Indulge me here for a minute. I never cover sports because, well, other people do it with way more enthusiasm, but this weekend I got DirecTV's Superfan Sunday NFL Ticket package and I have to say my life is completely changed. More than ever, I now want to run away with the NFL and make adorable, leather-clad babies with it. Anyway, because I want to talk football, here's a video of the Cheers ...more.

There's nothing better than having a sense of humor about yourself. And there's even more..better...ness about knowing who you are. This lady has both of those goals accomplished....more.

I don't know if it's because I grew up and live in the city, but lakes can be absolutely terrifying. Jason from Friday the 13th came out of a lake. So did, uh, Pol Pot (or I can't think of a second one, f you). Well, now you have to also worry about penis monsters with tentacles....more.

There are literally ones and ones of times in life where you can thank the skies for your obesity...when you're so fat that a flesh-eating bacteria gives up on eating you is one of them....more.

Now here's a fun little story...some security officers in an Israeli airport made a black guy dance before he could come into the country. Sounds like those Israelis know how to get down!Israeli airport security officers made an African American member of the New York-based Alvin Ailey dance troupe perform steps for them before letting him enter the country, the group said on Tuesday.The gr ...more.

If I had a dollar for every Yemeni 8 year-old in a marriage she didn't want that I read about this morning, I'd officially have one dollar.A Yemeni court on Tuesday granted a divorce to an eight-year-old girl whose unemployed father forced her into an arranged marriage this year, saying he feared she might be kidnapped."I am happy that I am divorced now. I will be able to go back to school," ...more.

I don't know why, but I found this video to be pretty enthralling. It's basically shittily-made cupcakes doing a stop motion waltz. I'm sober, just FYI.I haven't seen cupcakes dance like that since the great Cupcake Dance Party of 2003. Oh man did my cupcakes dance then, like they never had before. There was punch and a disco ball and the cupcakes danced the night away. Timmy Cupcakington ...more.