Meet Akiva. He’s a little dude in a karate outfit. He also fell into a laundry hamper while trying to grab his shoe and finds himself completely incapable of getting out. He is awesome.

I love how non-plussed Akiva was by the whole situation. He could have ]]>

Meet Akiva. He’s a little dude in a karate outfit. He also fell into a laundry hamper while trying to grab his shoe and finds himself completely incapable of getting out. He is awesome.

I love how non-plussed Akiva was by the whole situation. He could have hung out in there for days if he had to. Started a new life there. Made friends with some socks and hopefully not-too-disgusting used underwear. It’d be like a somewhat disgusting “Be Our Guest” performance. The power of positivity.

Marine Staff Sgt. Jeremy Cooney came home from Afghanistan to see his son, a six-year-old diagnosed with cerebral palsy, able to walk over to him for the first time. This is the video. DUST! DUST EVERYWHERE!

Background via Sgt. Cooney’s wife on Welcome Home ]]>

Marine Staff Sgt. Jeremy Cooney came home from Afghanistan to see his son, a six-year-old diagnosed with cerebral palsy, able to walk over to him for the first time. This is the video. DUST! DUST EVERYWHERE!

Background via Sgt. Cooney’s wife on Welcome Home Blog:

“When my husband left on his deployment, our 6-year-old son could not walk on his own. He has cerebral palsy. Doctors originally said that he would never walk or do much of anything. While daddy was away, he learned to walk. For his homecoming, we set it up for Michael to walk to his daddy for the first time ever! We kept the fact that he could walk a secret the whole time his dad was gone!”

This is a dog attempting to stay awake. But he is incredibly tired. Such is the natural dramatic tension that is nature. Oh, it’s also really f’ing cute. Watch!

“Puppy’s a narcoleptic, always sleeping on Hov,” said an indignant Jay-Z in his new album of dog-based parodies, ]]>

This is a dog attempting to stay awake. But he is incredibly tired. Such is the natural dramatic tension that is nature. Oh, it’s also really f’ing cute. Watch!

“Puppy’s a narcoleptic, always sleeping on Hov,” said an indignant Jay-Z in his new album of dog-based parodies, The Bark Album. Too bad he vowed not to use the word bitch any more after his daughter’s birth.

It’s easy to goof on a video like this because, well, you’ll see when you watch it. But this clip of an old man in a nursing home exploding in happiness when he hears music from his era is just too sweet to mock.

In a time ]]>

It’s easy to goof on a video like this because, well, you’ll see when you watch it. But this clip of an old man in a nursing home exploding in happiness when he hears music from his era is just too sweet to mock.

In a time when all most of us do is whine about the stupidest things and are unappreciative of everything, it’s nice to see something so simple brightening the day of someone whose life, honestly, seems obscenely difficult.

“It’s like Babe: Pig in the City meets Oliver and Company,” says the guy who pitches YouTube videos to movie studios unsuccessfully.

I’ve read before that pigs can make excellent pets if they’re trained correctly and don’t get too big. So seeing this pig play fetch with the dogs is ]]>

“It’s like Babe: Pig in the City meets Oliver and Company,” says the guy who pitches YouTube videos to movie studios unsuccessfully.

I’ve read before that pigs can make excellent pets if they’re trained correctly and don’t get too big. So seeing this pig play fetch with the dogs is a big proof of concept for me. I just hope the dogs never find out that the pig is one step away from Beggin’ Strips. That’d definitely leave them conflicted.

You’ve probably already heard from countless nerds you marginally tolerate that, since it’s March 14th, today is Pi Day. While it literally means nothing, here’s a cute kid making it kind of fun by reciting pi to 50 digits in 10 seconds.

Pretty impressive. Hopefully, as he grows up, his ]]>

You’ve probably already heard from countless nerds you marginally tolerate that, since it’s March 14th, today is Pi Day. While it literally means nothing, here’s a cute kid making it kind of fun by reciting pi to 50 digits in 10 seconds.

Pretty impressive. Hopefully, as he grows up, his commitment to achievements coming in under 10 seconds extends to only this and competitive games of Frogger.

A couple of penguins named Pete and Penny flew on a Delta flight going from Atlanta to New York to do some PR work for their new Discover Channel documentary series Frozen Planet. Somehow, they ended up flying in the cabin of the plane. AND IT IS ]]>

A couple of penguins named Pete and Penny flew on a Delta flight going from Atlanta to New York to do some PR work for their new Discover Channel documentary series Frozen Planet. Somehow, they ended up flying in the cabin of the plane. AND IT IS ADORABLE.

I would not be mad in the slightest if Samuel L. Jackson saw this and made Penguins on a Plane as a sequel to Snakes on a Plane. Only, instead of having to kill them to save the plane, he just sits on the floor and scratches them under their chins and goes, “Aww, ain’t y’all some cute mofuckas.” Two hours well spent, I’d say.

