I'm a big fan of absurdist situations. Like when a woman accused me of fathering her child and I went, "BWA HA I'M THE MAGIC MAN" and threw sulfuric acid at her. It didn't come off as whimsical as it was in my head. Anyway here's a guy in a huge banana costume scaring people.I remember the first time I encountered a living banana. I stared into its cold, dead eyes. It had a smile, but it ...more.

Via Channelate comes this comic about the power of mind over matter.Man, do I wish I had this trick about seven minutes ago at the rest stop. That burger I got from Roy Rogers tasted like feet and bovine depression.See? Bet you thought I was going with a cock in the glory hole joke there. But I'll have you know that the penises at the I-80 Exit 24 rest stop are fresh and nutritious. I-80 ...more.

Women are good for lots of things (put change in your lady friend's vagina...bam! No jingling pockets!) but who knew that smashing fruit like a busty Gallagher fell under that umbrella?Boobs, what can't you do? Well, other than provide women with the ability to drive well or not buy shoes every week or make equal salary. But other than those, the possibilities are endless.For the record, i ...more.

Something about this ad for Brazilian motel "The Charm Motel" (can I put motel into this sentence more times? Motel motel motel) made me all giddy in my groin. I wonder why....more.

So I just caught up with Thursday's episode of The Colbert Report and holy crap am I sad I didn't get to this sooner. Colbert discussed the recent study that showed that fruit had usurped cookies as the #1 snack for kids. And then accused the Cookie Monster of pushing a pro-fruit agenda. So imagine his surprise when the Cookie Monster made a guest appearance to rebut!Nothing I say here woul ...more.