With news this week that Justin Timberlake is returning to music as a film composer we figured it would be a good time to take a look a back at his alleged sexual history and see how he compares to the other legendary swordsmen we’ve chronicled.

Los Angeles certainly has its fair share of celeb sports fans. But when it comes to the Kings, none are as loyal as season ticket holder Alyssa Milano. The NHL has rewarded her loyalty by giving her control of their Twitter account for tonight’s matchup with ]]>

Los Angeles certainly has its fair share of celeb sports fans. But when it comes to the Kings, none are as loyal as season ticket holder Alyssa Milano. The NHL has rewarded her loyalty by giving her control of their Twitter account for tonight’s matchup with the Coyotes. A somewhat shrewd move by the league known to be a step ahead in terms of social media. Milano will be tweeting from her seats, presumably with hubby David Bugliari in tow.

The Kings lead the series 2-0 and look poised to make their first Stanley Cup appearance since 1993. Oh, and just a reminder, they’re the 8 seed and weren’t expected to make the playoffs until a spectacular March run.

Every rock star thinks he can act and every actor thinks he should be a rock star. It makes a certain kind of sense – both require creativity and a hint of talent, or at least the ability to bullshit people into believing that ]]>

Every rock star thinks he can act and every actor thinks he should be a rock star. It makes a certain kind of sense – both require creativity and a hint of talent, or at least the ability to bullshit people into believing that you are creative or have a hint of talent, which is kind of a talent in itself. Occasionally – very occasionally – this fusion results in something good, or, at the very least, interesting. Most of the time, though, whenever an actor gets it in his head that he should be a rock star, the results are absolutely terrible. If you make it to the end of this list without slitting your wrists or stabbing your eardrum with an icepick, well, just imagine what it was like to write this. I listened to some of these songs multiple times. After all, I’m a professional. Anyway, without further ado, here are 15 actors who tried to sing. May God or Buddha or Patrick Swayze or whoever have mercy on them.

15 Russell Crowe
When Russell Crowe isn’t acting or throwing telephones at hotel clerks he spends his time pretending he’s a cheesy rock star, as evidenced by this lame video. It’s grainy and shitty looking so you know it’s authentic, just like Russell’s voice. I kind of wish Commodus would have won now.

14 Kevin Bacon
Yes, Kevin Bacon sings in a band with his brother, creatively named The Bacon Brothers. I’ve gotta be honest with you, I just listened to this song two or three times in a row trying to come up with something interesting to say about it and now all I want to do is burn down a bar. Oh, and also set my ears on fire.

13 Jamie Foxx
It’s not really surprising that Jamie Foxx would see himself as a musician given his performance in the movie Ray, and to his credit he manages to sing just like every other R & B singer who’s tried to sing in the last twenty years. Seriously, listen to this without actually watching the video and tell me that it’s Jamie Foxx and not one of a million other dudes. Also, DJ, just play that goddamn love song already so Jamie will shut up.

12 Jennifer Love Hewitt
Poor Jennifer Love Hewitt just wants to know how to deal. I want to know how to deal with the fact this goddamn song is stuck in my head. Honestly, it’s not awful for what it is. I’m just saying, I’ve heard worse. Don’t judge me! Also, she dances around in a tank-top which should have at least won her a Grammy nomination. After all, I understand that’s how Mother Teresa won the Noble Peace Prize.

11 Steven Seagal
Jesus Christ. Look, I’m a writer but sometimes words fail. Just watch and… listen. I do wonder how many of those backup singers he sexually harassed. I’m guessing somewhere between all of them and… all of them.

10 Bruce Willis
This is why people think that everyone was on cocaine in the ‘80s. I’m not saying that Bruce Willis was doing coke, but somebody had to have been to get this thing made, right? If this was the price we all had to pay in order to get Die Hard made then… well, I like John McClane as much as the next dude but some things just aren’t worth it.

9 Scarlett Johansson
Hey, Scarlett Johansson covers Tom Waits. Why not? What a world. Next, we’ll have Vanessa Hudgens singing a duet with Bob Dylan or something. Oh shit, I just gave someone a terrible idea.

8 Don Johnson
Oh man, check this shit out. Remember what I said about everyone being on coke in the ‘80s? Yeah. To his credit, Don does start out the song by saying “I don’t care what you say.” Touche, Crockett. Touche. I assume Tubbs’ album went straight to number one in, like, Angola.

