Everyone knows someone to have been screwed over by a winged bird like an eagle. But for some reason, these bird crimes go unchecked by the police. Finally, the answer why is revealed from this report from an island in Stockholm. ...more.

There have been very few trustworthy monkeys that I've encountered in life. Most would maul you the first chance they get and/or throw feces on you as soon as they feel continent. So it comes as no shock that this damned dirty chimp would strip a woman down in broad daylight. Video is after the jump and I suppose it's technically NSFW, unless you're a monkey with grabby hands and a day job. ...more.

Ever since I opened a package of Polly-O and found a piece of string-cheese missing, I've had a healthy distrust of parrots. Here's another reason why...they'll rape you, as evidenced by this BBC video of a man being introduced to an extremely rare parrot. ...more.

Want to feel better about yourself going into the weekend? Queue up this video after the jump...the rhinoceros who simply can't get it up for his lover while everyone in the zoo stares, points, and laughs. Poor poor rhino. Might be NSFW if your office frowns on hilarious rhino penis. ...more.

Via Thingpart comes this comic about the fragility of life and a magical dog who knows CPR. ...more.

This is arguably the most worthless story ever but this dog rocks entirely too much not to post it. The gist: An owner got his dog some sunglasses and now the dog won't take them off....more.

Dogs are pretty much the greatest thing in the world, especially if you have a jar of peanut butter (FYI choosy dogs choose Jif), but this dog might be the most awesome of them all because he has EYEBROWS.For years I've wanted a dog but have been disappointed in how they fail at adequately conveying surprise. But finally, I can put those concerns aside. On the downside, this is yet another w ...more.

I enjoy the sport of basketball quite a bit and one day dream of being emperor while the NBA Finals goes on, only under my rule, the losing team will be eaten by robot lions. So seeing these otters play basketball for my amusement definitely works for me.Of course it's only the brown otters who could dunk. Oh, there aren't even white otters. Well, whatever, 20 years of black comedians lead ...more.

I'm way behind on this meme apparently, but this video combines two of my favorite things: Disabled people getting hurt and a cat acting like a human. Watch it and experience the simple joys of life.The only sad part is that falling like an escalator might have serious repercussions on that guy's health. He may never regain function in his legs aga...oh right. Well then. Pride takes a whil ...more.

I know, rape is never funny. UNLESSSSS it's done by a dog on a grandma for 40 seconds while everyone in the family just stands there watching.It's very cute to watch when a dog does it (and you're not the victim), much less cute when it's a guy fresh out of jail named Chooch. I imagine he prefers to rape the elderly women primarily because they have the skin that most closely resembles Snaus ...more.

The source of this image says it's a "breasfeeding fail" but I think it's just that squirrels really know how to pleasure each other in their sleep. Either way, this squirrel is definitely doing something....more.

I think it's safe to say that I would, and did, watch this about 20 times. Here is Porter. He's a dog. And he is SINGING and PLAYING PIANO.In actuality, this is probably how Steve Wonder and Ray Charles' performances should have turned out. If I were a blind dude and you put me in front of a piano, I'd just stare at you...er...in your general direction and be like, "You f'ing kidding me?" ...more.

Our friends at PhillyBurbs (give them a click because they actually made this awesome video themselves) got this video of a dog being a dick.Let this be a lesson to all of you out there who think dressing your dogs up is a good idea. When you dress your dog up like a gay Frenchman, he is going to resent you. Same thing for when you dress your child up like a Navy officer and then give the pi ...more.

I'm inclined to think that animals having sex is the hottest...um...funniest thing around. Check out this extremely awkward threesome between squirrels.I'll tell you what...it's never a good sign n a threesome when you can't tell who's the male and who's the female or who's getting fed or doing the f'ing. That's how people get hurt, both physically and emotionally.Also an animated version ...more.