Dry those tears, buddy. You’ve still got some crying to do. It’s upfronts season, where the TV networks all get together in New York City to talk about their plans for the Fall 2012 season. What that means for the rest of us is that it’s ]]>

Dry those tears, buddy. You’ve still got some crying to do. It’s upfronts season, where the TV networks all get together in New York City to talk about their plans for the Fall 2012 season. What that means for the rest of us is that it’s when we find out what shows are definitively cancelled. Here’s a quick rundown based on industry gossip on what you can expect from each major network.

FOX

Cancelled: Alcatraz, Allen Gregory, Bent, Breaking In, House, The Finder, I Hate My Teenage Daughter, Terra Nova.

The biggest loss here is obviously House, which was one of the network’s strongest performers. Terra Nova is trying to find a new network, but that show is insanely expensive to produce for the ratings it gets, so I wouldn’t expect anybody to bite. Most of the other shows were new and sucked to greater or lesser degree.

On The Bubble: Napoleon Dynamite.

This animated series hasn’t performed as well as FOX would have liked, which isn’t too surprising.

Renewed: American Dad, American Idol, Bones, Family Guy, Fringe, Glee, Hell’s Kitchen, Kitchen Nightmares, New Girl, Raising Hope, The Cleveland Show, The Simpsons, The X-Factor, Touch.

No big surprises here. New Girl overcame a weak start to become one of the funniest shows on TV, and the only other new series on the list is Touch which annoys me to no end but has the “autism mom” demographic locked up.

ABC

Cancelled: Charlie’s Angels, Cougar Town, Desperate Housewives, GCB, Man Up!, Missing, The River, Work It.

Just a really ugly year for ABC, as they shelled out cash for a bunch of shows that tanked hard. Cougar Town is headed to TBS for a final season to put it over the syndication benchmark. The River might have been the absolute worst series of the year, and GCB was doomed from the day they announced it.

On The Bubble: Pan Am.

The period airline drama (one of two Mad Men cash-ins) hasn’t been officially cancelled, but chances of it returning are minimal.

Renewed: America’s Funniest Home Videos, The Bachelor, Castle, Modern Family, Body Of Proof, Dancing With the Stars, Grey’s Anatomy, Happy Endings, Last Man Standing, Once Upon a Time, Private Practice, Revenge, Scandal, Shark Tank, Suburgatory, The Middle.

No big surprises here. Once Upon A Time was one of the network’s few new successes, and everything else is pretty solid. Scandal is atrocious but it just hasn’t had enough time to fail yet.

NBC

Cancelled: Are You There, Chelsea?, Awake, Chuck, Fear Factor, Free Agents, Harry’s Law, Prime Suspect, The Playboy Club, The Firm, The Sing-Off.

Ouch. The biggest load of cancelled shows came from struggling NBC, who dumped almost every new show of the 2011 season. Most were no big loss, but Awake was ambitious, beautifully filmed and critically acclaimed. People were just too stupid to watch it.

On The Bubble: Nothing.

The message here is clear. Deliver or go home.

Renewed: 30 Rock, Community, Grimm, Fashion Star, Law & Order: SVU, Parenthood, Parks & Recreation, The Apprentice, The Biggest Loser, The Office, Rock Center With Brian Williams, Smash, The Voice, Up All Night, Whitney.

After all the fuss about the Thursday night comedies, everything’s coming back. 30 Rock will end with next season, filming 13 episodes including an hour-long finale. Parks & Rec gets a full season, and showrunner Dan Harmon might step down from Community according to the LA Times. The biggest surprise is the renewal of Whitney, which has been struggling.

CBS

Cancelled: A Gifted Man, CSI: Miami, How To Be A Gentleman, NYC 22, Rob!, Unforgettable.

Mostly new shows, pretty much all of them horrible. Rob!, which installed Rob Schneider in a sassy Latino family, was an unmitigated disaster.

On The Bubble: Rules Of Engagement

The network has plugged and unplugged this show from the schedule more times than I can count. It’s passed the syndication benchmark so it could be back or just end forever.

Renewed: CSI, CSI: NY, Criminal Minds, Hawaii 5-0, How I Met Your Mother, Mike & Molly, NCIS, NCIS: LA, Person of Interest, Survivor, The Amazing Race, The Big Bang Theory, The Good Wife, The Mentalist, 2 Broke Girls, Two and A Half Men, Undercover Boss.

Easily the most successful slate of any network, the sad thing is I watch absolutely none of these shows. Not a one of them.

The CW

Cancelled: The Secret Circle, One Tree Hill, Ringer.

Probably the biggest disappointment for the network is the failure of Sarah Michelle Gellar’s return to TV with Ringer. Buffy’s dead, folks.

On The Bubble: Nothing.

There’s less than a dozen shows on the whole network, dudes.

Renewed: Gossip Girl, 90210, Supernatural, The Vampire Diaries, Heart Of Dixie, America’s Next Top Model, Nikita.

This isn’t really a network I watch a lot but what I’ve seen of Nikita has been pretty good. How long has Supernatural been on, anyways? Like a thousand years?

So here’s AnnaLynne McCord dressed up as a Na’vi on the set of 90210. Why? No idea. I just figured that since some of you were fans of AnnaLynne and some of you were fans of Avatar that these photos might have some mass appeal. Myself, I still ]]>

INSERT 'I like the way she handles that' JOKE HERE...

So here’s AnnaLynne McCord dressed up as a Na’vi on the set of 90210. Why? No idea. I just figured that since some of you were fans of AnnaLynne and some of you were fans of Avatar that these photos might have some mass appeal. Myself, I still haven’t even seen Avatar and based on the goofiness of the people I have seen fall in love with the movie I might never see it. I’m quite open to suggestion and I’m afraid that if I did see it I might have to sell my house and start working on building a whole new world to live in, and none of us want to see that happen.

The last couple of days have featured some bikini pictures of AnnaLynne McCord on the set of 90210. And while those were nice (and they were) they suddenly pale in comparison to photos of her castmate Jessica Lowndes in a bikini on the very same set. All I ]]>

Here, let me help you with those...

The last couple of days have featured some bikini pictures of AnnaLynne McCord on the set of 90210. And while those were nice (and they were) they suddenly pale in comparison to photos of her castmate Jessica Lowndes in a bikini on the very same set. All I can say is thank goodness for bikinis or I wouldn’t even know that these two women existed. Well, played Mr. 90210. Well played. (By the way, Jessica Stroup… you need to step it up, girl.)

Yesterday I was reminded that the TV show 90210 was still on the air because someone took photos of AnnaLynne McCord in a bikini on the set of that show. Today we have more proof that the show is still on the air. Oh, and more bikini pictures! ]]>

Poor thing looks like she might catch a cold there...

Yesterday I was reminded that the TV show 90210 was still on the air because someone took photos of AnnaLynne McCord in a bikini on the set of that show. Today we have more proof that the show is still on the air. Oh, and more bikini pictures! Nicely played, producer of that show… I’m still not watching it.