Things are about to get all dusty in here. You’ve seen a lot of videos of dogs welcoming soldiers home. But how about an adorable little girl getting surprised by her soldier dad, returning from Afghanistan, during show and tell at her school (on her birthday, no less)? ]]>

Things are about to get all dusty in here. You’ve seen a lot of videos of dogs welcoming soldiers home. But how about an adorable little girl getting surprised by her soldier dad, returning from Afghanistan, during show and tell at her school (on her birthday, no less)? Must see.

Almost enough to make me want a kid of my own. Or at least a really solid talking doll. Not one of the peeing ones, though. That’s just creepy.

Your Morning Cry: Dad Comes Home From Afghanistan and Surprises His Daughter on Her Birthday [Jezebel]

A bear waving at people and not eating them? Is life becoming more like a cartoon? I’d really like to believe so. In this clip, an adorable and amicable bear (who’d still probably eat you) waves at people in a car. And it is too freaking awesome.

My favorite ]]>

A bear waving at people and not eating them? Is life becoming more like a cartoon? I’d really like to believe so. In this clip, an adorable and amicable bear (who’d still probably eat you) waves at people in a car. And it is too freaking awesome.

My favorite part of this video existing is the YouTube uploader’s response to a question about why not that many people have seen this clip:

Shame on you, Internet society. Note to self: Google ‘Waving Bears’ daily as part of morning ritual. I don’t drink coffee, so I’ve got room on my schedule.

Awwwwwre You Kidding Me With This of the Day [The Daily What]

This song may not be your cup of tea (or even that great if it is). But Marine Corps Master Sgt. Robert Allen, stationed in Afghanistan, put his heart into this song for his wife and that’s reason enough to check it out.

In related news, I’m writing a ]]>

This song may not be your cup of tea (or even that great if it is). But Marine Corps Master Sgt. Robert Allen, stationed in Afghanistan, put his heart into this song for his wife and that’s reason enough to check it out.

In related news, I’m writing a similar song to my girlfriend to apologize for my being home for the holidays. It’s the least I can do for her having to date me.

Marine Writes Christmas Love Song For His Wife [Buzzfeed]

I know everyone lost their minds over that dude rapping about breakfast last week (our take in the Guyism offices: Meh). But here’s someone more deserving. This is Khaliyl, a two-year-old, and he has an amazing flow for someone who, you know, can’t talk.

Here’s how ]]>

I know everyone lost their minds over that dude rapping about breakfast last week (our take in the Guyism offices: Meh). But here’s someone more deserving. This is Khaliyl, a two-year-old, and he has an amazing flow for someone who, you know, can’t talk.

Here’s how I envision my first hit single with that little kid going.

*BOMB SOUND EFFECT!* RUN THAT BEAT BACK RUN THAT BEAT BACK “GOOGY A RA RA TEE WAH NE WAH TA.” UH HUH YEAH “WIGY WA WAH EEE OO PA DA”

And so on, and so forth. I am not above exploiting a child for my first hit single and a career as the Usher of indecipherable little kid rap. Not even remotely above it.

This little girl is adorable in her prank to scare her father by leaping out at him when he opens the closet. But still, kids have been kicked in the face for far less.

This girl has the potential to destroy all of mankind when she gets older. At ]]>

This little girl is adorable in her prank to scare her father by leaping out at him when he opens the closet. But still, kids have been kicked in the face for far less.

This girl has the potential to destroy all of mankind when she gets older. At age four, she’s frightening grown men and then apologizing adorably enough to make her dad forget about it within seconds? Who knows what limits her powers will reach? All I’m saying is don’t be shocked when we’re erecting statues to this girl and chained up, pushing carts into mines for reasons not entirely clear to us in 14 years.

Four Year Old Girl Scares Her Dad [Viral Viral Videos]

Technology does a lot to make our lives easier; for example, I was just able to mindlessly browse hundreds of amateur photos of Bibi Jones thanks to the wonders of Twitter. But it’s also good for useful things, like this video of a military dad reading to his ]]>

Technology does a lot to make our lives easier; for example, I was just able to mindlessly browse hundreds of amateur photos of Bibi Jones thanks to the wonders of Twitter. But it’s also good for useful things, like this video of a military dad reading to his daughter via a prerecorded video.

I’m definitely not hating you if you just felt it get a little dusty in the room. Just think: Even five years ago, the best this dad could have done for his daughter was call her and read the story to her. You know how much gets lost in a reading of Farmer Mickey without the pictures? It’s only 1/10th of the emotional rollercoaster it is in this clip.

Spoiler alert: In the end of the book, Mickey gets squeezed out by a farming consortium and hangs himself in his barn. A kid’s got to learn about Big Agriculture at some point in her life.

PRE-RECORDED DAD READS BED TIME STORY TO DAUGHTER [Stuff I Stole from the Internet]

Sometimes, even as men, I think you need to see things like this to avoid letting the cynicism of the world totally taking you over. In this clip, two really cute kids talk about being in love and plan their future together. And it’s goddamn sweet.

