’m definitely not Tom Cruise involved in some sexual fantasy orgy (although I’m open to new things). Keep the masks limited to Halloween, masquerade balls, and role-playing in the bedroom. Oh yea, by the way, “Fidelio”.
Before the invention of the vuvuzela, this was undeniably the creme of the crop of agitating fan props. At first, it was something that was limited to fans behind the basket on free-throw attempts. Then some dumb marketer thought it would be a good idea to equip entire arenas with the name of some local advertiser. 20,000 fans banging on sticks for 3 hours? Count me out
The 2010 World Cup will probably be remembered for a lot of things. We’ve already had one of the worst goals ever given up by a keeper in international competition and more than a fair share of questionable red cards. But certainly, the constant and irritating noise the vuvuzela provides may prove to be the thing that people recall most from World Cup South Africa.
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