Kate Upton taught us how to dougie. Even Nickelodeon character Doug taught us how to dougie. But can any of them top this bird?

Not gonna lie: Kind of ruined it for me to see the silhouette of the person dancing for the bird to mimic. ]]>

Kate Upton taught us how to dougie. Even Nickelodeon character Doug taught us how to dougie. But can any of them top this bird?

Not gonna lie: Kind of ruined it for me to see the silhouette of the person dancing for the bird to mimic. I mean, yeah, the bird doing it is still impressive. It’s just not as impressive than if he did it all on his own.

Yes I’m being hypercritical of a bird dancing to a two-year-old hip hop song. This is my life.

The dog in this video has a habit that’s adorable: He wants his paw held while driving. But it gets less adorable every time he does it.

Dog, you’re a little clingy. It’s not you, dog, it’s me. Specifically, it’s me not wanting to careen off a ]]>

The dog in this video has a habit that’s adorable: He wants his paw held while driving. But it gets less adorable every time he does it.

Dog, you’re a little clingy. It’s not you, dog, it’s me. Specifically, it’s me not wanting to careen off a cliff because you needed your paw held. Still cute, though!

Frogs and I have had a tenuous relationship outside of our ability to work together to adequately navigate oncoming traffic. But this frog sitting on a bench like a human is easily my favorite frog in the history of frogs. Sorry, Bud, Weis, and Er.

I’d like to take a ]]>

Frogs and I have had a tenuous relationship outside of our ability to work together to adequately navigate oncoming traffic. But this frog sitting on a bench like a human is easily my favorite frog in the history of frogs. Sorry, Bud, Weis, and Er.

I’d like to take a moment to salute YouTube commenters for stepping their game up. Whenever I see a strong top comment like this one, it restores a lot of my faith in Internet humanity:

via @DaveStopera

In this video, a dog gets yelled at by its owner. He responds like a petulant teenager, ignoring her and then running into his room and closing the door. It’s like a dog version of My So-Called Life.

What made me sad is that I wanted to ]]>

In this video, a dog gets yelled at by its owner. He responds like a petulant teenager, ignoring her and then running into his room and closing the door. It’s like a dog version of My So-Called Life.

What made me sad is that I wanted to watch this video several times in a row but the shrill owner kind of wrecked it for me. All I’m saying is that if you see a dog looking suspiciously like Jaden walking down the hallway with a bindle over his dog shoulder, help him out. He’s had a rough ear-drum shredding life.

A couple of penguins named Pete and Penny flew on a Delta flight going from Atlanta to New York to do some PR work for their new Discover Channel documentary series Frozen Planet. Somehow, they ended up flying in the cabin of the plane. AND IT IS ]]>

A couple of penguins named Pete and Penny flew on a Delta flight going from Atlanta to New York to do some PR work for their new Discover Channel documentary series Frozen Planet. Somehow, they ended up flying in the cabin of the plane. AND IT IS ADORABLE.

I would not be mad in the slightest if Samuel L. Jackson saw this and made Penguins on a Plane as a sequel to Snakes on a Plane. Only, instead of having to kill them to save the plane, he just sits on the floor and scratches them under their chins and goes, “Aww, ain’t y’all some cute mofuckas.” Two hours well spent, I’d say.

This is a picture, via @ReporterLeslie, of a goat enjoying a slice of NYC pizza. It happened in the restaurant as though it were a normal thing. It is not.

Typical goat, going to La Famiglia instead of an authentic NYC pizza place. ]]>

This is a picture, via @ReporterLeslie, of a goat enjoying a slice of NYC pizza. It happened in the restaurant as though it were a normal thing. It is not.

Typical goat, going to La Famiglia instead of an authentic NYC pizza place. What, was the line at Sbarro’s too long? These goats…so unenlightened.

Goat Eating Pizza in Midtown [Buzzfeed]

I have no clue who Johnny Neon is and have never come within a twenty mile radius of hearing his song “Hearts.” But all I know is that he had a dog going on an adventure in his music video for the song and it brings me much joy. ]]>

I have no clue who Johnny Neon is and have never come within a twenty mile radius of hearing his song “Hearts.” But all I know is that he had a dog going on an adventure in his music video for the song and it brings me much joy. Between this dog music video, with forcible camerawork conducted by a South African pooch named Lemon, and the dog from The Artist getting onstage for the Best Picture Academy Award, this is shaping up to be the year that dogs finally chip in a bit in the artistic community.

