Microsoft to debut new ad platform, will probably quickly retire it

Dan Seitz Contributing Writer, Tech

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Hey, do you own a Kinect? Have you ever said “I wish I could use this technology to offer an opinion on advertisements?” No? Well, tough, it’s coming anyway.

Specifically, NUads are coming. Aside from sounding like “nards,” this is what they look like:

Here’s our question: why does Microsoft think this will end in any way other than this quietly being taken out behind the woodshed and shot?

True, we all accept advertising as a fact of life, and TV ads generally allow us to take a break in life and explain certain plot holes. For example, in 24, once you realize Jack Bauer takes a dump during the commercials like the rest of us, the show’s a lot better (and that man must eat a lot of fiber because dude, that’s, like, two minutes).

Microsoft touts advertisers getting “instant feedback,” but who actually wants somebody’s knee-jerk reaction? Especially from a device that can track gestures? That just sounds…unfortunate.

“Well, sir, 40% just left when the ad played, 20% extended the middle digit in the direction of the lens, 25% just stared off into space, and the rest, uh, took out their genitalia and waved it at us.”

Apparently, you’ll be able to vote on these ads this fall. Do us a favor, keep it in your pants when voting.

Kinect NUads Coming [Engadget]