There’s no question in my mind that this is the last thing a hooker or two has seen before her untimely demise. Just this creep there, stroking his withering strands of hair, sharpening a blade and dancing like Michael Madsen in Reservoir Dogs. I don’t think I’ve ever been so horrified by a person in a video doing something relatively normal as I am by this. Other than that David after the Dentist kid. He’s definitely mugging me for money for crack or meth at some point in the not-too-distant future.

You can terrify yourself with more videos of this guy doing the same thing to other songs at his YouTube channel.

On the Internet, people have a way of finding cuteness in many different animals but the reality is that 99% of them will eat your f’ing face off if given the chance. I mean seriously, theoretically these things are adorable but in terms of practicality it’s probably a good idea not to fetishize them. Like if I heard reports of drunken sorority girls eating people’s faces and leaving them in a ditch, I’d be much less inclined to want to work them like a finger puppet all the time. I’d still probably jerk off to hidden cameras of them peeing mind you, but I definitely would be reluctant to wear 3D glasses when doing so. The first step in prevention is taking the proper precautions.

Smokers buying cigarettes will from Wednesday be confronted with a series of gruesome images printed on the packets showing how tobacco damages health.

The pictures, which show cancerous lungs and throats as well as rotting teeth, replace written warnings such as “Smoking clogs the arteries and causes heart attacks and strokes” or “Smoking can cause a slow and painful death” which currently greet going to light up.

The picture warnings will start appearing on cigarette packs from October 1 and will be compulsory from October next year. They will be printed on all tobacco products from October 2010.

Why stop with cigarettes? Let’s go all the way and have the dangers of everything on the labels for everything. A vomiting man getting into a car accident with an ugly lady in the passenger seat on the side of alcohol, an enormously obese man on the side of a Big Mac box (with Scratch ‘n’ Sniff body odor!), a man standing there with a coathanger looking menacingly at his girlfriend on a box of condoms…there’s so much risk out there. The world needs to know!

The horrific pictures are after the jump. Be careful clicking. Seriously.

Passersby gawked, laughed and sneered at the six fully-grown flame-haired ‘dolls’ who crossed roads and stalked street corners brandishing butcher’s knives.

Each Chucky wore the horror film character’s trademark blue dungarees and striped long-sleeve T-shirt.

The eye-catching stunt was designed to promote the release of Child’s Play, Chucky’s 20th Birthday Edition DVD.

Thank God I didn’t see this firsthand in the city yesterday or I’d have probably sprinted away in tears. Or curled up in the fetal position looking around futilely for someone to hold me. It’s nice that midgets can get work and whatever but seriously this is kind of traumatic. I was very young when Child’s Play came out and I had one of those My Buddy dolls the movie was vaguely based on. I ended up scribbling marker all over the dolls face, shoving it in the closet, as I sat terrified at the edge of my bed. So, my parents’ negligence aside, I don’t have the fondest memories of Chucky or any doll with dead, soulless eyes and overalls.

On the plus side, Kid Sister and I had a long and fulfilling relationship that would last me until I could afford a real doll. So I guess it wasn’t all bad.

I like this image mostly because I really relate to that one hand going straight for the big boobs. It’s like, hey, yeah I’m a disembodied hand coming from the floor, but whatever man, I need to get some action too. What, because I’m a little “different” you’re incapable of seeing that I’m a man? A man with needs? Well f you, Dressy. Because I will yank you down to some sort of abyss. Or your basement, whatever. With gusto.

Editor’s Note: Changed this to a link instead of a posted image because, I dunno, it’s a little too gross/kid-fy to me: LINK

Uh…are we doing surrealist photography or are we in Pete Townshend’s computer? I guess those things don’t have to be mutually exclusive, but still…a bit perturbing and kiddie-pornish, I say. But whatever, art is art, so..that’s cool.

View the photographer’s Web site here.

Phyllis Lyon and Del Martin fell in love at a time when lesbians risked being arrested, fired from their jobs and sent to electroshock treatment.

On Monday afternoon, more than a half-century after they became a couple, Lyon and Martin plan to become the first same-sex couples to legally exchange marriage vows in San Francisco and among the first in the state.

“It was something you wanted to know, ‘Is it really going to happen?’ And now it’s happened, and maybe it can continue to happen,” Lyon said.

San Francisco Mayor Gavin Newsom plans to officiate at the private ceremony in his City Hall office before 50 invited guests. He picked Martin, 87, and Lyon, 84, for the front of the line in recognition of their long relationship and their status as pioneers of the gay rights movement.

Mmm check out those two sexy babes up there. Nothing would get me hotter than that saucy little prune sandwich. Yeah, sniff her hair, Del. Oh…a couple clumps came out eh? Yeah well, that’s what cervical cancer will do I guess. Kiss her naughty place. Yeahhhhh…wait…move that cobweb out of the way first. How did that get there? Just slide a finger in. Don’t worry, put a little WD-40 on your hand and it’ll be fine…wait, looks like there’s something stuck in there. Is that a newspaper that says “Dewey Defeats Truman”? You can use your mouth. Mmm…it looks like you’re a zombie trying to feed yourself off of Albert Einstein.

Oh baby, nothing hotter than a couple of experienced women doing sexy things. Thanks for that, gay marriage. Without you, there would be no “flannel wedding gown” industry.