The Countdown: UFC 130 preview and predictions
Matt Lo Cascio
UFC 130 has had more twists and turns than a midday soap opera. There’s been so much drama they should do the weigh-ins on Maury. Wait — is that still on? (Ed.: please check and e-mail me if it is so I can set DVR.) It’s had fighter’s breaking rules, breaking ribs and in the case of Roy “Big Country” Nelson, no doubt breaking wind. Let’s check the board for UFC 130.
This Not Your Pee-Pee!
Thiago Silva was initially scheduled to fight on this card against Quinton “Rampage’ Jackson. But after reviewing his post-UFC 125 urine samples, the commission ruled that the results “were inconsistent with human urine”. How does one do that? Apparently as Silva was going to issue the sample — make pee — he turned towards the toilet, palmed a bottle, grabbed his penis in his other hand, pretended like he was urinating but added the contents of the bottle to the sample cup.
Silva later confessed to using a “urine adulterant,” which isn’t a punk band but should be. So Silva is out and Rampage will fight Matt Hamill. That will be the main event on the card because…
You’re Hurt? Okay, I am too
UFC lightweight champion Frankie Edgar and Gray Maynard were supposed to battle for a third time with Edgar’s belt on the line. They fought to a draw at UFC 125, and Edgar retained his title. But then Edgar broke some ribs during training and had to withdraw. Anthony “Showtime” Pettis, he of the Matrix-like kick that shocked the world, was going to replace Edgar and get a shot at Maynard. But Maynard then said he had a knee injury. So then the rest of the team grabbed all the gloves and bats and went to get a Slurpee. Then they threw stuff at cars. And ran.
Mullet Fabulous
Mohawks are cool, but real men show their attitude by going with the mullet. It’s the ultimate fashion statement when you want to tell the world that you don’t care one iota about what people think about you. Mullets are also fun to play with and twirl around when you are bored.
UFC 130 features two of the best MMA mullets ever in Miguel Torres and everybody’s favorite fatty fighter, Roy Nelson. These guys have harnessed the power of the mullet, and it’s surprising that more fighters haven’t opted for its greatness. Torres is the former WEC bantamweight champion and is looking for his 40th win. Nelson is the former IFL heavyweight (duh) champion and also won season 10 of The Ultimate Fighter. His physique may be rotund, but he has an incredible skill set. He is a black belt in Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu under Renzo Gracie and is also known for his power right.
The Last Rampage?
Rampage Jackson has been talking retirement from MMA for years. The only problem is the checks are too big to pass up. Rampage makes somewhere around $500k per fight, so he keeps fighting. He has stated that he will retire for sure by age 35, when he wants to go to movies full-time. Not sure how much work there will be for him — I don’t see that A-Team sequel coming anytime soon — but if the price is right, Rampage will be there!
But if the desire isn’t there for him at UFC 130, Hamill will repeatedly take him down, overpower him and beat him up badly. Would that then signal the end of Rampage’s career? No chance. Even if Rampage goes away and does movies for a spell, there will always be fans that want to see him walk into the arena, do his howl and possibly beat some fighter up.
The Skyscraper
Not to be outdone by mullets, howls and large bellies, Stefan “Skyscraper” Struve is always a nightmare matchup for his opponents. Standing 6’11″, the long, strong and lean Struve loves to stand and bang, but is also very skilled on the ground, where he takes those long limbs and ties up opponents in submission holds.
But he must be wary of his opponent, Travis Browne. Browne has some of the best power in the heavyweight division. Before his recent draw with Cheick Kongo, Browne was putting together an impressive streak of making his opponents go night-night. He had 5 straight KO/TKOs before the Kongo bout, and might have had another if Kongo didn’t keep grabbing his shorts. I’m calling it now — this will be the “Fight of the Night”.
Quick Picks
Matt Hamill over Quinton Jackson
Frank Mir over Roy Nelson
Miguel Torres over Demetrious Johnson
Rick Story over Thiago Alves
Stefan Struve over Travis Browne
Brian Stann over Jorge Santiago
Kendall Grove over Tim Boetsch
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