This first one, well, here’s what the description says… Teleflora’s 2012 Super Bowl commercial starring Adriana Lima is both romantic and alluring; with the gorgeous Lima taking center stage as she prepares for a special Valentine’s Day date.

What it should say is, “Watch Adriana Lima in sexy lingerie putting on stockings.” That alone will get you to watch.

This second one is for Kia and features Adriana in a bikini, waving a checkered flag… for 5 hours. I shit you not.

You’re still watching, aren’t you?

Here’s something completely different: Adriana Lima doing a bikini photo shoot in St. Barts. What’s different? These are BEFORE all the touch-ups happen. Not that she needs any. Damn. Seriously, is there any point in taking these photos and doctoring them up for publication? I wonder if any bikini company has ever released an ad or a catalog with non-doctored photos. That would be revolutionary. It would also require having all your models look like Adriana. Maybe that’s why it’s never been done.

I am liking how 2012 is shaping up to be much like 2011 (and 2010 for that matter) when it comes to how much work Candice Swanepoel is getting from Victoria’s Secret. And with Alessandra and Lily now on the shelf with pregnancies maybe we’ll get to see even more of her. That’s a good thing. Of course, it doesn’t hurt that The Company is in full Valentine’s Day mode. The videos actually feature more than just Candice, as you will see, with Adriana Lima, Miranda Kerr, Lily, Edita Vilkeviciute, and a new girl named Michaela Kocionova. Giggity.

Tis the season to be jolly, indeed...

Well, look at what Santa was nice enough to bring us for Christmas/Hanukkah/Kwanzaa? Doutzen Kroes, Lindsay Ellingson, and Adriana Lima in Victoria’s Secret lingerie! Plus he threw in that nice little bonus picture you see above with Miranda Kerr and Lais Ribeiro? Oh, Santa, you shouldn’t have! And wow, Lindsay even brought her armbra?! This truly is the season of giving.

Since our sports editor just used the words “Moves Like Jagger” to describe a football player I thought it was only appropriate to share this video of all (and I mean all) of the big name Victoria’s Secret models lip synching the song “Moves Like Jagger.” Make sense? Oh yes. (By the way, he had no idea this video existed when he wrote that title to his sports video. It’s just a special kind of synergy we have here at Guyism.)

In case you are scoring at home, that was Alessandra Ambrosio, Adriana Lima, Anne Vyalitsyna, Behati Prinsloo, Candice Swanepoel, Doutzen Kroes, Erin Heatherton, Lily Aldridge, Lindsay Ellingson, and Miranda Kerr working their special brand of magic to the Maroon 5 song, which the band will be performing on the show tonight, November 29, 10/9c, on CBS. (You wrote that down, right?)

The 2011 Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show airs next week on Tuesday, November 29 on CBS, so I’ve prepared this preview to make sure that you are properly prepared for one of our favorite nights of the entire year.

But first, a video…

In case you are scoring at home that was Adriana Lima, Candice Swanepoel, Erin Heatherton, Lais Ribeiro and Lindsay Ellingson. Not in the video were Alessandra Ambrosio, Doutzen Kroes, Miranda Kerr, Lily Aldridge, and others, but we’ll get to them here shortly.

And now, a behind the scenes look at the commercial you just viewed (i.e. more babes in bras)…

The ladies who have been officially announced as appearing on the show as Angels are Adriana, Alessandra, Candice, Doutzen, Erin, Lily, Lindsay, and Miranda. Here’s a small gallery showing you some of what you’ll be seeing from the girls.

Next we have a video of how they cast the show and picked which models will be joining the legends we just mentioned.

Miranda will be wearing the annual Fantasy Bra worth $2.5 million.

One lucky model will be wearing a new bra, the PINK light-up bra.

Performing on this year’s show will be Kanye West, Maroon 5, Cee Lo Green, and Nicki Minaj.

For our coverage of the 2010 and 2009 Fashion Shows, click here.

And finally, in the interest of making sure you know who each model is as she makes her way down the runway throughout the evening and that you are fully versed on how they look in Victoria’s Secret lingerie, a comprehensive list of every Victoria’s Secret model we’ve covered in the last year or so appears below. Unfortunately not all of these women will appear on the show, but it’s still a great starting point in your preparation. (Hint: If you click on a model’s photo, you get to see more photos!)

Adriana Lima

Alessandra Ambrosio

Ana Beatriz Barros

Candice Swanepoel

Caroline Francischini

Chanel Iman

Cintia Dicker

Doutzen Kroes

Edita Vilkeviciute

Emily DiDonato

Erin Heatherton

Ginta Lapina

Isabeli Fontana

Jessica Hart

Kate Upton

Lais Ribeiro

Lily Aldridge

Lindsay Ellingson

Magdalena Frackowiak

Marisa Miller

Marloes Horst

Maryna Linchuk

Miranda Kerr

Rosie Huntington-Whiteley

Wow... just wow...

