I firmly believe that Valentine's Day is just a farce of a holiday that reveals nothing about a relationship other than sharing a common bond over not wanting friends and family to think you're a lonely person incapable of love. But that said, it carries some symbolic weight. So what does it say about people when one-fifth of people polled say they'd rather be with a pet than a partner on Valent ...more.

I'm not a dog owner (primarily due to my live-in girlfriend's allergy to them), but I'm definitely a dog sympathizer. So I read this story about arguably the world's most awesome dog park in Tampa Bay. But what should have been a story with adorable dog pictures happened to have a hilarious quote about what douchebags we humans are with letting pets run our lives. ...more.

We are mere days away from the Big Game. No, not the name for companies afraid of saying Super Bowl, but the real big game...Animal Planet's Puppy Bowl VI. The starting line-ups are out and, as always expected, it's shaping up to be a real barnburner with occasional naps and perhaps someone crapping on the floor. ...more.

A Taiwanese man has a bad habit of smoking. So what did he do? Obviously, he also got his pet snake addicted to smoking. WTFness after the jump. ...more.

You would think that with all the advancements in cinema (I literally thought that I could reach out and sniff the blue chick's funky jungle goodness in Avatar in 3D), we'd be making more interesting and compelling movies than the past. But there's no way we're ever topping 1973 film The Day of the Dolphin. ...more.

Yes, you read that headline correctly...a vicious pack of beagles is running Long Islanders out of town, occasionally attacking people and overall striking fear into their cold hearts and bouffanted Long Island hair. ...more.

Between the cat in this Japanese commercial and Business Dog (clad in his glasses, shirt, and tie), I think I'm ready to take on the business world. Meet Guyism's new CFO, Japanese Business Cat in a local ad for, um, let's say...sequined airplane pillows. ...more.

Continuing with the "Animals Do the Most Sexually Perverse Things" theme that began with a dog making out with a drunk girl, here's a little something about mice. Oh, nature...you're so majestic. ...more.

Who hasn't been blackout drunk and had a dog make out with them for an uncomfortably long time while a friend films it? Oh, everyone? Well then, this video of an unconscious girl getting tongue kissed by a dog is truly the apex of interspecies relations. ...more.

Everybody loves strip clubs, except for strippers who have no soul and are thus incapable of feelings such as "love". But did you know that animals also love strip clubs? They must, if you're to believe this surveillance footage of a goat breaking into a Palm Springs area strip club. ...more.

So perhaps conceptually this is funny, but more than anything, it's just kind of an "Awwwwww" story: An Indianapolis man rescued a dog from a pound after his litter had been abandoned in a dumpster. So how did the dog repay him? A year and a half later, the wheelchair-bound owner was frozen into the snow and the dog, Auggie, saved his life. Sorry, just cutting some onions over here. ...more.

Dogs are really good at otherwordly things, like licking their taint without gagging and, apparently, sensing earthquakes before they happen. Here's a dog in a newsroom in Arcata, California before a recent earthquake and his reaction to knowing the earthquake is coming before the humans do. ...more.

This might seem like an "It's Friday and I Want to Get out of Here" post. And perhaps it is. But if you can't see the simply beauty in a dog that's wearing a shirt and tie AND GLASSES, then I don't think we can be e-friends any more. I present to you: The Greatest Dog Ever. ...more.

I might just be making this up, but I think the myth is that most animal scientists say that animals only have sex for procreation, not pleasure. And maybe that's true for most of the animal kingdom. But let's dispel any broad stereotyping of animals' need for sexual gratification with this video...it's a walrus attempting to give himself a little mouth love, if you will. ...more.

Procedural cop shows (every show that ends with some crime/mystery and ends with some mook solving it within 42 minutes) are literally the lifeblood of the TV industry along with drunken whores doing stupid things on camera. So given that, it might be time to revisit this 1990 pilot of a show called "Poochinski" about a cop (played by Peter Boyle) who gets reincarnated as a TALKING DOG. ...more.

My lovely girlfriend and I (I preface my statement with this to assure you of my manliness) own a cat. And I like cats...they're cool if you raise them right. But that said, they can sometimes make a whole lot of obnoxious and repetitive noise. So what's the logical recourse? Calling 911, obviously, like this lady in England who reported to police that her cat was driving her insane. ...more.

This might be sacrilege in our modern "Let's go give a handjob to a tree" society, but I'm not big on the Go Green movement. The earth was around long before us and will be here long after we exterminate ourselves through war, pollution, and Zhu Zhu Pets. Here's why I believe what I do: A new book features a study shows that owning a dog causes as much pollution as owning a massive SUV. ...more.