Bars hold a special place in my heart. I’ve spent the good part of my youth either sitting in them, drinking in them and on about more than a few occasions, being removed from them by some sort of barland security. I can’t pinpoint the exact number, but second hand accounts and police reports like to put the over/under at 15. What can I say, when I have a bit of whiskey I have a tendency t ...more.

After a domestic dispute between a woman and her husband, she reacted logically. Coolly, calmly, and rationally, she drunkenly threw a pocketknife at his head and then told the police to arrest her "because [she's] an alcoholic nymphomaniac." ...more.

Is there anything sillier than a person all messed up on some foreign substance? Nothing can cause you to deteriorate from borderline-contributing-part-of-society to complete debacle within minutes. Watch this opus of a guy wobbling around a convenience store and guess what he's on. ...more.

People hook up at bars...it's basically what bars are for unless you're an alcoholic. But one Scottish bar is not only turning a blind eye to it, but bringing a bit of quiet dignity to getting reamed in a ladies' bathroom stall. ...more.

I really can't stand drunk drivers. It's a stupid mistake and there's a huge risk you're taking, typically involving other people's lives. However, when you look like Jessica Maree Langford (pictured, right) and you want to drive drunk AND naked, well, maybe we can work something out. ...more.

You may think you've been drunk beyond belief in your life and, odds are, you were by most conventional standards. But when compared to this man, who racked up his 22nd DWI with a blood alcohol level of .393, you were probably competent enough to do open heart surgery or circumcise a baby. Click to feel way better about your alcoholism. ...more.

Everyone's always caught up on the bigger parts of the government's spending that use up our tax dollars and provide not a whole lot in return. So it's easy to forget about how expensive the little things can be when added up...like Kenny Walters, San Francisco town drunk. ...more.

Ever get so drunk that you accuse someone of murdering a whale? Yeah, I think we've all been there. ...more.

A German woman in a bridal gown woke up in the back of a car next to a crate of vodka. So, uh, what happened? ...more.

It's hard to tell who's the bigger dick in this scenario: The loud-mouthed drunk American girl or the assholeish Mexican dude who knocks her on the floor.Drunk girls are generally pretty insufferable. It's either hostility/cuntiness, a series of "Woo's" with arms extended, or vomiting onto something. Granted, you can usually f them through most of these scenarios, which helps make them more ...more.

Check out these Russian dudes and how they do fancy tricks with their vodka shots. Never has the lead up to a Communist DUI been so visually impressive.That's a pretty impressive skill but there's something unflinchingly homoerotic about throwing a liquid into your friend's open mouth, followed by him squinting his eyes and choking the liquid down. Not to say these guys are gay or anything, ...more.

I love news stories where you see a sentence and you go, "Wow, what a pleasure it must be to write that." This news story is a perfect example of that love of mine....more.

I once did a pub crawl with Going.com which, of course, means that I have to get their emails in perpetuity for the rest of my life. Now don't get me wrong, I could care less, but this marketing email (pictured below) that I got about a "Tribute to Michael Jackson: King of Pop Pub Crawl" struck me as a bit tacky....more.

The 24 finale made me kind of sad because, well, I thought it kind of blew. But when searching for Kiefer Sutherland-related Internet stuffs, I came across this old photo and it amused me quite a bit, so here it is....more.