School bullies are a ubiquitous and unfortunate part of growing up. Luckily, most real-world bullies are complete pussies when it comes to the legendary bullies that have graced the Nickelodeon channel over the years. Here are the most ruthless bullies of Nick that we all loved ]]>

School bullies are a ubiquitous and unfortunate part of growing up. Luckily, most real-world bullies are complete pussies when it comes to the legendary bullies that have graced the Nickelodeon channel over the years. Here are the most ruthless bullies of Nick that we all loved to hate:

Clifford Spleenhurfer – Clarissa Explains it All

If ever there was a nerd that needed a pounding, it was Clarissa’s little brother – Ferguson (Ferg-Face). Offering up his services for this very task was school bully Clifford Spleenhurfer. In a season 1 episode, he intimidates Ferguson into “giving” him a bunch of personal items – including Clarissa’s Walkman. Unfortunately, when Clarissa stands up to him, he pusses out and falls in love with her. Later, the two start dating.

Clifford, you had such great potential – what with your butt-cut hairdo and Motorhead t-shirt. Unfortunately, the fact that you got whipped into shape by a “free spirit” female means you’re just not as ruthless as the rest of the bullies on this list.

Helga G. Pataki – Hey Arnold!

For most bullies, hate is the chief emotion propelling their mean-spirited behavior. Not so with Helga G. Pataki – who is secretly in love with the titular character. Maybe it’s her fear of Arnold rejecting her – or maybe she’s self-conscious about that lovely uni-brow of hers – either way, she doesn’t want anyone to know how much she loves Arnold. Ergo, she overcompensates by making his life a living hell.

Constant name-calling (Football Head) and mean jokes leave Arnold perpetually in fear of his secret admirer. And if you’re a girl that Arnold has a crush on, you better watch out – because Helga will leave you looking so ugly, not even you’re mother will love you.

Roger Klotz – Doug

When you’ve got a bully as big and mean as Roger Klotz, you better hope you’ve got Quailman on your side. This leather-clad degenerate is a constant thorn in Doug’s side. Klotz’s demonic plans routinely serve as key plot points for the show. His reign of terror includes everything from stealing Mr. Bone’s coveted Yodelmeister trophy (and nearly letting Doug take the fall) to taking Doug’s coveted journal. With a trailer park home and cat named Stinky, it’s no wonder Roger Klotz is the scourge of Bluffington (note: in later episodes his family was inexplicably rich, but that didn’t slow him down).

And of course, Klotz’s antics are even more epic in Doug’s imagination. Between Klotzilla and Dr. Klotzenstein, no kid in a green vest and khaki pants is safe.

Angelica Pickles – Rugrats

Spoiled brat + parents who are never there = a recipe for disaster. At three years old, Angelica is the youngest bully on the list, but no less menacing. After all, how many of the bullies have the guts to pick on a bunch of poor, defenseless babies? She’ll take your favorite toy and throw it into the neighbor’s backyard so you can’t play with it. She’ll let her cat destroy your house and blame it on the dog. She’ll even steal your baby teeth and sell them to the Tooth Fairy. There’s no doubt about it – Angelica Pickles is one bad apple.

Budnick – Salute Your Shorts

Oh, Budnick. I hold you in my heart, And when I think about you, it makes me want to fart. Robert “Bobby” Budnick ruled Camp Anawanna with an iron fist (with the devoted assistance of Donkeylips). So much so, in fact, that the show itself was named after one of the red-headed bully’s most visible forms of torture – stealing some puke stain’s underwear and running it up the flagpole for all to see.

Budnick was a true innovator in bullying. He even goes so far as to invent his own unique torture device – the Awful Waffle – which involves pressing a tennis racket on some nerd’s stomach, then adding syrup. Purple Nurple, eat your heart out.

Every Bully on the Adventures of Pete and Pete

If I listed every ruthless bully from the Adventures of Pete and Pete as a separate entry on this list, there wouldn’t be room for any other shows. Simply put, if you’re a pipsqueak, you better pray your family doesn’t live in the fictional town of Wellsville.

Both Big Pete and Little Pete have their run-ins with bullies. For Big Pete, his main rival is “Endless” Mike Hellstrom – so named because he is endlessly being held back to repeat the same year of high school. Also, he has an endless hatred for Big Pete.

For Little Pete, sweaty-pitted Pitstain poses the biggest risk. For giving him his infamous nickname, Pitstain loathes the tiny tattooed Pete with a passion. Together, along with his incessant toadies – Hairnet, Drawstring and Nightbrace – Pitstain will stop at nothing to see Little Pete cry in pain.

The notorious Hat Head was the first bully dumb enough to pick on the Petes. Superhero Artie comes to their aid in that battle. Open-Face is a ruthless bully that is perpetually eating open-face sandwiches. And Papercut is a misguided youth covered in paper cuts who uses his supreme origami skills to fashion brutal bullying weapons.

No matter where the Petes turned, there was a maniacal bully ready to destroy them. Together or alone, these are the most ruthless bullies in Nickelodeon history.