7 Alyssa Milano
Alyssa Milano sounds like the female version of Dirk Diggler singing in Boogie Nights. Then again, the part where she just sings “La la la, la la la” over and over again is damn near poetry. Couldn’t Tony Danza have done something about this?

6 Eddie Murphy
Cocaine, ‘80s, etc. The best part of this video is, of course, the immortal Rick James pretending he’s a responsible producer and not just a maniac high off his ass. And then, of course, by the time the video is over, Rick damn near shoves Eddie out of the picture and takes the whole damn thing over. An awe-inspiring performance really. I can’t watch this without imagining Charlie Murphy hanging around the set and wondering what he and Rick got into during filming. Also, after seeing this, how did people not immediately guess what would happen to Eddie Murphy’s career?

5 Patrick Swayze
Like the man wasn’t already great enough. You geeks can have Chuck Norris. Patrick Swayze is my hero. RIP, sweet prince. I’m just going to sit here and enjoy this video. Oh man, dig that sax solo.

4 David Hasselhoff
You’ve all heard the jokes, now listen to the reality, which somehow makes the jokes seem understated. This is just… this is… look, I can’t explain this. I know it’s my job here but you might as well ask me to explain calculus to an orangutan. That would be easier. Just take it all in and if you need to pour acid into your ear canal afterward, I understand.

[Embedding disabled - thank you - but click the pic if you must see the video]

3 William Shatner
Nobody rides that line between weird and cool like William Shatner and nothing hammers that point home more than Shatner singing “Rocket Man.” Shatner doesn’t so much sing as he just reaches into the soul of the music and strangles the shit out of it. This is the Shatner everyone does impressions of – including Shatner these days. You could mock this, or you could just sit back and marvel at it, which is what I choose to do. Do the right thing.

2 Joe Pesci
Here’s Joe Pesci rapping. Yeah. You will watch this 10 times today. I promise. Nothing more needs to be said, right?

1 Leonard Nimoy
Leonard Nimoy is cooler than you, me and everyone we collectively know. If a duet involving Nimoy and Shatner ever got out, the world would probably cave in on itself because what would be the point of even going on any further as a species? That would be the high point.

Celebrity gossip items you may have missed this week…

— Olivia Munn is now dating that guy from Glee. In other news, that guy from Glee is apparently not gay.

— Mariah Carey’s sister is a hooker. Sort of.

—

— Olivia Munn is now dating that guy from Glee. In other news, that guy from Glee is apparently not gay.

— Mariah Carey’s sister is a hooker. Sort of.

— Christina Aguilera had sex in a bathroom. She should totally hook up with Charlie Sheen and compare career plans.

— Did Pete Wentz have a prescription drug addiction that ultimately led to Ashlee Simpson filing for divorce? Sure, why not.

— Reports indicate that Lindsay Lohan may be looking at six months in jail for her latest escapade. If that actually happens I will run naked down Sunset Boulevard.

— I feel pretty safe in that bet because if THIS didn’t land Chris Brown in jail there’s no way LiLo serves any time.

— WARNING: DO NOT f*ck with Catherine Zeta-Jones.

— At least Lindsay isn’t getting turned away from parties now. What’s that?

— Chad Ochocinco was banging his DWTS partner Cheryl Burke while the two were paired up.

— Speaking of Rihanna, apparently Colin Farrell is the luckiest man on earth at the moment.

— George Clooney says he’s banged too many chicks, smoked too much weed to run for office. Frankly I think those are the reasons he SHOULD run for office.

— Cameron Diaz is a big fan of porn. Just in case you were wondering.

— Alyssa Milano is really pregnant. I just had to see it to believe it.

— Kanye West’s thoughts on abortion are, um, interesting?

— In news of the crazy, Irina Shayk was getting complaints about not having curtains in her apartment. Yes, because who wants to see what Irina Shayk does in the privacy of her home anyway?

— And in terribly sad news, Irina Shayk apparently doesn’t regularly shave her legs. Click at your own peril.

— And finally, Glee’s Brittany and Santana are set to do more lesbian scenes. I may have to watch that show after all.

This week’s sexy video comes to us from Emporio Armani who still thinks Megan Fox is marketable when used properly. And oh boy did they ever use her properly.