Dogs can do lots of crazy tricks with a clicker and some dog treats. In this clip, a dog brings people their receipt at a vet after they pay. Why? Who knows.

I’m all for having dogs be adorable and do cool tricks. But what’s the point of this? ]]>

Dogs can do lots of crazy tricks with a clicker and some dog treats. In this clip, a dog brings people their receipt at a vet after they pay. Why? Who knows.

I’m all for having dogs be adorable and do cool tricks. But what’s the point of this? She could have easily reached twice to accomplish this. She doesn’t even seem to derive any joy from it any more. And what’s that second dog doing, apprentice work? This is a highly inefficient business. No wonder small business is being squeezed out in this country. Dogs doing the jobs of people who used to get paid to do this. Disgraceful.

Dog Delivers Receipt at Veterinary Clinic [Tastefully Offensive]

Ever put pants on a dog? No? What kind of freak are you? Anyway, apparently, this dog had some Santaesque pants put on him and was beckoned down the stairs. And then all sorts of craziness happened.

In related news, even when they’re doing something like this, dogs wearing ]]>

Ever put pants on a dog? No? What kind of freak are you? Anyway, apparently, this dog had some Santaesque pants put on him and was beckoned down the stairs. And then all sorts of craziness happened.

In related news, even when they’re doing something like this, dogs wearing pants still make everyone in a one-mile radius look like an asshole by proxy. Glad we could hash that out.

Amazing Pet Trick of the Day [The Daily What]

A bear waving at people and not eating them? Is life becoming more like a cartoon? I’d really like to believe so. In this clip, an adorable and amicable bear (who’d still probably eat you) waves at people in a car. And it is too freaking awesome.

My favorite ]]>

A bear waving at people and not eating them? Is life becoming more like a cartoon? I’d really like to believe so. In this clip, an adorable and amicable bear (who’d still probably eat you) waves at people in a car. And it is too freaking awesome.

My favorite part of this video existing is the YouTube uploader’s response to a question about why not that many people have seen this clip:

Shame on you, Internet society. Note to self: Google ‘Waving Bears’ daily as part of morning ritual. I don’t drink coffee, so I’ve got room on my schedule.

Awwwwwre You Kidding Me With This of the Day [The Daily What]

Cool Dog needs to move over. This dog riding shotgun in a (rape?) van is now the king of ridiculously smooth canines (and on National Dog Day of all days!)

Good for you, dog. You’re not trying to impress anyone, ]]>

Cool Dog needs to move over. This dog riding shotgun in a (rape?) van is now the king of ridiculously smooth canines (and on National Dog Day of all days!)

Good for you, dog. You’re not trying to impress anyone, just living your life.

He’s kind of fat though. His cool dogsmanship is all well and good, but adult onset diabetes is no laughing matter. Healthy bloodflow is what’s really cool, kids.

Morning Fluff [The Daily What]

This video combines three of my favorite things: Dogs, parkour, and generic techno-y beats. In this clip, a dog does parkour and, rest assured, it’s awesome.

I really respect that dog’s hard work and dedication to his craft. Dogs love jumping around recklessly but now it’s ]]>

This video combines three of my favorite things: Dogs, parkour, and generic techno-y beats. In this clip, a dog does parkour and, rest assured, it’s awesome.

I really respect that dog’s hard work and dedication to his craft. Dogs love jumping around recklessly but now it’s like they’re honing their craft in a meaningful way. Why it’s almost like one of them saw Rise of the Planet of the Apes this weekend. Oh god. They’re coming for us, aren’t they?

Well, I for one am not looking forward to licking peanut butter off a dog’s genitals when they take over but I suppose we white men were due for a loss at some point. I’m just glad it’ll come at the hands of the dogs and not at the hands of the damn Eskimos.

Dog Parkour! DOG PARKOUR! [Videogum]

No matter how good your sex life is, there is no way it’s better than that of the cockatiel who bangs a lady bird out and then sings “Whistle While You Work” in this video.

There’s obviously a lot to love here, particularly involving the cockatiel’s reckless attitudes towards ]]>

No matter how good your sex life is, there is no way it’s better than that of the cockatiel who bangs a lady bird out and then sings “Whistle While You Work” in this video.

There’s obviously a lot to love here, particularly involving the cockatiel’s reckless attitudes towards sex. But my favorite part of the video is how he steps on his lady friend and walks on her back to get over and do his singing. “Sorry bitch, daddy’s got to get his Disney song in.” At least give her a towel and a bottle of water. Cockatiels, man. No class.

