Events reportedly happened Monday in the town of Duitama, in the central Colombian region of Boyaca. The two suspects who are cousins deceived their 18-year-old victim by pretending to offer her a job.

According to the daily El Tiempo, the 16-year-old suspect had been pregnant but lost the baby in a fall. With her cousin, she planned to steal someone else’s baby so that her boyfriend would not leave her.

One of the suspects reportedly made contact with the pregnant woman and asked her to go to a solitary cellar for a job interview. When she got there, the two attackers tied her up and performed a C-section, removing the seven-month-old foetus from her womb.

“Although proceedings were hardly orthodox, it is striking that the girls may have carried out that surgery without compromising organs other than the womb, particularly if we take into account that the patient was supposedly awake and fighting so that her baby would not be taken away,” doctor Ernesto Giraldo was quoted as saying.

One of the alleged attackers brought the baby home with her, but was found out when her family saw the child and forced her to take it to the hospital, where it was placed in an incubator.

I know a lot of horrific kidnapping-related crimes happen in South America, but you probably can’t beat “Teenage mom lured in by job interview kidnapped and forced to undergo a C-section by two teenage girls, one of whom lost their baby.” It’s like a made-for-TV Lifetime movie starring a girl who had one line as a cheerleader in “High School Musical 3.” Pretty poorly planned scheme though. Any time you can see your crime existing as a second-rate Barbie doll, you might want to go back to the drawing board.

Teens steal baby from mom’s womb [IOL.co.za]

A young mother has spoken of her fury today after she was accused of ‘indecent exposure’ and thrown off a bus – for breastfeeding her hungry six-week-old daughter.

Amy Wootten, 25, was travelling home in Bristol when she started feeding Emily.

But then, without warning, the driver stopped the packed bus and told her to get off. Despite it pouring with rain, he threatened to call the police if she didn’t get off at the next stop.

She said: ‘The bus driver told me someone had said I was indecently exposing myself and said stop or get off my bus.

‘I was showing a tiny bit of breast, but is it any different to showing your arm or your foot?’

UPDATE: Surveillance footage revealed that the woman was lying. But still..amusing quote all the same.

‘Indecent exposure’: Fury of mother, 25, thrown off bus and forced to get taxi for breastfeeding [Daily Mail]

Just in case you thought you briefly slipped into a seizure, you did in fact just witness a grown man dressed like a wolf dancing with a young girl who stripped before bumping and grinding with Mr. Wolf. You probably also just got yourself onto a dozen FBI watch lists. You’re welcome.

I’m all in favor of making a kid feel good about him or herself…um, not like that…but what mother puts their kid up to this? I know times are different now, but I don’t think there will ever be a speech by America’s first female President that says, “You know, the moment I was always most proud of as a child was when I straddled that old man in the wolf costume and simulated intercourse.” Though I’d definitely be in favor of having our first President getting caught for giving a handy for meth, so I guess it’d be a trade-off.

Police in Colorado say they arrested a 28-year-old man accused of passing out in a McDonald’s play area and telling his two children to bite the officers who were trying to arrest him.

Colorado Springs police say officers had to use a Taser on Joshua Alger to subdue him Wednesday after he allegedly passed out drunk at the fast-food restaurant.

Police say Alger refused officers’ orders and at one point told his children to “bite the officers’ faces off.”

[WKYC]

Maricopa County Sheriff’s deputies went to the home of 33-year-old Tanya Nareau on Tuesday after receiving a tip about the swap.

While at Nareau’s home, a family friend who had the child confirmed to deputies that Nareau gave the girl to him for a gun.

Deputies say Nareau felt that the friend would do a better job in raising the child. They say Nareau also claimed she could not buy a weapon because she’s prohibited to do so by law.

Authorities say Nareau has been booked into county jail. She’s charged with the unlawful sale of a child and solicitation to possess a weapon by a prohibited person.

So I’m not sure if this “family friend” was doing a good thing or not. On the one hand, it’s probably a good idea to get this little girl out of Nareau’s life before she ends up being turned into hamburger meat. On the other hand, a male “family friend” who’d take in a 2-year-old girl might not necessarily be on the up-and-up either. If there’s any way to make trading your child for an illegal firearm more scummy than it is fundamentally, this woman certainly seems to have found it.

I’m pretty concerned for this little girl growing up right. She’d probably have just as bright of a future if her mother had trained her for five years on how to spit bullets out of her mouth at high speeds. At least then she’d have a promising career as a sideshow freak waiting for her. Or as an appliance in The Flintstone’s household. Neither would be extremely lucrative, but hey, it’s a living.

