Segway inventor has new gadget that sucks food out of your stomach
The inventor of the Segway has apparently decided the world is not full of enough sickening self-indulgence and screaming horror. So he invented something that sucks food out of your stomach to keep you from getting fat!
Yes, this exists, although man, you are really going to wish it didn’t in about twenty seconds:
The idea is that you vacuum the food out before you digest it, so you can get the pleasure of eating, without absorbing any of the calories. This is real. This actually exists.
I wonder if Dean Kamen, the guy involved in this, was originally planning to send videos of people doing this to people starving to death in Third World countries, because that’s about the only way this could sound more like something a science-fiction author dreamed up to mock American eating habits and vanity.
Although Kamen is probably doing the world a service. If you are such a fat bastard that you need to cut a hole in your stomach and duct-tape a vacuum cleaner to it to suck out the food, you really have to hope that most people, on the verge of doing this, will realize how fundamentally horrible what they’re doing is on just about every conceivable level, put the self-administered gut pump down, and start exercising and eating vegetables. There are people who have genuine psychological problems and medical conditions where this might be useful, of course, but let’s face it, this exists because people are too lazy to do a push-up.
On the other hand, this requires self-reflection and an ability to accept who you are, not what you’re told you should be. In other words, Kamen’s going to sell this thing by the crate.
Aspire Bariatrics [Official Site]