Many of the children have seen little or no television. They have been essentially home-schooled all their lives. Most were raised on garden-grown vegetables and twice-daily prayers with family. They frolic in long dresses and buttoned-up shirts from another century. They are unfailingly polite.

The 437 children taken from the polygamist compound in West Texas are being scattered to group homes and boys’ and girls’ ranches across the state, plunged into a culture radically different from the community where they and their families shunned the outside world as a hostile, contaminating influence on their godly way of life.

The state Child Protective Services program said it chose foster homes where the youngsters can be kept apart from other children for now.

“We recognize it’s critical that these children not be exposed to mainstream culture too quickly or other things that would hinder their success,” agency spokeswoman Shari Pulliam said. “We just want to protect them from abuse and neglect. We’re not trying to change them.”

Yeah these kids are fed. It’s probably for the best if we just like burn them all alive or send them to Switzerland or something. It’s hard to imagine some of them, especially the older ones, being deprogrammed enough to be contributing members of society. I mean, yeah the girls would make great wives because I could basically treat them like a rabid wolf that I have sex with (and that bakes me delicious Polygamy Pies! Multiple flavors combined into one delicious cakey crust! Get yours now!). Chained up and totally bending to my will. So appealing.

I guess so long as the government doesn’t go with my “burn them alive” strategy, these kids will have a far better deal. I mean, TV alone is probably worth the price of admission. And yeah, if you’re a boy, you’re not going to be the alpha male of the world like you would have been in the sect. But you also don’t have to see your sister get diddled by a 40 year-old wearing an Amish beard and a stupid hat to protect his dumb reddened skin from the sun. So I guess it evens out. Ugh and with all that farming and crap, the guy probably has really meaty knuckles too. And there’s no way he’s just using one finger either; they never just use one…it’s in their Wacky Magic Bible or whatever they call their scripture. Sigh. Dirty dirty polygamists.

Wait polygamists do farm and crap too right? I mean, I know they use electricity, but I assume if you have a huge ass compound, there’s some agriculture going on. Eh, f em.

Agents searching a 1,700-acre polygamist compound in West Texas found a bed in the soaring limestone temple and prosecutors believe it was used for male members to have sex with their underage wives after sect-recognized unions.

The discovery was revealed Wednesday as troopers completed their weeklong search of the grounds of the Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, said spokeswoman Tela Mange.

The temple “contains an area where there is a bed where males over the age of 17 engage in sexual activity with female children under the age of 17,” according to an affidavit quoting a confidential informant who had been providing information to the Schleicher County sheriff for years.

If you didn’t think I’d be all over this one, you’re sadly mistaken. And if you think I don’t have a similar bed in the Chris Compound, well, uh, unless you’re a federal agent, you’re sadly mistaken again!

Additionally, a commenter named “Truth Spreader” left this comment on my last polygamist post. Since I always want to be fair and impartially present all sides of a story, here it is…verbatim:

Smells like they’re burning the witches again. not to mention that it was legal in Utah for 14 yrs old to marry (with parental consent) until about 2 yrs ago when the lesbians, feminists and their enablers got attorney general mark “zeig heil” shurtleff to raise the age.

oppressors always resort to making the religion of their enemies a crime. Isn’t that what happened in babylon under nebachadnezer? weren’t the jews almost exterminated because they refused to worhip the king ahead of god? note: the enemies of the jews had nebachadnezer enact a law requiring that only the king could be worshiped. it was the death penalty to worship god.

if it was okay to marry a 14 year old two years ago then it is okay today–the only thing that has changed is that the lesbians and feminist managed to amend the marriage statute. well…it is time to amend it back.

Well then. You listen here LESBIANS. You stop trying to keep all the underaged girls to yourself, you damn JEW LESBIANS. Going against my right to diddle a girl who still has a Hello Kitty lunchbox is not only unAmerican, it’s totally akin to the Salem witch trials. Only instead of burning people without any burden of proof, you’re arresting people for luring minors into a ring of sex and marriage and using the “proof” of vague things like “their testimony” and “the smell of Lunchables and tears on my genitals”. BACK OFF, LIBERALS!

The scared girl, already a mother at 16, whispered into a cell phone: she wanted out. She’d been forced to marry a man more than three times her age, becoming his seventh wife.

Her husband sexually assaulted her, and when he was angry, he would beat her while other women held her infant, she told a family violence shelter in a series of secret calls that triggered an investigation of the polygamist sect here.

But child welfare officials allege in court documents released Tuesday that the compound built by leaders of the Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints was rife with sexual abuse, with girls spiritually married to much older men as soon as they reached puberty and boys groomed to perpetuate the cycle.

Well, they say if there’s grass on the field, marry it and force it to allow you to play ball all over it while you regularly wander to other fields and play ball there as well, then beat all your fields with phone books and sacks of oranges.

If I were a 1980s comedian, I’d probably say something to the effect of, “I can barely handle my one wife! How can these guys be with four? Seems like four times the amount of someone yelling at me to take out the trash! Am I right? Am I right?” Then I’d snap my suspenders thusly.