Did you watch the Inauguration of Barack Obama today and feel like, "Gosh, this is a wonderful ceremony full of retarded f'ing hats and awesomeness, but it seems to be missing sweaty fat people having sex"? Well, have I got good news for you....more.

Well sir and/or madame, here's your chance! The new "Head O State" dildo offers all of the hot Barack Obama action without any of the Obama mess!...more.

Well if you haven't heard this small news item, Barack Obama became our President last night. And yeah, this is usually a funny quote or something, but hey, you only see a black guy elected to the highest office in the country so often.If there is anyone out there who still doubts that America is a place where all things are possible; who still wonders if the dream of our founders is alive in o ...more.

If you're like me, you may like one candidate more than the other but mayyyybe don't want to lose all of your income to give to welfare and the poor (what can I say, I'm a wealthy and powerful man). Well, finally, we have a viable candidate....more.

It's that time of the year where everyone casts a vote for a candidate but, more importantly, casts their support for democracy. But if all the celebrity endorsements and media blitz weren't enough to make you run out and place a vote for either of the two Presidential candidates, maybe these cartoons might make you see the importance of getting out and voting. ...more.

We're coming down to the wire here in the US with our Presidential election so here's a reminder of what you can vote for tomorrow.I think it's so cute how she tries to be smart and poignant. It's like watching a dog chase its tail. Or a retarded kid trying to not eat the soap. Yeah, you'd like to think it'll succeed, but odds are it'll end up just dizzy and vomiting on the floor. And who ...more.

I usually abhor parody videos but these are pretty well made. Check out this collection of political ads for John McCain, "made by" Diablo Cody (Juno), David Lynch (Twin Peaks), and M. Night Shyamalan (Twist Crap parts 1-4).Nothing really to add here other than the fact that I just thought these were extremely well made and, thus, worth your time. And my train made me like an hour late today ...more.

This is either the best or worst ad targeting I've ever seen....more.

Reports of "vote flipping" have been spreading around lately and now there's video to back up the claims that, yes, some touchscreen voting booths are taking votes for Barack Obama and giving it to some other candidate.So if we wind up electing President Chuck Baldwin in less than a week, you'll know why. I look forward to his policies being implemented. I'm most excited for the 7th trimester ...more.

Remember the old Reebok viral commercials for Terry Tate: Office Linebacker? In which a large black man looking like an NFL linebacker would run in to the office and hit random people acting like assholes in the office? Well he's back! And making political statements!Whatever, it's not like it's the first time Sarah Palin has been plowed by a large black man. In Alaska, they call them "Moo ...more.

The "Joe the Plumber", Joe Wurzelbacher, mentioned in debates last night is an Internet superstar. His poetic thoughts on his ridiculous amount of attention last night:"I was just really surprised that my name was mentioned," he told reporters after the debate. "I think it helped them get their points across, so I was happy about that."[via] ...more.

So I'm pretty sure John McCain was trying to eat Barack Obama's brains last night....more.

Ever wondered what at least one of the Golden Girls thinks about the upcoming election? Well, good news! Betty White has answered your prayers!The last time I heard such salty language from a post-menopausal woman, it was Forcible Sodomy Night at the old folks' home. Now why would there be Forcible Sodomy Night at an old folks' home? Well, they canceled Bingo Night after the stock market t ...more.

Bristol Palin's baby daddy Levi Johnston opened up in a Q and A with the Associated Press. Poeticism abound. Several nuggets of brilliance below.Johnston said he wasn't forced to campaign with Palin's mother. Bristol Palin invited him and Johnston jumped at the chance. It was a whirlwind experience for Johnston, who was seated with the Palins at the Republican National Convention."At first, ...more.