I had always assumed that to commit "assault with a deadly weapon" that an actual deadly weapon had to be involved. But it turns out that that it isn't just knives and guns and lemurs that can get you in trouble, such as this teenager who got charged with felony assault for throwing a burrito. ...more.

Michael J. Fox has done a lot for the cause of Parkinson's, bringing attention and resources to the fight to cure that debilitating disease. So now, perhaps, he can do something for America's favorite dessert beverage....more.

It seems like dead bodies falling into food "accidentally" is all the rage lately. For example, take this poor woman who died at a McDonald's food processing plant....more.

It seems like one of the popular things to do these days is splice together clips of Food Network whores doing stuff to make it sexual. Skip to like :33 for the good stuff.Sandra Lee might not be hot by Internet model standards, but I'd definitely blow a load in her casserole (that's not a euphemism, I'd f her and then beat off into whatever food dish was nearby). Ditto for most of the chick ...more.

This is a sad story but, come on, a guy died by falling into a vat of chocolate. What do you expect from me?...more.

Art is very subjective, but rarely delicious. Fortunately, some heroes in New Jersey are fixing that by turning french fries into sculptures in an annual contest.Each year on the boardwalk, thousands of french fries are consumed by beachgoers, snatched by seagulls or tossed in the trash at the end of the day.But once a year, the truly lucky ones become art.Entrants in the city's french fry ...more.

Katy Perry is a long-time favorite here but this photo she posted on Twitter is, well, confusing....more.

I enjoyed this video of some dudes who, basically, go into a Red Lobster every year, act like douchebags in creative ways, then wait to see if they'll still get served. This year's version is an elaborate one.That's pretty crazy. You wouldn't think they'd be able to get away with such wackiness at a classy establishment like Red Lobster. Anywhere that has stuffed lobsters on the wall and pe ...more.

I like shrimp and have been known to enjoy committing genocide on dozens of them in the form of frozen shrimp cocktails. But if your kid is terrified of them, this might not be the best way to fix that problem (lower the sound volume before you play this unless you work in a place where screaming children is allowed and/or rewarded).It's easy to condemn this mother for torturing her child for ...more.

Via Channelate comes this comic about what might make for a viable secret ingredient in your next cookout....more.

I don't hate the Chinese since I love their delicious food stuffs and creative ways of oppressing the masses. But things like this makes me wonder what the Chinese are really up to....more.

I ate a Whopper from Burger King yesterday for the first time in a while. It was definitely delicious. Up until the part in which I felt like my stomach was full of sludge the rest of the day. And the cold sweats. And the syphilis, which may or may not be unrelated. Anyway, they're getting healthier for your kids!...more.

I'm all for whatever can get you business in this difficult economy (my suggestion: Putting just a little bit of meth in all your food), but there's something a bit unnerving about this Ohio BBQ restaurant putting up a particularly busty mannequin as a way of luring in new customers.Now what gets me about this is two things...the loving way that the owner of the restaurant fixes the mannequin' ...more.

Apparently this video by an artist with classical influences named "Ms. Peachez" came out in 2006. I hadn't heard of it until recently when the heroes known as Opie and Anthony brought it to my attention so it's new to me, that counts for something. It's a song titled "Fry That Chicken."You see the problem is that Ms. Peachez doesn't seem like some brilliant satirist. And when you're kind o ...more.