Top 10 things I demand in my sports podcast

Douglas Charles Managing Editor

by DMtShooter, Five Tool Tool.com

cast+your+pod Top 10 things I demand in my sports podcast10) Wankery. Do you have an unfortunate interest in cringe-tastic pop culture that is in no way related to your subject matter? Well, by all means, share it with the rest of us. Remember, you are the guy with the mic. That means we deserve whatever you care to dish out, and you’re just so gosh darned precious, we can’t say no!

9) Sports radio affectations and repetition. There’s no reason to cut content for length or commercial sponsorship, or to repeat the name and whore pitch of the guest. But do it anyway! It makes everything seem much more professional, and in no way annoying or crass. Besides, there’s no way I was listening the first eight times. Ninth’s the charm!

8) Timelessness. Will your podcast take a wild swing in subject matter halfway through, from the introduction of a guest who is of prime interest to some portion of the audience? Make sure not to tell us when the change happens. How else would we get to know more about you?

7) Live to tape. Podcasting is just like a battle rap out on Eight Mile Road. If you can’t spit out your spiel the first try, or have a coughing fit, leave it all in, dammit. Podcasts are all about keeping it real, and making sure that no hint of professionalism creeps in. Testify!

6) Commercial sponsorship. You probably weren’t aware of this, but the vast majority of your audience is using your commercially sponsored podcast as the basis for a drinking game. Make us drunk, and your cash register sing, with all kinds of ill-fitting mentions!

5) Codgerdom. People who are technically advanced enough to listen to niche-oriented Web radio are also highly inclined to appreciate your sneering hate of Facebook, Twitter, Blogfrica, cell phones, pitch counts, and everything else that didn’t exist in 1975. Let’s hear that dander rise!

4) Unacknowledged homerism. Hey, just because you grew up as a fan of a certain laundry, that doesn’t mean you aren’t completely unbiased and able to weigh in on all teams and points. And just because that this considered opinion and approach will be completely indistinguishable from that of a mouth-breathing homer… just means that anyone who notices must be part of some jealous fan base that just wishes they could be in your group. Very refreshing!

3) Background noises. Can we hear some more of your kid yelling, your lawn mowing service, or your cell phone ringtone? Because that way, I know that you’re a real live human being, just like me… and without that, I just won’t be able to relate, really. Keep it real!

2) Producer arguments. That person you work with every day? By all means, pretend that they are either your best friend or worst enemy. Either way, it’s totally authentic, fantastically entertaining, and unique to podcasting. Well done, creative pioneer!

1) Poor call quality. Nothing makes the listener earn it more than having to endure someone on a crappy phone line going remote. It’s especially great if they can show us how important they are by driving, going through airport check-in, or dealing with personal affairs. That just tells us you’re important!

Feel free to add your own in the comments… and no, I don’t have a podcast of my own for you to listen to. Such a shame, really.

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