There are no feelings quite as good as getting someone the gift they wanted more than anything this Christmas. The bad news: You didn’t do that. The person in your life wanted the toy in this video, a singing frog plushie reprogrammed to recite one of Adolf Hitler’s speeches.

It’s easy to mock someone for being so wrong when hindsight is always 20/20, but this claim from the New York Times about Adolf Hitler’s rehabilitation after he was released from prison was, well, a bit off.

Obviously we couldn’t include the full story here, but ]]>

It’s easy to mock someone for being so wrong when hindsight is always 20/20, but this claim from the New York Times about Adolf Hitler’s rehabilitation after he was released from prison was, well, a bit off.

Obviously we couldn’t include the full story here, but I have to presume they also expected Hitler to marry a nice Jewish girl, create a well-structured gas company, and grow a rich, full beard.

Worst prediction ever…(Pic) [Hewreck]

Yesterday, when Spain beat Germany to advance to the World Cup final, I said to myself, “How is Hitler going to handle this tragic news?”

It turns out, he takes bad news rather poorly.

The Hitler “Downfall” parodies are amazingly still all the rage with hundreds of them appearing on YouTube so far. But someone went all meta with it, churning out this video of what a Hitler-made parody of the Hitler “Downfall” videos might look like. Wrap your head around that one.

I never really got on the whole Awkward Family Photos bandwagon; wow, you’re telling me eccentric people once took crazy photos? Stop the presses! But sometimes they unearth a real gem, like this little girl who seems very excited about her newest book.

I think we can agree that Adolf Hitler was kind of a meanie (sorry for such harsh language). Well, bad news…you know how we all thought he committed suicide in his bunker? Yeah, might not be true. The skull they found was DNA tested and, spoiler alert, it wasn’t Hitler. ]]>

I think we can agree that Adolf Hitler was kind of a meanie (sorry for such harsh language). Well, bad news…you know how we all thought he committed suicide in his bunker? Yeah, might not be true. The skull they found was DNA tested and, spoiler alert, it wasn’t Hitler.

ADOLF Hitler may not have died in a bunker after fresh research suggests the skull thought to be the tyrant’s was from a woman.

US archaeologist Nick Bellantoni found fragments from the skull believed to be Hitler’s were too thin to be from a male, and suspected it was the remains of a much younger woman, The Sun reports.

“The bone seemed very thin – male bone tends to be more robust. It corresponds to a woman between the ages of 20 and 40,” Dr Bellantoni said.

DNA tests performed in a US laboratory confirmed the remains could not have belonged to the Nazi leader.

The discovery casts doubt on the exact circumstances of Hitler’s death and could force history books to be rewritten.

Looks like Inglourious Basterds may not have been such an outlandish fantasy revenge film as it initially appeared. I look forward to my future children learning about the trials and tribulations of BJ Novak in their social science classes.

In related news, happy Yom Kippur everyone! What better time is there for such news to be revealed? Maybe Mr. Bellantoni wants to also make the day even better for the Jews by telling them that Chinese food isn’t kosher, or that Woody Allen’s real name is Jack Hellerstein. You’re very cruel, sir.

[News.com.au]

Working in some sort of turkey processing plant can’t be the most exciting of jobs (assuming you don’t get off on murdering innocent animals, not that I give a f or won’t eat it, but that’s what the job is ). So you have to make your own fun. Like ]]>

Working in some sort of turkey processing plant can’t be the most exciting of jobs (assuming you don’t get off on murdering innocent animals, not that I give a f or won’t eat it, but that’s what the job is ). So you have to make your own fun. Like giving a Nazi-ish speech to the turkeys.

Pretty cute right! Up until the part when he goes, “Hey, let me cut your head off and bind your arms and legs together.” Yeah, not so cute. But that’s the power of a great, charismatic leader…you go in hoping for the best, believing you’ll be taken to the Promised Land. But instead you just end up jilted, bound with strange objects shoved into your asshole. C’est la vie.

Apparently people are in an uproar over this ad for Turkish tea brand Rasayana featuring a Hitler who’s much more relaxed than you would have thought he’d be given all the yelling and mustache-wearing. Oh and Jewish genociding. That’s a big part of our perception of him too, i’d assume.

Via Dummcomics comes this comic about the interesting lives of little white blond girls and bears.

It may shock you to learn that I’m not a white blond girl. But for all the inherent advantages of being a white blond female like unfettered ]]>

Via Dummcomics comes this comic about the interesting lives of little white blond girls and bears.

It may shock you to learn that I’m not a white blond girl. But for all the inherent advantages of being a white blond female like unfettered access to drinks, an inherent advantage in finding a mate, and a non-stop search crew if you go missing. But at the same time, you’re also way more attractive as a kidnapping victim, you’re probably half-a-retard, and bears will f your crap up. They’ve heard for decades about the awful things that white women do. It’d be like if you were Jewish and ran into Hitler in the grocery store. First you’d be like, “Why the f is Hitler buying Manischewitz?” and then you’d be like, “HEY HITLER, LET’S FIGHT.” Meanwhile Hitler would be all like, “Ach dein leiber,” and run out of the store because he’s just trying to live his life. So yeah, the point…ah yes, the point: blond girls are basically Nazis, so long as you’re a bear. Ask any bear, they’ll fill you in.