So did you have a fun Halloween? These ladies did. And after counting the ballots (mine) Brooke Burke won this year’s costume contest with her ridiculously tight black cat suit. Rowrrr… Also participating this year (in order below) were Tara Reid (Natch.), Molly Sims, Kim Kardashian, Kate Beckinsale, Eva LaRue, ]]>

Trick or treat? Either is fine, thankyouverymuch...

So did you have a fun Halloween? These ladies did. And after counting the ballots (mine) Brooke Burke won this year’s costume contest with her ridiculously tight black cat suit. Rowrrr… Also participating this year (in order below) were Tara Reid (Natch.), Molly Sims, Kim Kardashian, Kate Beckinsale, Eva LaRue, Stacy Keibler , Jenni ‘JWoww’ Farley (Very hot!), Holly Madison, Paris & Nicky Hilton, Briana Evigan (Who? Hot!!), Ashley Greene, Carmen Electra, AnnaLynne McCord, Tori Spelling, Alyssa Milano (WOW!!), and Jamie Lyn Sigler.

Since Alyssa Milano has her own line of clothing I figure she knew exactly what she was doing when she decided to attend a fundraiser for something called ‘A Drop in the Bucket’. Well played, Alyssa. You almost made me want to donate some money to whatever cause ]]>

More women should wear shirts like this...

Since Alyssa Milano has her own line of clothing I figure she knew exactly what she was doing when she decided to attend a fundraiser for something called ‘A Drop in the Bucket’. Well played, Alyssa. You almost made me want to donate some money to whatever cause this is. Now, should she lose the bra and send me pics of herself in that shirt I would definitely make a donation. Email me!

In what appears to be a campaign for female football fans, the NFL is running commercials for Alyssa Milano’s clothing line, Touch. Milano, who has been in the apparel business for quite some time now, sells everything from hoodies to pants for professional and college teams. ]]>

In what appears to be a campaign for female football fans, the NFL is running commercials for Alyssa Milano’s clothing line, Touch. Milano, who has been in the apparel business for quite some time now, sells everything from hoodies to pants for professional and college teams. Certainly a far cry from her days as teenage boy heartthrob Samantha Micelli. The mere mention of the name causes a pleasant disturbance in my manly area. Something I’m sure you couldn’t have gone throughout the day without knowing.

As for the NFL wanting more female fans, I say the more the merrier. Especially if that woman looks like Milano, is barely clothed and cooks food round the clock during the game–preferably nachos, wings, and those little mini pizzas. Any ladies like that around?

Video via With Leather:

Never one to miss an opportunity to hawk her sports-related clothing line, Alyssa Milano was at ESPN Magazine’s 7th Annual Pre-Draft Party in New York last night. I used to begrudge her for being so transparent in her efforts to promote her wares by attending these events, ]]>

Never one to miss an opportunity to hawk her sports-related clothing line, Alyssa Milano was at ESPN Magazine’s 7th Annual Pre-Draft Party in New York last night. I used to begrudge her for being so transparent in her efforts to promote her wares by attending these events, but since I checked out her Twitter feed a while back I have new respect for her sports knowledge. Or the guy doing the tweeting for her, whatever the case may be. Either way, I like her more now and these photos of her at the party aren’t hurting matters any.

Yes! We did it. 310 women from 32 different countries. Thousands of votes. 30 years of sexy ladies… Phew! Now comes the really hard part: Taking the 28 stunning women you chose from these groups and whittling them down to your ultimate choice and crowning our 3rd Annual Sexiest ]]>

Yes! We did it. 310 women from 32 different countries. Thousands of votes. 30 years of sexy ladies… Phew! Now comes the really hard part: Taking the 28 stunning women you chose from these groups and whittling them down to your ultimate choice and crowning our 3rd Annual Sexiest Woman of the Year. Semi-Final #2 begins…. NOW!

(Click the pics to see more of each lady. Percentage of the vote is at the time of this publication.)

Remember to vote at the end for who you think is the sexiest of this group!

Stacy Keibler (1979ii, 29%) – – – – – – – – – Marisa Miller* (1978, 33%)

Emmanuelle Chriqui (1977, 27%) – – – – – – – – – Kelly Monaco (1976, 19%)

Charlize Theron (1975, 16%) – – – – – – – – – Eva Mendes (1974, 27%)

Kate Beckinsale** (1973, 32%) – – – – – – – – – Alyssa Milano (1972, 21%)

Brooke Burke (1971, 30%) – – – – – – – – – Jennifer Connelly (1970, 20%)

Catherine Zeta Jones (1969, 26%) – – – – – – – – – Vanessa Marcil (1968, 22%)

Salma Hayek (1966-67, 38%) – – – – – – – – – Monica Bellucci (1962-65, 35%)

CLICK HERE TO VIEW AND VOTE FOR SEMI-FINAL #1!

