Anna Kournikova may not have been wildly successful on the tennis court, but as a businesswoman, she’s done quite well for herself. Kournikova recently sold her 6,630-square-foot Miami beach home for $7.4 million dollars. Her original investment in the estate twelve years ago was $5 million dollars. Certainly a solid chunk of change, even for someone as wealthy as Anna.

Some of the lavish features of the Kournikova home:

-7 bedrooms, 8 bathrooms
-heated pool, jacuzzi, and sauna
-coral rock pool deck
-150 feet of intracoastal
-2-story guest house
-bay and canal waterfronts

Anna Kournikova Sells in Miami [WSJ]

This new photo shoot that Anna Kournikova did for the latest issue of Tatler Russia has me wondering two things. One, is she still relevant? At all? And two, is she still hot? Maybe it’s just this particular photo shoot that is turning me off for some reason, because she certainly appeared to still have it going on in this video she did recently for Women’s Health. So many mixed feelings when it comes to Anna. I want her to still be relevant because what man out there didn’t think she was the sexiest athlete on the planet at some point? That was years ago though. I think her time for relevancy might be coming to an end. Too bad.

Inevitably, during your busy work week, there are videos you probably missed on Guyism. But don’t fret, we’ve compiled some of the best in one post for you.

A supercut of all the Penn State references on ‘South Park’

Earlier this week, South Park addressed the Penn State situation in the only way they know how–by telling jokes and going overboard.

Here’s a supercut off all the references courtesy of the Guyism team.

Blonde girl has blondest moment ever, stuck going up a down escalator

I don’t even know what to say after viewing this clip. It’s like an old 1990s Truly Tasteless Jokes jokebook come to life. In this video, a blonde is stuck trying to go up on a Saks escalator. The problem? It’s a down escalator.

Best Pee Wee football highlight ever?

Excuse the hyperbole, but this is the best Pee Wee football video of all-time. I don’t want to spoil it for you but there’s a pretty impressive tackle by a lineman—on his own teammate.

Camel dusts a hot girl in a head-to-head race

In fairness, the camel kind of cheats with its wild, spastic running style. But still..camels: 1, hot girls: 0.

Now watch a girl play various Zelda songs on her violin, while dressed as Link

Hey, remember the girl who played Metroid tunes in the same manner? Guess she’s got a sister or something.

The following girl’s take on “look at me; I can coslay AND play a difficult instrument at the same time!!!” differs in various ways. First off, the camera work is quite nicer, her attire is a bit fancier (sorry), and she’s considerably more exuberant/in character. Oh, and there’s also a horse!

Anna Kournikova working out on video is like Christmas coming early

A couple of weeks ago I shared with you some sexy pictures of Anna Kournikova (now of The Biggest Loser fame) showing us how she works out for the latest issue of Women’s Health. Today I finally was able to get my hands on the video. And. It. Is. Epic. That’s really all I have to say. Watch and enjoy.

The very awful New York Jets are making kids cry

Upon being told that his beloved New York Jets lost Thursday night, this young fan, well he lost it. And of course, his ahole mom was there to capture every moment and exploit her child to the world.

Shame on you ma’am and on general principle, shame on Mark Sanchez.

Britney Spears got bit by a fan

I guess Britney gives fans lap dances during her concerts and this video just hit the Internet of some guy getting the treatment, only when Brit climbs the stripper pole to wrap her legs around his head he decides he wants to get a little bite of one of her legs. I bet she tastes like gravy.

This Barney toy is probably sending kids the wrong message

Unintentionally disturbing toys are entirely common (see our collection of 10 toys that’ll permanently screw up your kid). But this Barney toy is not only inappropriate, but also definitely sends the wrong message about where it’s okay to touch.

Sparty creeps out dance team member by sniffing her hair

The greatest mascot in sports might also be its biggest pervert. Watch as ‘Sparty’ creeps out an MSU dance team member by sniffing her hair.

“I absolutely want to have children, whether I have my own or adopt. I love taking care of people.”

If that whole thing with Enrique doesn’t work out (she also says that marriage isn’t important to her) I would imagine there will be a few thousand guys lined up for her to take care of them (I actually have my had raised as I type this).

And as you can see from the pics, Anna has still got that whole “I work out to stay out so I can still make millions while not really being great at doing anything in particular other than having a really rockin’ bod and a cute face” thing going on. Kind of like I do, only without the millions of dollars part.