I have no clue where this comic is from or what the hell is going on but I think that’s what makes it so beautiful.

I feel like Hitler and Big Bird would have made fast friends. I just never really got the sense that Big ]]>

I have no clue where this comic is from or what the hell is going on but I think that’s what makes it so beautiful.

I feel like Hitler and Big Bird would have made fast friends. I just never really got the sense that Big Bird liked Jews. Maybe not actively, but I bet if he saw a Jewish guy arguing over a price or not leaving a tip, he’d mutter under his breath, “Figures.”

Via SMBC comes this comic which teaches us about the superstitions of Ancient Greeks.

Frankly I don’t think there’s any time in which burying a clown isn’t appropriate. Clowns do so much to torture us each and every day, whether it be spraying ]]>

Via SMBC comes this comic which teaches us about the superstitions of Ancient Greeks.

Frankly I don’t think there’s any time in which burying a clown isn’t appropriate. Clowns do so much to torture us each and every day, whether it be spraying us in the face with flowers attached to their lapel or sodomizing us when we try to hitch a ride in their clown car. Needless to say that if Hitler had a thing for ethnically cleansing people in red noses and floppy shoes, he’d probably have been slightly less reviled.

From the beaches of Miami…

Fergie gets a lot of crap on many of the other celebrity sites, but I think she’s perfectly awesome. She has big boobs and a vagina that functions (perhaps too well since she peed on herself a while ]]>

From the beaches of Miami…

Fergie gets a lot of crap on many of the other celebrity sites, but I think she’s perfectly awesome. She has big boobs and a vagina that functions (perhaps too well since she peed on herself a while back) and I think that buys you a certain cache to do whatever the f and still be perceived as relatively cool. Seriously, I think if Hitler were a smoking hot chick with a big rack, we’d probably all be goose stepping our way around town yucking it up about how Jews are inferior in every way. Or we’d be exterminated. Either way, with Chick Hitler’s killer rack, we could all be content.

I always thought W Magazine was supposed to be somewhat classy but what do I know because they have Gossip Girl’s Blake Lively on the cover (unless she passes for classy with her performance on the show, which would confuse me quite a bit).

Does the ]]>

I always thought W Magazine was supposed to be somewhat classy but what do I know because they have Gossip Girl’s Blake Lively on the cover (unless she passes for classy with her performance on the show, which would confuse me quite a bit).

Does the fact that I’m doing this post just show that today it’s not only a slow time for news, but also a slow time for celebrity women doing attractive things? Yes. It does. I like Blake Lively though, even though the first paragraph above might indicate otherwise. She’s got kind of an old lady face for someone who’s in her early 20s, but she’s also got great boobs and she kind of looks like she’d be a little dirty, so that’s cool. Let’s be honest, if you put a great set of boobs on anything, I’d probably at least strongly consider posting it. You could put well-constructed implants into Hitler’s corpse, along with a steamy bedroom photoshoot and then Hitler’s corpse would be the newest Internet sensation.

Well I guess this is as good a time as any to admit that, yes, I’m in love with Hitler’s corpse. Sure, it began as a curiosity but sometimes love can bloom in even the most desolate soil.

No wonder Adolf Hitler had such a grudge against the Jews: he wanted to be the one acknowledged as THE comedic genius. A new book reveals that Hitler was quite the cut up!

The dictator would often break from the serious nature of ]]>

No wonder Adolf Hitler had such a grudge against the Jews: he wanted to be the one acknowledged as THE comedic genius. A new book reveals that Hitler was quite the cut up!

The dictator would often break from the serious nature of waging his campaign to “pull the legs” of his entourage of generals and hangers on.

His favourite victim was the Luftwaffe chief Herman Goering, who was notoriously fond of awarding himself medals and decorations.

According to the book by the last surviving member of his bunker, Hitler recounted how Mrs Goering found her husband waving a baton over his underwear in the bedroom and asked him what he was doing.

“He replied: “I am promoting my underpants to OVERpants”", Hitler then joked.

Hitler was said to be so proud of his joke that he had medals made from gold and silver paper for Goering to wear on his pyjamas.

On another occasion he noticed his official photographer Heinrich Hoffman had drunk too much and told him: “Don’t stand to near the fire Heini – you might burst into flames.”

Wow. I’m sort of speechless. That underpants joke MIGHT be the greatest thing I’ve ever seen. It’s so awful. Almost charmingly so. Then you remember that he murdered about a quadrillion Jews and it’s like, hmm, that’s slightly less funny. Unless he wore a clown nose while doing it.

Hollywood, I’m begging for an Office-like show with Hitler as the silly boss. SOMEONE out there do it. PLEASE. Or how about Hitler’s Def Comedy Jam? “Have you ever noticed how fat Jews burn more quickly than thin ones. It’s like, ha ha, let’s eat a little less MATZOH eh tubbowitz? HA AM I RITE?!” I don’t ask for much.