CLICK HERE TO VIEW AND VOTE FOR SEMI-FINAL #1!

Summary of the women we covered

Countries: United States (185), England (31), Canada (16), Australia (15), Brazil (8), Czech Republic, Italy, Spain (4), India, Mexico, Russia (3), Argentina, Columbia, France, Germany, Greece, Netherlands, New Zealand, Paraguay, Poland, South Africa, Switzerland, Wales, Ukraine (2), Barbados, Cayman Islands, Denmark, Dominican Republic, Israel, Puerto Rico, Sweden, and Venezuela (1).

Occupations: Actress (168), Model, (82), Singer (24), Model/Actress (12), Actress/Singer (11), Athlete (4), Athlete/Model, Singer/Model, TV Show Host (2), Dancer, Dancer/Singer, Model/Chef (1).

*2009 Winner; **2008 Winner.

As is the case with every one of the bi-weekly awards shows/fashion launches/movie premieres the Spike TV Video Game Awards brought out the babes. When one of these events takes place sexy celebrity women are drawn to them like flies to manure. It just happens. There’s no getting around ]]>

As is the case with every one of the bi-weekly awards shows/fashion launches/movie premieres the Spike TV Video Game Awards brought out the babes. When one of these events takes place sexy celebrity women are drawn to them like flies to manure. It just happens. There’s no getting around it. Thank goodness. And as with all made-up awards show created strictly as a massive public relations vehicles this awards show brought out some big guns including (in order below) Tricia Helfer, Alyssa Milano, Claudia Black (who?), Olivia Wilde, Alessandra Torresani (who?), Jenni Farley (who?), Nancy O’Dell, and Courtney Hansen (who?). Interesting list… I guess.

I’m a big Alyssa Milano fan, despite her past habit of dating baseball players, and her shameless use of her status and sexiness to sell athletic wear, and the fact that she got married to some guy I never heard of rather than becoming a permanent WAG… ]]>

I’m a big Alyssa Milano fan, despite her past habit of dating baseball players, and her shameless use of her status and sexiness to sell athletic wear, and the fact that she got married to some guy I never heard of rather than becoming a permanent WAG… what was I talking about? Oh yeah, look at the suh-weet cleavage Alyssa brought to the UNICEF Ball the other day! I really have nothing else to say. It’s Alyssa Milano sporting massive cleavage. What else could I possibly add?

1972… The Godfather is released in cinemas. An extra leap second is added to end the month of June. The Summer Olympics are held in Munich, West Germany. The first episode of The Price Is Right is hosted on CBS by Bob Barker. And this wonderful group ]]>

1972… The Godfather is released in cinemas. An extra leap second is added to end the month of June. The Summer Olympics are held in Munich, West Germany. The first episode of The Price Is Right is hosted on CBS by Bob Barker. And this wonderful group of women were born…

Over the span of several weeks we will be taking a look at the sexiest women born between the years 1962 and 1991, culminating with you deciding which of these over 300 women is our 2010 Sexiest Woman of the Year. Each birth year offers something special with beautiful women representing countries around the globe. These lists feature actresses, models, singers, athletes… Trust me, no one is left out.

(Click the pics to see more of each lady.)

Be sure to vote at the end of this post for who you think is the sexiest of this group!

- – - – - – - – 1972 – - – - – - – -

Angie Harmon (American actress) – – – – – – – – – Gwyneth Paltrow (American actress)

Carmen Electra (American model) – – – – – – – – – Jennifer Garner (American actress)

Dita Von Teese (American actress) – – – – – – – – – Julie Benz (American actress)

Rebecca Romijn (American actress) – – – – – – – – – Alyssa Milano (American actress)

Cameron Diaz (American actress) – – – – – – – – – Jenny McCarthy (American model)

Gabrielle Union (American actress) – – – – – – – – – Sofia Vergara (Columbian model)

CLICK HERE TO VIEW AND VOTE FOR THE LADIES OF OTHER YEARS!