Anna Kournikova Trades Pro Tennis for Biggest Loser Training
“My back really forced me to stop. It got so bad; I couldn’t tie my shoes, literally. I would be in excruciating pain.”

Kristen Stewart Dons Snow White Armor in New Photos
“It’s not a little girl sitting by a well with little tweety birds telling her what to do and where to go.”

Jessica Simpson Postpones Wedding to Eric Johnson
“She was so gung ho about planning their wedding, and now she’s gone dark.”

Ashton Kutcher & Demi Moore: Are They Splitting?
“The actors’ reps have not commented yet.”

Nicole Richie Got a Boob Job
“Richie flaunted her fuller physique while vacationing with pals in Mexico September 24…”

Balding Jason Alexander Debuts Full Head of Hair
“I am experimenting with some interesting hair systems.”

Britney’s Dad Scores 7 Figures in Femme Fatale Tour
“He’s handled finances, managed Britney’s security to protect her from the paparazzi and made 200 – 400 calls and other communications a day on Brit’s behalf.”

Lady Gaga, Justin Bieber, Nirvana Among O Music Award Nominees
“The O Music Awards 2 will unfold on Halloween on OMUsicAwards.com, as well as MTV.com, VH1.com, CMT.com, LogoTV.com and MTVHive.com.”

Andy Rooney Retiring from 60 Minutes
“Rooney, 92, will look back on his career in an interview with Morley Safer during Sunday’s program, then announce his retirement in his essay.”

Cher “Stressed” Over Chaz Bono’s Injuries on Dancing with the Stars
“She called me up and she’s sending her doctors to help. She’s just trying to be as supportive as possible.”

Artie Lange — The Three Million Dollar Comeback
“…Artie and Nick just inked 3-year deals for a nationally syndicated radio show premiering Monday, October 3.”

TODAY’S VIDEO
The trailer for the upcoming documentary Being Elmo: A Puppeteer’s Journey.

The talk this week in the tennis world has been the return of Serena Williams. Having missed much of the last year because of injury, Serena was excited to come back. So excited apparently that her first appearance on the court in almost a year included a very tight-fitting pink bodysuit.

But Serena’s not the only one who tests the limits of tennis clothing. Here are some of the wackiest tennis outfits of all-time.

15 Bethanie Mattek Sand’s leopard print

Bethanie Mattek-Sands isn’t a great player. You won’t find her making deep runs into tournaments and in fact, she doesn’t have any WTA titles to her credit. What she does have, however, is a great eye for what really distracts people away from her otherwise poor play. Her leopard print outfit has been worn not once, but twice at the U.S. Open.

14 Serena Williams in denim

Years ago, tennis great Andre Agassi dared to play a match in jean shorts. It was as scary and fashion backward as one could imagine. Serena was able to pull it off, although, we still question how comfortable it is to actually play a match in a material like denim. Thankfully, Serena has not graced us with this monstrosity since 2004. A wise decision.

13 Maria Sharapova’s formal attire

Russian tennis goddess Maria Sharapova paid tribute to Audrey Hepburn with this black sequined outfit in 2006. She was able to destroy her competition that day 6-3, 6-0, but the dress was not a hit with her male fans. And by that, I mean guys like myself who are more interested in an outfit that closely resemble her SI bikini spread.

12 Caroline Wozniacki and the tight bulge

Is that a ball in your pants Caroline Wozniacki, are you just happy to see me. Wozniacki has been known to push the limits of some of her Stella McCartney outfits on the court, but this practice spandex left almost nothing to the imagination.

11 Tatiana Golovin’s red panties at Wimbledon

Wanna get your name in the press as a tennis player? Dare to break the rules and not wear white at Wimbledon. But if you really want to push the envelope, then pull a Tatiana Golovin and don some red panties. She was not disqualified however because officials determined that the rules only governed “shorts” and not “underwear”. Take note for future reference ladies–especially the attractive ones.

10 Bethanie Mattek-Sand’s cleavage buster

We told you earlier that Mattek-Sand’s has a way of distracting people away from her play on the court. She also, apparently, has a way of distracting young teens who are so enamored and fixated on breasts, that they don’t even bother to cover up their wandering eyes. And frankly, why should they?