[LA Times]

Click for the full-sized image or to see the original Craigslist posting click here

I’m all for moms looking to find their kids some tail; that’s a far better option than the “Here’s a video of some cartoon that looks like that comic Ziggy learning about sex” that I got when I was a child. But even if this kid is in fact heterosexual and interested in sex with a woman and ends up getting a confidence boost from some random Craigslist whore letting him throw her one, I’m pretty sure that boost would be negated if he found out his mom had to find her on the Internet begging for someone to love him or, even worse, if he found out his mom has to prostitute herself to get a girl just to do him. Could you imagine how gross it would be if you had a threesome with your mom? Because that’s what that’d basically be. The only way a threesome with your mom is socially acceptable is if A) There’s a glory hole and B) She baked cookies. So, sorry Casual Encounters Mom, you’re in flagrant violation of any and all creepy mom statutes.

A 35-year-old mother of nine is suing a Springfield hospital, three doctors and two nurses, claiming they permanently sterilized her against her will, violating her reproductive rights, according to a lawsuit filed in Superior Court.

Tessa Savicki, who has nine children aged 3 to 21, claims doctors were supposed to implant an intrauterine device, which is a type of reversible birth control, after she delivered a son, Manuel Flores, on Dec. 19, 2006, at Baystate Medical Center.

Savicki said she did not sign a written consent for a tubal ligation, which under federal and state regulations is required at least 30 days in advance for all MassHealth patients who want a permanent sterilization procedure.

Savicki has nine children from several men, is unemployed and relies on public assistance for two of the four children who live with her. She receives supplemental security income, or SSI, for a disability, non-Hodgkin’s lymphoma, she said. Her mother has custody of three of her children. Two of her children are no longer minors.

“There was no medical reason for them to do this,” Savicki told the Herald. “That’s my choice. This is my body. I wanted the IUD so later if I felt I wanted more children, I could have more.”

[Boston Herald]

Click to see the theoretically but not really NSFW version

Honestly, at this point, you might as well just put a firemen’s pole in the little girl’s room. You’ve done your damage already, at least let her begin work on her craft. It’s the trashy whore mom equivalent of getting your kid into early SAT classes.

It seems unfair to condemn an entire nation for the “sins” of one parent. But at the same time, it seems unfair to expect your 11-year-old child to connect your electricity as though he were Con Edison, all without such fancy tools as “support” or “gloves.”

At first, I didn’t get what the second half of the video is there for. Clearly the money shot was the little husky gentleman being forced to connect the electricity. Then I realized, this must be an official El Salvadorian tourism video. Come to El Salvador…where the children are worked like mules, women are built like fire hydrants, and everyone gets a refreshing can of Salva Cola. No wonder the travel industry is booming.

I guess you can’t begrudge the parents too much. It’s important that you have your kids learn the importance of hard work at a young age. Plus if he electrocutes himself given that El Salvador is a relatively impoverished nation, how could you pass up free barbecue?

The sex talk is never easy. It’s not comfortable for anyone involved – parents are afraid of it, children are mortified by it – which is probably why the Talk so often comes after the fact. In the latest study on parent-child talks about sex and sexuality, researchers found that more than 40% of adolescents had had intercourse before talking to their parents about safe sex, birth control or sexually transmitted diseases.

That trend is troublesome, say experts, since teens who talk to their parents about sex are more likely to delay their first sexual encounter and to practice safe sex when they do become sexually active. And, ironically, despite their apparent dread, kids really want to learn about sex from their parents, according to study after study on the topic.

“The results didn’t surprise me,” says Dr. Mark Schuster, one of the authors of the new study, published in Pediatrics, and chief of general pediatrics at Children’s Hospital Boston. “But there’s something about having actual data that serves as a wakeup call to parents who are not talking to their kids about very important issues until later than we think would be best.”

I could see how a parent sitting down and talking to their kids about sex would get a kid on the right path. Mostly because I know if my mom had talked to me about sex right as the hormones really started going, I think my penis would have inverted for at least a half-decade. If you really want your kids to be equally informed and horrified, you could just show them a video of you and your significant other having sex. It can be softcore and I’m pretty sure it’d do the trick. Just to clarify though, it’s probably not a great idea to do that with other people’s kids. For some reason in our conservative society, that would be frowned upon. Prudes.

[Yahoo]

Eating this outside of the Walker household clad in a white robe and beard would just be cruel.

Over three months in 2006, as her five children grew more emaciated and listless by the day, Estelle Walker made no move to find a job, no effort to scrounge up a meal, her kids told a jury yesterday.

“We were supposed to wait for God to provide,” said Walker’s oldest daughter, now 21. “And that’s what we did.”

At one point, the daughter said, she and her siblings went 11 days without food. When police were at last summoned to the Sussex County cabin by neighbors, investigators found the children so malnourished they had difficulty talking.

Walker is charged with four counts of second-degree child endangerment (apparently the court wasn’t a big fan of one of the kids). The kids’ testimony said that she never sought help from neighbors, relatives, or even the two nearby churches to feed the kids. Reports say the kids weren’t embittered or angry during their testimony, which is a pretty remarkable testament to them growing up as good people. I’d have probably ended up on a 10 minute profanity-laced tirade about her or drawing a pentagram in blood.

So, there you go, lesson learned. God will not provide food for you without any effort on your part. Unless you’re part of Pac-Man’s family, in which case delicious and nutritious fruits regularly drop from the sky. Little known fact: Power pellets are actually communion wafers.

[NJ.com]

Image credit

Giving birth is a big event for any woman, but for tiny Stacey Herald it is momentous – and extremely risky.

Doctors warned 2ft 4in Stacey off pregnancy. They said a baby would grow so large inside her body it would crush her organs, strangling her from the inside out.
Recalling her first pregnancy, Stacey, from Dry Ridge, Kentucky, said: “They all told me I’d die. They begged me not to have the baby…

“All my babies are miracles. They’re a great gift to the world. When I look at them I’m so full of love, it’s tough not to want more.”

I especially like how she’s wearing Spongebob Squarepants clothing. For her, the choices in maternity clothes were either Spongebob pajamas or clothing from Barbie’s “I Really Let Myself Go After Ken Came Out” playset.

Stacey has given birth to two girls prior to her current pregnancy, now ages two and three years old. Both were by c-section, fortunately. A natural birth from Ms. Herald would look absurd, like an irregular Matroyshka doll bought from a flea market.

That said, it’s kind of touching. A bit frightening to look at, but touching. You can check out some more photos here, including the full-sized Mr. Herald holding her up like a baby. You know, typical prenatal stuff.

[Telegraph]

Real or fake? An Australian mom tuned out for a second as her stroller, chock full of baby, rolled in front of an oncoming train. The baby survived with just a bump on the head. Holy sh*tness after the jump.

If this is a real thing, thank God the baby survived. I’m pretty sure as a parent, you probably couldn’t rebound from “I stopped paying attention and my baby rolled in front of a train.” Probably the worst thing that could ever happen to you as a parent.

At the same time, if this is real, I would not ever want to cross this baby. He survived A TRAIN ROLLING OVER HIM. I’m pretty confident I could beat up armies of babies if I had to since they’re not very athletic and very squishy, but if I saw this baby in a dark alley I’d probably walk the other way. They say Train Baby is the King of these streets.

Wyoming police say an 11-year-old boy driving a large SUV led officers on a high speed chase reaching speeds of 100 mph.

Bureau of Indian Affairs police say the chase started about 3 a.m. Tuesday near Riverton in central Wyoming and ended about 50 miles away near Crowheart on the Wind River Reservation.

The boy ditched the vehicle and jumped into a lake and began swimming but returned to shore where police collared him.

BIA Special Agent in Charge Charles Addington says that alcohol was involved and that charges were pending in juvenile court.

Now the thing is, I’m sure his parents are terrible…you don’t end up as an 11 year-old acting like Thelma and Louise if they’re keeping a close eye on you and bringing you to soccer practice. But how much can you do when your kid clearly has so much Inner Asshole? Some kids are just born to be white trash dicks. You can’t teach a dog to do calculus. Especially if he’s drunk and getting into high-speed car chases. Probably hard to schedule him for calculus lessons since he’s got such a full schedule.

[Fox News]

Authorities in Ohio said a 16-year-old arrested for drug possession allegedly used a page torn from his Bible as a marijuana cigarette rolling paper.

The Erie County sheriff deputy’s report said the teenager’s mother called authorities at about 11:35 p.m. Tuesday and asked deputies to meet her at a car wash on Ohio 101 in Margaretta Township, the Sandusky (Ohio) Register reported Monday.

The mother told deputies she had seen her son smoking in his room and discovered a small bag of marijuana in his nightstand.

The report said the woman told deputies the boy “was smoking a marijuana cigarette using a page from his Bible.”

Well, that seems like a very functional household. Don’t get me wrong, if the kid’s smoking weed, whatever, that’s not your fault. But to be lighting up Psalms in order to get a worthy high, you might have made a misstep somewhere as a mom. Or if it was the story of Job…seriously, hasn’t that guy been through enough?

[UPI]

The mother of a young girl and boy at the centre of a controversial custody battle pitting her alleged white supremacist ex-husband against Child and Family Services says she has turned her life around and is ready to resume caring for her children.

“If there is a chance that my children could come and live with me … I feel that although I haven’t completed all the (parenting) programs requested, I am a good mother and could do the necessary programs asked of me,” the woman wrote in a letter filed in court last month.

The province seized a now eight-year-old girl and her three-year-old half-brother last year after the girl was sent to school with a swastika and racist writings drawn on her body.

In a final written submission filed in court earlier this month by lawyer Catherine Dunn, the man argued he has a Charter right “to expound and support his white supremacy views.”

“The position of (the man) is that there was never any actual emotional harm suffered by (the children) and no potential harm to (the children),” Dunn wrote.

[The Petersborough Examiner]