Adriana Lima… what can one say? She’s arguably the sexiest Victoria’s Secret model on the planet (though Candice Swanepoel may have something to say about that). The fact that she treats the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show like she’s a mixed martial artist preparing for a weigh-in somehow makes her even cooler (note to girls: don’t try her diet secrets at home). As I sit here I can imagine her sparring in the ring, hitting the heavy bag, doing crunches, rapidly skipping rope, pretty much your standard fantasies when it comes to supermodels, right? No? Just me? Oh…

I really need to get tickets to this next year...

The Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show took place last night, but you’ll have to wait until later this month to be able to see it on TV. That doesn’t mean you have to be totally in the dark though as we have a few snaps to help get you ready for this fantastic viewer experience.

The usual faces were on stage: Adriana Lima, Miranda Kerr, Alessandra Ambrosio, Lindsay Ellingson, Emanuela De Paula, Behati Prinsloo, Erin Heatherton, Lily Aldridge, Izabel Goulart, Doutzen Kroes, and Chanel Iman. But there were also a few other names strutting their stuff that may you not be as familiar with when you think of Victoria’s Secret such as Anne V, Lais Ribeiro, Lily Donaldson, Anja Rubik, Karlie Kloss, and Tori Garrn. And those were just models we had pics of. There were actually many more. Quite epic indeed.

We’ll be back with a more “in-depth” preview of the show as we get closer to air date. Stay tuned.

-Lima sees her personal nutritionist who has records of her body’s muscle mass, fat ratio, and levels of water retention.
-The nutritionist then prescribes protein shakes, vitamins, and supplements to help keep Lima from crashing during her training period. She also takes in a gallon of water a day.
-For the nine days before the big Victoria’s Secret show, Lima will only drink protein shakes which have a primary base of powdered eggs. She’s barred from eating solid foods.
-Two days before the show, Lima stops the gallon of water each day and drinks based solely upon need.
-Twelve hours before the show, Lima cuts off all liquid intake to lean out.

Female-centric outlets like The Gloss are outraged, saying, “When an actual female must abstain from the bloating effects of water to conform to that standard, one should do well to dismiss it entirely.”

Lima’s process is depressing and obviously beyond the capabilities of most of us mere mortals. But is it that different from what male bodybuilders do to lean-out before a competition? If anything, we should be looking at these women like the finely tuned performance-focused athletes they are.

Or just acknowledge that any event that treats a human like a contestant in a dog show (in skimpy clothing!) isn’t ideal for their health or society, regardless of gender.

So tell me, is there anything you would not do for this woman?

Victoria’s Secret is back at it again, putting Lily Aldridge, Adriana Lima, Chanel Iman, and Marloes Horst to work posing in some of their sexywear. The lingerie pics are nice (as always), but personally I am enjoying the NFL-themed outfits Marloes is wearing. Which do you like best? Why is that we, as men, get so excited seeing women wearing sports gear? If a woman shows even the slightest interest in sports or has an ounce of athleticism they automatically get bumped up a notch on the old ranking chart. Even if they are pretending to like sports, like Marloes here, it suddenly makes her that much more attractive. Why is that? Surely a study has been done, and if not, someone needs to get on that.

Awww shit, she spotted me...

What is there left to say about Victoria’s Secret supermodel Adriana Lima? She’s arguably the sexiest sports WAG on the planet? She’s arguably the sexiest mom on the planet? She’s arguably the sexiest model on the planet? She’s arguably the sexiest woman on the planet? Seriously, what else is there to say? Marko Jaric must be some kind of superman; that’s about all I have left to say at this point.

Just last month, Kelly was at Yankees stadium when Jeter got his 3000th hit. She even shed some tears at the historic moment.

Unless things went south in a hurry, I’ll just go ahead and applaud Kelly’s incredible ability to produce fake tears on the fly. Undoubtedly, a star actress in the making.

As for Jeter, he’ll no doubt recover quickly from this “devastating” split. His rolodex of lovely ladies is filled with some of the best Hollywood has to offer.

PHOTOS: Six Degrees of Derek Jeter

Jessica Biel, Jessica Alba, Scarlett Johansson, Mariah Carey, Jordana Brewester, Adriana Lima, Rachel Uchitel, Vanessa Minnillo, and a whole host of D-list celebs (Tyra Banks, Vida Guerra) that aren’t even worthy of making the list.

This is the type of cloning scientists really need to be working on...

Here’s a good one: Victoria’s Secret put several of the sexiest women on the planet in a new bra and decided to call the collection “The Showstopper.” Well, duh. Hell, I could put Erin Heatherton, Adriana Lima, and Candice Swanepoel in cardboard dresses and take them out in public and they’d stop whatever the f*ck was going on around them. I swear, Victoria’s Secret marketing people must have the easiest frickin’ job in the world.

