Tulsa coach has high praise for players’ ass

When asked about the NFL potential of one his players, Nate Solder, Tulsa coach Denver Johnson said the first thing that came to his mind–that Solder’s ass was just phenomenal.

“You can’t watch this guy work out and not say, ‘Wow,’ ” Johnson said. “I mean, I slapped him on the ass out there one day and I’ve got a quarter horse in Tennessee that doesn’t have an ass on him like that. He’s just a physically gifted guy and a smart guy, and just a good, good person.”

I’d love to break down this quote but to tell you the truth, I’m much more intrigued by Johnson’s antics with his quarter horses ass. I mean, I understand the love people have for their animals, but at what point does petting your horse turn into caressing their behind.

Forget Mike Vick’s awful treatment of animals, Coach Johnson is at best an animal lover that’s gone too far and at worst, a man who sodomizes horses. On a side note, if I’m one of the offensive linemen for the Golden Hurricanes next year, I’d make sure to keep my towel on in the lockers. The Johnson has wandering hands after all.

‘Best player’ philosophy will guide Lions in NFL draft [Freep]

--- Did you like this article? And you probably like contests, exclusive content, and smug commentary right? Then why aren't you liking Guyism on Facebook? Show some pride and click the "Like" button below right now: