The Greatest Sports Liar Tournament

Click here for Round 2!

On the heels of Roger Clemens 60 minutes interview, the Guyism is taking a look back at the Greatest Liars in Sports. From Wilt Chamberlain’s claim of 20,000 women to Danny Almonte’s real age to perhaps the greatest liar of our time, Pete Rose. All would battle head to head until one is crowned with the “Pinnochio” award.

The Tourney will be broken into two brackets. The George W. Bush “Mission Accomplished” Bracket and the Bill Clinton “I did not have sexual relations” Bracket.

Mission Accomplished Bracket

(1) Pete Rose

Need I explain here? Denied vehemently since the inception of the Dowd Report of his betting on baseball which has kept him out of the Hall of Fame. Years later, in his autobiography “My Prison without Bars” he finally admits that he did in fact gamble on baseball.

vs.

(8) Olden Polynice

Impersonating a cop wouldnt normally get you on the list. Yeah, its a lie but its not that bad. But doing it twice in two months? Thats noteworthy.

(4) Roger Clemens

Yeah, there is a small chance that Clemens could be right. And by small I mean the size of his shrunken balls from injecting his way to several Cy Youngs in his 40s.

vs.

(5) Floyd Landis

First he claimed he drank, then he claimed he had naturally high testosterone, then it was a thyroid condition. Which is it Floyd?

(3) Nick Saban

In an angry tone to Miami reporters, Saban claimed “Im not going to be the Alabama coach”. Oh really Nick?

vs.

(6) Mike Vick

“I didnt visit the property, I dont fight dogs”. Wait, except for the “Bad News Kennels thing”, does that count?

(2) Rafael Palmeiro

Maybe wagging your finger at Congress wasnt such a good idea huh Raffy. Shoulda went the Sammy Sosa “I speak no english” route

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(7) Justin Gatlin

Another case of a B12 injection gone wrong. I wonder if Roger is going to credit Justin with that excuse. But that still wasnt his best lie though. The vengeful massage therapist takes the cake.

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I did not have sexual relations Bracket

(1) Wilt Chamberlain

A hell of a basketball player but he told the whopper of all lies. Its one thing to say you banged like 20-25 in college or something. Its another to say you banged 20,000. Wilt wrote that in 1991, which if you assume he started this great feat in 1951(15 years old), it roughly calculates to 1.4 women a day. Bravo Wilt!

vs.

(8) Jeff Kent

Kent’s not even that good of a liar. Breaking your wrist washing cars? Come on! At least say you were hunting and you attacked by Big Foot or something. Make it believable.

(4) Barry Bonds

An excerpt from “Game of Shadows”

Since joining the Giants, Bonds had gone from a size 42 to a size 52 jersey; from size 10 ½ to size 13 cleats; and from a size 7 1/8 to size 7 ¼ cap, even though he had taken to shaving his head.

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(5) George O’Leary

Lost his dream job at Notre Dame when he claimed he had received a Master’s Degree and lettered in football. How can you letter in football if you never even played a game?

(2) Larry Brown

Worthy of a one seed in most brackets, there is no lie this man can’t tell. From his days flirting with other college teams to the debacle with the Pistons, Larry the Liar is in a league of his own.

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(7) Rosie Ruiz

If seeds were based on creativity, Rosie would take the cake. She turned in a record time in the 1980 Boston Marathon but nobody recalled seeing her in the race. Maybe it was because she sprinted in from the crowd. But whats even better was that she qualified for the race by competing in the NY city marathon. A race she supposedly rode the subway in. Wait, didnt Geoffrey the Butler from Fresh Prince do the same thing?

(3) Marion Jones

Yeah she ended up coming clean but not after years of claiming she never used performance enhancing drugs. One of her famous quotes read

“Nobody has ever said anything about Marion Jones every using performance-enhancing drugs and they never will.”

vs.

(6) Danny Almonte

Perfect game in the Little League World Series? No problem. Just as long as you arent two years older than everybody else.

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