I don’t know a whole lot about Bison who don’t throw psycho crushers at innocent Japanese warriors in red headbands, but now that I’ve seen this clip of a Canadian bison who rides in a car with his owner, goes to a bar, and drinks beer, I would like to ]]>

I don’t know a whole lot about Bison who don’t throw psycho crushers at innocent Japanese warriors in red headbands, but now that I’ve seen this clip of a Canadian bison who rides in a car with his owner, goes to a bar, and drinks beer, I would like to befriend one.

I just feel bad for the people who might run into the bison at a bar. Not only would that be horrifying, it’d be entirely too easy to mistake the bison for a regular girl from Edmonton. FACE!

Here’s a bison riding in a car [Filmdrunk]

Seriously hilarious, that is. In this clip, a dolphin sexually harasses a couple until they recoil in fear. It’s like “Last House on the Left”…but with dolphins.

I can’t blame the dolphin too much here. If a dolphin came into my house like these two people encroached on this ]]>

Seriously hilarious, that is. In this clip, a dolphin sexually harasses a couple until they recoil in fear. It’s like “Last House on the Left”…but with dolphins.

I can’t blame the dolphin too much here. If a dolphin came into my house like these two people encroached on this dolphin’s house, I’d probably sexually assault it too. “What you doin’ here, lil darlin,” I imagine saying while looking laciviously at its blowhole. That dolphin would learn a little respect.

Dolphin Rape! [Buzzfeed]

Is this newsworthy? No. Funny? Also probably a no. But it is a walrus seemingly masturbating and, frankly, that’s something the world needs to know.

My favorite part is how leisurely he does it. He’s really savoring the moment. Get that walrus a bubble bath and some Kenny G ]]>

Is this newsworthy? No. Funny? Also probably a no. But it is a walrus seemingly masturbating and, frankly, that’s something the world needs to know.

My favorite part is how leisurely he does it. He’s really savoring the moment. Get that walrus a bubble bath and some Kenny G and let him enjoy himself. Damn selfish zookeepers.

Horny Walrus [Buzzfeed]

This is a video of a Ukrainian dog doing parkour. If you do not click this video, you clearly hate anything that is good. So just do it.

It’s all fun and games until Parkour Dog leaps up off a counter, flies off the wall, and eats your pastrami ]]>

This is a video of a Ukrainian dog doing parkour. If you do not click this video, you clearly hate anything that is good. So just do it.

It’s all fun and games until Parkour Dog leaps up off a counter, flies off the wall, and eats your pastrami sandwich while taking a crap on your head at the same time.

In related news, I have a female puppy who’s adorable but completely clumsy. If this dog would like to make love to her, I’d have to allow it. Lest he get all up in my face as only he is able to do.

Previously on this site, we had an English bulldog hanging out on the couch and watching TV and a different dog masturbating. But what happens when you combine the two? You get this…a bulldog fapping on the couch.

There is so much to love about ]]>

Previously on this site, we had an English bulldog hanging out on the couch and watching TV and a different dog masturbating. But what happens when you combine the two? You get this…a bulldog fapping on the couch.

There is so much to love about this clip. A) The bulldog veers from indifferent to mildly ashamed flawlessly over and over again. B) The way he licks his lips…I think we’ve all been there, eh fellas? And, lastly, C) I am not entirely sure how I’d react if my dog stared at me and masturbated. I mean like, he’s not doing anything wrong. I’m not saying you have to help him out. But would it kill you to maybe show a little skin for man’s best friend? Probably not.

Spying on people isn’t a good thing. But if you’re going to do it as adorably as the Peeping Tom cat in this video does, I think people may turn a blind eye.

See? And we thought it was only Ceiling Cat

Spying on people isn’t a good thing. But if you’re going to do it as adorably as the Peeping Tom cat in this video does, I think people may turn a blind eye.

See? And we thought it was only Ceiling Cat who watches you masturbate.

Any description I put for this video of an English bulldog watching TV isn’t going to do justice for how entertaining this clip is. All you need to know: This is an English bulldog watching Family Guy like he was a person.

The good of this video: It’s a ]]>

Any description I put for this video of an English bulldog watching TV isn’t going to do justice for how entertaining this clip is. All you need to know: This is an English bulldog watching Family Guy like he was a person.

The good of this video: It’s a dog watching TV like a human…I also really like the way he has his paw in his crotch as if he were Al Bundy…he’s watching a show that has a character who is a dog with human features. The bad: If you look closely, it kind of looks like a midget in a dog suit, which is freaking me the f-ck out. Life is a two-sided coin in that way.