According to the maker of the video, the kids, Levi and Jasmine, have known each other and been close friends since they were four.

Is it wrong that I’m jealous of what these two kids have? My life of chasing down and occasionally waking up in bed with random girls is occasionally delightful (and sometimes like playing a genitalia-based game of Russian Roulette) but these two are rock solid. I don’t know how it reflects on me two look at two prepubescents as relationship aspirations, but I’m going with it anyway. This video will be new daily affirmation.

Adorable Children Plan Their Future [Buzzfeed]

When you think of love, marriage, and all of the interpersonal magic in between, what’s the first thing that comes to mind? The Vin Diesel/Paul Walker opus “Fast and the Furious”, of course. So some guy named Matt used a screening of “Fast Five” to propose to his lady, Ginny, ]]>

When you think of love, marriage, and all of the interpersonal magic in between, what’s the first thing that comes to mind? The Vin Diesel/Paul Walker opus “Fast and the Furious”, of course. So some guy named Matt used a screening of “Fast Five” to propose to his lady, Ginny, with a self-made trailer of himself asking her father to marry him. The result is adorable.

That’s adorable and sweet and I certainly hope that, one day, my icy heart would make me feel so strongly about a woman that I’d be able to do something as thorough and touching at this.

At the same time, tethering this proposal to “Fast Five” seems like an odd fit. Was there no showing of “Last House on the Left” or a snuff film to show the trailer before? The audience clapped and cheered, but I imagine they’d have had the same reaction if he planted a bomb in her uterus, made a witty aside, then jumped away in slow motion while aided by a nitrous boost.

Public Proposal of the Day [The Daily What]

In this video, a little dude named Elliott gets a kiss on the lips from his equally adorable neighbor, Bowie. Let there be no doubt: This little man is pimpin’.

It seems like Elliott is innocent and all. But look at this screencap:

Play innocent ]]>

In this video, a little dude named Elliott gets a kiss on the lips from his equally adorable neighbor, Bowie. Let there be no doubt: This little man is pimpin’.

It seems like Elliott is innocent and all. But look at this screencap:

Play innocent all you want, Elliott, but I know that look. I made that look. I pull it all the time. That said, I could stand to learn from his jubilant fist pumps and bragging to everyone, though. My strategy of following up that first kiss with telling them you love them while sniffing their hair is clearly not working for me.

Also, props have to go to this little Bowie girl too, though I’m not sure we can say that was her first kiss. She pulled him in like a pro. If the clip were a little longer, there’d probably be some ear-biting and hair pulling. All sorts of female empowerment and girl power going on there.

OMG! Adorbz of the Day [The Daily What]

I miss being a kid, mostly because bills suck and I miss the gentle caress of someone else wiping my behind. But there’s also the fact that this 8-month-old baby boy gets such a massive kick out of paper being ripped that how could you not wish joy came that ]]>

I miss being a kid, mostly because bills suck and I miss the gentle caress of someone else wiping my behind. But there’s also the fact that this 8-month-old baby boy gets such a massive kick out of paper being ripped that how could you not wish joy came that easily as an adult?

At the same time, man, babies are dumb. Did you know that people have been to the moon, baby? Or that people wield the power of a computer that needed to be the size of a skyscraper a mere twenty years ago in their cell phones? Of course not. You’re just there, burping and farting, yukking it up with your ripped paper. The weight of the world hasn’t hit you yet. But when it does, kid, watch out.

Enjoy the paper, young man. *scowls

Oh Man, This Dude Has No Idea [Videogum]

I believe this clip is from the Ukraine or, at the very least a Ukraine station. But either way, it’s noteworthy due to the fact that this kid is the smoothest mo-fo since that little casanova who coerced that cheerleader into kissing him.

He’s got a more ]]>

I believe this clip is from the Ukraine or, at the very least a Ukraine station. But either way, it’s noteworthy due to the fact that this kid is the smoothest mo-fo since that little casanova who coerced that cheerleader into kissing him.

He’s got a more advanced moveset than most men twice his age. And he celebrates the same way I still do after making out with a girl. Chicks really respect it when you jump up in the air repeatedly and twirl around. Makes them really feel special. And allows me my dancin’ time. Win win.

I am both amused by and tremendously respect the single womanhood of this five-year-old girl. She’s like the “Kidz Bop” embodiment of every song Beyonce has ever created.

All these hopes and dreams are cute and all, but sometimes you just can’t resist Roman Polanski’s charms.

I am both amused by and tremendously respect the single womanhood of this five-year-old girl. She’s like the “Kidz Bop” embodiment of every song Beyonce has ever created.

Dramatic Little Girl: I Won’t Get Married Until I Have A Job [Viral Viral Videos]

It’s Monday morning and stress levels are always high. So I’m thankful I came across this video of a puppy named Iso being bathed in slow motion set to the soulful and melodic “The Way I Am” by Ingrid Michaelson. The world just makes sense after you watch it.