As usual Hollywood was out in full force on Halloween. Makes sense since obviously some of these people have made a deal with the devil to get where they are (yes, talking to you Kardashians). It was actually a rather disappointing showing overall though. Sexiness was in ]]>

As usual Hollywood was out in full force on Halloween. Makes sense since obviously some of these people have made a deal with the devil to get where they are (yes, talking to you Kardashians). It was actually a rather disappointing showing overall though. Sexiness was in short supply (yes, talking to you Jessica Alba and Christina Aguilera) though there were still some celebs worth seeing. Hopefully later today some better photos will trickle in, but for now the highlights included Katie Price, Audrina Patridge, Holly Madison, Selita Ebanks, Ashley Greene and Bai Ling. Yeah, all the A-listers… In order below: Aguilera, Alba, Eva Amurri, Kate Beckinsale, Mariah Carey, Miranda Cosgrove, Nina Dobrev, Eliza Dushku, Selita Ebanks, Briana Evigan, Isla Fisher, Greene, Alyson Hannigan, Julianne Hough, Khloe Kardashian, Heidi Klum, Latoya Jackson (eww), Ling, Blake Lively, Jessica Lowndes, Madison, AnnaLynne McCord, Alyssa Milano, Nicky Hilton, Aubrey O’Day, Paris Hilton, Patridge, Phoebe Price (eww again), Katie Price, Brooke Shields, Gwen Stefani, Michelle Trachtenberg, and Kim Kardashian. Phew…

I slipped in a pic of Christina Aguilera in last year’s costume just to see if you were paying attention. Did you notice?

RELATED CONTENT FROM OUR PARTNERS

April has been quite a busy month for Alyssa Milano shilling her stuff. The beginning of the month saw her hawking a book about her love for baseball (i.e. a promo tool to sell her baseball clothes) and now she ]]>

April has been quite a busy month for Alyssa Milano shilling her stuff. The beginning of the month saw her hawking a book about her love for baseball (i.e. a promo tool to sell her baseball clothes) and now she is running around trying to sell some of her basketball stuff, such as here at the NBA Store in NYC… Thank goodness she’s such a babe or we might be annoyed by her. A thought here… if she really wants to sell some stuff she needs to make public appearances wearing whatever it is she has on in that poster in the background… Giggity.

More Alyssa Milano goodness here and here…
…and some NSFW Alyssa stuff here.

ESPN the Magazine had at least a couple of babes at their NEXT Big Weekend 2009 Super Bowl Party as Alyssa Milano and Lindsay Lohan (who of course has tremendous ties to professional football… not) were in attendance.

Oh how ]]>

ESPN the Magazine had at least a couple of babes at their NEXT Big Weekend 2009 Super Bowl Party as Alyssa Milano and Lindsay Lohan (who of course has tremendous ties to professional football… not) were in attendance.

Oh how much it pains me to see ESPN personalities able to mingle with babes such as this…

More Alyssa here and more Lindsay here.

Welcome to the 2009 edition of our Sexiest Woman in the World event! As I stated last year, there are many sites and magazines that do this and in most cases they get it wrong (see Lohan, Lindsay;

Welcome to the 2009 edition of our Sexiest Woman in the World event! As I stated last year, there are many sites and magazines that do this and in most cases they get it wrong (see Lohan, Lindsay; Spears, Britney; and Mills, Heather). Last year you, my awesome readers, voted Kate Beckinsale as the 2008 Sexiest Female on the Planet and I couldn’t have been more pleased with your taste. Let’s try not to blow it this year, okay?

Here’s how it’s going down. I’ve tweaked things a bit this year. Last year we had 64 babes going head-to-head til we got down to the finals. This year we’ll have 100 babes in 10 groups of 10 with the final 10 being divided into two groups of five, then the winners of those two groups will go boob-to-boob to determine our champeen for 2009.

Here are your 10 groups of 10, with voting for Group 2 now in progress…

Group 2
Jessica Alba

Camilla Belle

Monica Bellucci

Brooke Burke

Izabel Goulart

Stacy Keibler

Eva Mendes

Alyssa Milano

Emily Scott

Paz Vega

Group 1
Christina Aguilera
Amanda Bynes
Abigail Clancy
Rosario Dawson
Megan Fox
Kate Hudson
Beyonce Knowles
Ali Larter
Kristanna Loken
Olivia Wilde

Click here to vote or see the results for Group 1.

