VIDEO: ‘Toirettsu’ is a game you control with your urine… seriously

Matt Hawkins Contributing Writer, Video Games

Once again, the Japanese have demonstrated their vast superiority when it comes to “stuff.” Like their brilliant merging of playing video games and going to the bathroom.

It’s called Toirettsu, and it’s something I’ve mentioned once already. Though some new footage of the game recently popped up, so let’s take another look!

Designed not so much for the arcade but a bar, or any place in which men need to relieve themselves (so theoretically, it can be installed pretty much anywhere), the game itself is essentially a mini game collection. The ones that the internet at least knows includes a fairly straightforward affair: simply see how many mugs you can refill with your own brand of yellow liquid…

Another is essentially tug of war, thought the key to victory is who can shoot the most milk out of one’s nose. One has to wonder if the makers made any kind of connotation between the action being done to play the game, which again is taking a piss, and the color of the liquid on screen, which is white. What am I say; the game is from Japan, of course they do…

I have absolutely no idea what’s going on here, other than when you pee, letters are also released, which the nurse seems to really dig. But not nearly as much as the huge, phallic specimen jar she’s cradling…

Though by far the best one has the strength of your urine flow being reinterpreted as a massive storm that rips the clothes off of some hapless, on the scenes weather reporter…

So yeah, works of genius? Perhaps. Though when you really stop to think about it, they kinda don’t work on a fundamental level. Mostly due to the fact that, well, there’s zero skill in taking a leak.

Not helping is how all you really do is hit a stationary target. Obviously, having it move around, or just asking the player, who will no doubt be drunk, to wave his junk around is perhaps a dumb move. Still, in the case of the tug of war activity, how will that work exactly? Am I the only one who just lets his piss out and doesn’t bother to fiddle with the control of the flow and the such?

Also, are people expected to pay to play these games? Not only is it way too easy, but ends in about 30 seconds (unless someone has serious bladder issues). Then again, once again, this is Japan. The idea of putting down money to play a game while you take piss is about as wacky as a vending machine that dispenses used panties. Actually, it’s not!

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