Kim Kardashian’s star-studded wedding guest list
“Will Smith and Jada will be guests, and of course Ryan Seacrest and Eva Longoria.”

Jennifer Aniston, Brad Pitt divorce exposed in a new tell all book
“Jennifer filed for divorce in 2005 from Pitt because of a confession from him after her many attempts to find out the truth.”

Charlie Sheen: “I think Ashton’s gonna kill it’
“It’ll be nice to know that they get some carryover ratings from people being sorta curious about what happened to their guy.”

“Watch The Throne” hits #1 in 23 countries on iTunes
“With Jay-Z and Kanye, they’re so iconic that it’s not going to make a difference what they decided to do; people are gonna want it.”

New pics from World War Z, Bryan Cranston joins cast
“Breaking Bad’s Bryan Cranston [will] have a ‘small but flashy’ role in the film.”

Dirty Dancing remake in the works
“High School Musical director Kenny Ortega has announced that he will direct a remake of the classic film, which starred [Patrick] Swayze and Jennifer Grey.”

Teen Mom star Jenelle Evans arrested for violating probation – again
“Evans’ lawyer, Dustin Sullivan, tells RadarOnline.com that Evans tested positive for marijuana and opiates.”

Buy Anna Nicole Smith’s former mansion for $1.75 million
“…the late model and actress’ five-bedroom decked-out abode features a sprawling outdoor deck, pool, and spa that offers panoramic views of Los Angeles.”

Chris Bosh — I didn’t torpedo my ex’s TV career
“Bosh’s ex Allison Mathis claims she had brokered a $250,000 deal with [Basketball Wives] producers to appear on the show — but Bosh threatened to sue if that happened…”

Bravo’s Andy Cohen receives seven figures for memoir
“One thing he won’t call it, he says: Stories Sarah Jessica Told Me.”

TODAY’S VIDEO
Candice Swanepoel, Erin Heatherton, and Adriana Lima behind the scenes for Victoria’s Secret.

If you need some help with that button, I'd be more than happy to take a look...

For some reason the latest batches of Victoria’s Secret photos feature their models wearing other things in addition to the usual bras and panties. Take these pics of Alessandra Ambrosio, Candice Swanepoel, and Adriana Lima, for example. I’m all for The Company trying to expand their product line… actually no I’m not, we want more bras and panties, enough with these “clothes” already.

I guess leopard-print bras really never do go out of style, do they?

I’m not sure I like this recent trend of seeing supermodels like Adriana Lima and Alessandra Ambrosio in clothing other than bras and panties for some recent Victoria’s Secret photo shoots, but at least they have been good enough to mix in some lingerie and see-through outfits so it’s not a complete loss. Then again, when the alternative to looking at these rather tame photos of Adriana is, well, working, who am I to complain? Amiright?

Your lesbian fantasy begins... now...

Adriana Lima got together with a couple of her close Victoria’s Secret buddies, Erin Heatherton and Candice Swanepoel, for one of the best pictures of the year. Oh the imagination just runs wild with that photo above, doesn’t it? Imagine being there on the day of shooting. Seeing the three of them standing around in just their underpants with no tops on, then the photographer telling them to get close… closer… as he snaps some photos of the three of them do their modeling thing … … … … … … … … … What was I talking about again? Oh yeah… God bless you Victoria’s Secret, you’ve done it again.

Warning: Proceed with caution...

Several of the usual sexy suspects are included in these new photo shoots for Victoria’s Secret including Erin Heatherton, Candice Swanepoel, Adriana Lima, and Lily Aldridge. And if you make it through all 80 without your head exploding then you’re a better man than I. Heck, if you get through all of the photos of just Candice without having a brain hemorrhage from all the sexiness you’re tougher than me. I’m writing this from a medical center right now as we speak. And I only have the use of my left hand. Pray for me.

That is one hell of a bra right there...

I’ve posted so many pics of Adriana Lima and Alessandra Ambrosio in sexy lingerie for Victoria’s Secret I’ve run out of words to describe them. So I leave it up to you. Assuming you actually read what I write here (a stretch, I know) I ask you to tell me in the comments what word best describes these two ladies. Let me help get things rolling: Stunning, sexy, amazing, ridiculous, awesome, luscious… okay, now your turn…

I would totally lose a staring contest with Candice...

Victoria’s Secret’s triumvirate of tastiness, Candice Swanepoel, Alessandra Ambrosio, and Adriana Lima, are back with some new pictures I think you’ll enjoy. I wonder what the breakdown is on the number of men who view Victoria’s Secret’s Web site, catalogs, and all their pictures versus the number of women who do? I would think men would outnumber women because frankly, if I were a woman, looking at these pictures would just depress the hell out of me. Thank you God for making me a man (at least in this case).