9 Anna Kournikova’s midriff

Anna Kournikova’s outfit here isn’t as much wacky as it is downright awesome. This red midriff in particular is infamous because it occurred in a Grand Slam match that Kournikova actually won. Given her lack of success on the WTA tour, trust me, that’s notable.

8 Jelena Jankovic’s granny panties

The hilarity of that tennis skirt aside, Jelena Jankovic’s claim to fame is that she once changed her panties on court during a match. Yes, instead of running to the locker room like any respectable lady would, Jankovic put a towel across her lap and dropped her drawers. We’ve linked up the video for you but be warned, it’s not as hot as you’d think.

7 Mystery woman in ruffles

Clothing companies are always trying to find the next “in” thing for an upcoming line. And it’s no different in tennis, where the competition is fierce to nab the top players in the desperate hope they’ll wear one of your outfits. But this ruffled piece from Fila? If this tennis skirt catches on, God help us all.

6 Venus Williams French Open lingerie

On Venus Williams way to the French Open last year, she stopped at the Moulin Rouge. That’s the only explanation for that hideous black lace skirt with a flesh colored undergarment. Williams claimed that she was going for a “see thru” look for a different kind of motif. I think what she meant to say was, “I got drunk the night before and let a Parisian street whore dress me”.

5 Justine Henin as a junior

Truly, we feel bad making fun of kids. Yes, the occasional “Charlie bit my finger” video is amusing, but in general, laughing at the expense of those under 18 isn’t our thing. So our deepest apologies to a 14-year old Justine Henin for uncovering this hilarious photo of a tournament she won as a junior in Belgium.

4 Anne White white full-body spandex

Before the Williams sister unveiled their full body suits on the world, there was Anne White, who in 1985 was fashion forward in her white spandex suit at the All-England club. When her match against Pam Shriver was postponed due to bad light, the umpire, a man named Alan Mills, told her to wear more appropriate clothing the next day.

3 Serena Williams pink body suit

Is it Venus, is it Serena? That was the big talk earlier this week as one of the Williams’ sisters showed up to practice dressed in this all-pink spandex suit. We’re pretty sure it’s Serena now, which sorta makes sense as she has said for weeks now that she wants to make a splash when she returns the court. So, SPLASH!

2 Caroline Wozniacki and the much too short Stella McCartney

When you’re on top of the tennis world, you can pretty much do anything you want. World #1 Caroline Wozniacki even joked about getting beat up by a kangaroo earlier this year with the Australian media. Last year, her tennis skirt from Stella McCartney rode up so high during the U.S. Open that at times, when Wozniacki dove for balls on the court, it more or less resembled some kind of voyeur tennis match. Not that there’s anything wrong with that of course.

1 The Serena Williams cat suit

Perhaps no tennis outfit ever has been more talked about than the cat suit Serena unveiled at the 2002 U.S. Open. It drew criticism from most in the media and praise from a scant few. The suit was so firmly taught on Serena’s body that pictures like this filled newspapers for the better part of the entire tournament. Serena, for her part, ignored the critics on her way to four consecutive Grand Slam titles between 2002 and 2003 including, that U.S. Open.

Maria Sharapova is widely considered one of the hottest female athletes today. So, in that respect, we’re willing to give her a pass for this fashion faux pas. Sharapova claimed she wanted to try a different look for the Russian magazine version of Tattler, but the cover itself shows Sharapova in granny panties.There’s really no other way to describe it–it looks like something out of a “Little House on the Prairie” episode. Not that there’s anything wrong with that, because as a horny adolescent, Melissa Gilbert did tickle my fancy.

But that’s a whole other story between a young boy, some tube socks, and some private time in an upstairs lavatory.

Back to Sharapova–we’re not going to complain too much here because the photos on the inside of the mag are actually rather flattering. Although, I think we can all admit she’s far overdue for another bikini spread sometime in the near future. If she’s not going to win on the tennis court, she might as well sex it up as much as she can. It kept fellow Russian Anna Kournikova in the spotlight much longer than she ever deserved.

Photo: Maria Sharapova in odd outfit on magazine cover [Yahoo]

I wonder if the panties match the bra?

Anna Kournikova is one of those ladies that could be doing just about anything and I would probably share the photos with you. So it’s even better when she heads out on the town in a see-through top showing her sexy little leopard-print bra. She’s such a hottie that I am even willing to overlook the fact that that Enrique Iglesias guy is in some of these photos. Just try to focus on her legs and the bra. That’s what I did.

What she is not, however, is a fatty. So while Jon Lovitz considers himself a comedian, I consider him an idiot.

Video via Bob’s Blitz:

Here’s some more pics of Kournikova at the Chris Evert Pro-Celebrity Tennis Classic:

Anna Kournikova will take time out of her insanely busy schedule of giving men erections to help some fat people. How incredibly kind of her to rub in how hot she is to people who have no self esteem.

Fantastic idea.

The Russian star will lead 15 contestants on the “Biggest Loser” in a tennis workout. Because if there’s one person who can really show you how it’s done in tennis, it’s the lady who never won a single, goddamn tournament. But I digress.

The episode will air Oct. 5th. So if you’re like me, it will be the first and last time you watch the show.

Over the weekend, Oakland Athletics ballboy Kevin Fennell did his best “Ladies Man” impression. After snaring a foul ball, Fennell ran it over to a lucky young gal in the stands. And although he was booed mercilessly by the crowd, he did succeed in getting her phone number.

As a tribute to Mr. Fennell’s ability to barter foul balls for digits, here’s a glimpse at other ballboys who have shined in the past.

10 Brazilian referee oblivious to ballboy’s shenanigans; allows goal to stand

9 Boy does his job with enthusiasm and little restrain for opponents’ groin

8 He may look lazy but this ballboy performs a picture perfect header

7 This lucky lad gets to play with tennis legend Arantxa Sanchez-Vicario

6 Starting in left field for your Atlanta Braves…

5 He’s no Devin Hester but this kid sure has an incredible speed burst

4 Has a member of the “utility staff” has ever gotten a technical foul before?

3 Wonder if he gets on the score sheet with that assist?

2 Ballboy makes an incredible catch diving into the stands

1 Cheeky little fella shows up soccer star Steven Gerrard

Whether Anna Kournikova is actually a baseball fan is of no concern to me. Anytime an “athlete” of her caliber struts onto a baseball diamond in dazzy dukes, we should all feel blessed to have seen it.

The Cardinals even let her throw out the first pitch–how nice of them. By the way, can somebody tell Fredbird not to ogle so much. Just because he has that ridiculous costume on, doesn’t mean we don’t notice he’s pitching a tent.

Celebrity gossip items you may have missed this week…

>>> Elin Nordegren is rich. Like really, really rich. She is reportedly set to receive $750 million in her divorce from Tiger Woods (or $100 million depending on who you believe). Now that, my friends, is what I like to call “one expensive hot piece of ass”. Yep. Just made that up.

>>> Let’s get right to the Lindsay Lohan news of the week. Lilo got punched in the face. At least according to her, as she tweeted, “A waitress just hit me – punched me for no reason.” Oh, I am sure she had a reason, Lindsay. Maybe you stole something from her too.

>>> Mel Gibson is still a raving racist lunatic, at least if you think saying things like, “You look like a f***ing pig in heat, and if you get raped by a pack of n***ers, it will be your fault.” to his soon-to-be ex-wife qualifies one as a raving racist lunatic, that is. Oh yeah, he is also accused of beating up his soon-to-be ex-wife. That too.

>>> Katy Perry and Anna Kournikova were on the same TV show at the same time and somehow men of the world did not die from an erection lasting longer than four hours.

>>> Jason Bateman’s PR people apologized for him being a dick. Well, technically he apologized for cutting in line at the Apple store, but like he really gives a sh-t.

>>> Britney Spears is being investigated for child abuse. Now? Now she’s being investigated? Not when she was rolling around town with her kids not in child seats? Not when she was shaving her head and talking in a British accent? Now?

>>> David Caruso is still kind of a dick.

>>> Lady Gaga finally came out of the closet and admitted she is, in fact, a man. That or she just tried another lame publicity stunt. One of those things.

>>> Oprah is back on top of the Forbes 100 Most Powerful Celebrities list. Last year’s leader Angelina Jolie (who says she wants to quit acting) is down to #18.

>>> Remember Amy Locane? From 90210 (the old one)? Well, she’s been charged with second-degree vehicular homicide and third-degree assault by auto for a little DUI escapade she had a while back. However, if she’s lucky and goes the Rebecca Gayheart route she’ll be free to participate in lame sex tapes and her life will go one as if no one got killed.

>>> Vince Neil got arrested. For DUI. In other words, “Duh.”

>>> