Sure phonebook ads are about as modern as being governed by a Pharaoh, but that doesn't mean that they can't provide a useful service. For example, take a look at the important jobs being offered by construction company Westminster Gulf. ...more.

Bugs Bunny and some ancient painting...it's fat cock day here on the blog, hooray! Though it could be said that with me as your editor, every day is fat cock day. It is rather juicy. Where was I? Oh yeah, some Brazilian art restorer found on a centuries-old painting of Priapus, Greek god of fertility, that the painting has a big erect penis which was previously painted over. ...more.

As seen in that infamous rumor that the animators of Who Framed Roger Rabbit? inserted a shot of Jessica Rabbit's cooch in an upskirt moment in the film, animators are known to dabble in perversion. For further proof, you can take a look at Bugs Bunny's big flopping rabbit penis. ...more.

Well, if this is safe-for-work enough for YouTube, it's probably safe enough for me. Here's a video that breaks down the science of intercourse, including an MRI OF HOT SEX ACTION (pictured left). Believe me, if you find anything remotely hot about this, or can make out what's what in this photo, you need to reevaluate. Skip to 1:38 for the money shot, so to speak. ...more.

Paying someone to commit murder for you is a tricky prospect. How do you price haggle? Well here's one gentleman who figured out a way to save money AND lose his penis. Pretty crafty!A man plotted to kill his adoptive parents with the help of a friend he met on the internet, a court has heard.Christopher Monks, 24, wanted Shaun Skarnes to murder his parents Christopher and Elizabeth Monks whi ...more.

Via PartiallyClips comes this look at the needlessness of exploratory surgery....more.

I often masturbate thinking of what the future would be like, with my robot maid and her sassy attitude and skirt that shows off her pleasure chip. She knows what she's doing. But when you look at the world of today, as seen through the eyes of the past, here's what our lives look like.I'm perpetually a bit disappointed in the world we live in today. I still get sick (including at this very ...more.

This case, involving a boy who lost his penis due to being improperly circumcised, is further proof why you should only leave your circumcisions in the hand of a trained Jewish man with a creepy beard. Also, only $1.8 million for a missing penis? Seems a bit low to me.A Fulton County jury has awarded $1.8 million in damages to a boy whose penis was severed in a botched circumcision.The state ...more.

A bachelorette party became either the worst or best one ever when two women were arrested after a police horse got hit by a 5-foot long novelty penis.Wichita police arrested three people on Sunday in an incident that began when a man threw an inflatable penis at an officer's horse.Officers were patrolling the Old Town area on horseback at about 1:20 a.m. when they came across a large group of ...more.

Our friends at Buzzfeed unearthed an AWFUL TERRIBLE AWFUL video of a Japanese show (stunner) featuring a woman with a monstrous mouth. Literally, like a monster. Take a look.It's pretty obvious to make a joke like "I bet she can suck a dick lol" but f that. That would be awful. It may shock you to learn that my penis is not roughly the size of a grenade launcher so I'm pretty sure it'd be ...more.

Via Explosm.net comes this love story of a man and his blender....more.

In an interview with Maxim, Tracy Morgan reveals that his penis is so epic that it warranted a special tattoo. Yeah....more.

BasicInstructions.net provides helpful tips on how to use the vast information at your disposal that most people won't give a f about....more.

Invariably, people are annoyed by their neighbors and how much they suck. But at least you don't have your neighbor doing dick tricks to try to get even with you, like this guy.A man told police he saw something he didn't want to see recently: his neighbor's penis.And he said it wasn't by accident.The 25-year-old told an officer he'd backed out of his driveway and discovered his 40-year-ol ...more.