Group 3
Ana Beatriz Barros
Kate Beckinsale
Halle Berry
Kim Cloutier
Minka Kelly
Miranda Kerr
Rachelle Leah
Sophie Monk
Nina Moric
Rihanna

Click here to vote or see the results for Group 3.

Group 4
Alessandra Ambrosio
Rachel Bilson
Sophia Bush
Hilary Duff
Angelina Jolie
Leighton Meester
Marisa Miller
Olivia Munn
Elsa Pataky
Sarah Shahi

Click here to vote or see the results for Group 4.

Group 5
Diora Baird
Kelly Brook
Charisma Carpenter
Penelope Cruz
Anne Hathaway
Scarlett Johannson
Adriana Lima
Grace Park
Lucy Pinder
Kelly Ripa

Click here to vote or see the results for Group 5.

Group 6
Jennifer Aniston
Devon Aoki
Carolina Ardohain
Heidi Klum
Denise Milani
Kelly Monaco
Adrianne Palicki
Jessica Simpson
Cheryl Tweedy
Carrie Underwood

Click here to vote or see the results for Group 6.

Group 7
Gemma Atkinson
Laetitia Casta
Elisha Cuthbert
Eliza Dushku
Doutzen Kroes
Olga Kurylenko
Maria Menounos
Petra Nemcova
Dania Ramirez
Bar Refaeli

Click here to vote or see the results for Group 7.

Group 8
Kristen Bell
Jessica Biel
Emily Blunt
Monica Cruz
Jessica Gomes
Amber Heard
Danielle Lloyd
Nicole Scherzinger
Charlize Theron
Sofia Vergara

Click to vote or see the results for Group 8.

Group 9
Sammy Braddy
Emmanuelle Chriqui
Carmen Electra
Keeley Hazell
Julianne Hough
Eva Longoria
Joanna Krupa
Natalie Portman
Nadine Velazquez
Estella Warren

Click here to vote or see the results for Group 9.

Group 10
Gisele Bundchen
Kelly Carlson
Giada De Laurentis
Carla Gugino
Salma Hayek
Mila Kunis
Blake Lively
Katie Price
Roselyn Sanchez
Yvonne Strahovski

Click here to vote or see the results for Group 10.

And like I said previously, if I left out your personal favorite, tough noogies… if she ain’t in my top 100, she ain’t gonna be voted the sexiest on the planet. Or you could go check over at AskMen.com where they are one of the few other sites whose readers have nearly as good taste as the readers here have.

Do you have any idea how hard it is do this blog when you’re sick? Well, it’s real, real hard. You see I have to be motivated and chipper to find hot pics of chicks and provide the snarky, semi-humorous comments that accompany said pics. So, since I am sick, ]]>

Do you have any idea how hard it is do this blog when you’re sick? Well, it’s real, real hard. You see I have to be motivated and chipper to find hot pics of chicks and provide the snarky, semi-humorous comments that accompany said pics. So, since I am sick, here’s Alyssa Milano selling something other than her own stupid line of clothing… Waiiit a minute… she slipped some of her crap into this classy photo shoot… God, she is shameless… I must have her.

Being sick sucks ass… the least you could do is send me one of those lame ‘I remembered something about you but don’t really care enough to actually go out and get you something, even an overpriced greeting card’ e-mail cards that say Get Well Soon.

Much more Alyssa Milano sexy hotness here.

Which early 90′s TV babe has turned out to be hotter: Tiffani Thiessen of Saved By The Bell or Alyssa Milano of Who’s The Boss? THERE IS NO LOSER HERE…

Much like her counterpart in the NHL, Elisha Cuthbert, well-known baseball groupie Alyssa Milano made sure that her presence was felt (read: cleavage) at the MLB All-Star Game festivities this week. (And don’t give me the, “She’s there to promote her clothing line” BS. ]]>

Much like her counterpart in the NHL, Elisha Cuthbert, well-known baseball groupie Alyssa Milano made sure that her presence was felt (read: cleavage) at the MLB All-Star Game festivities this week. (And don’t give me the, “She’s there to promote her clothing line” BS. Her clothing line is SO she can be at MLB events.)

So tell me, if you were an MLB All-Star and you saw this, how many seconds would it take you to invite her back to the clubhouse for a little BP. And by BP, I mean, uh, something that has the initials BP and is sexual in connotation. Man, sometimes I am such a freaking wordsmith it scares me.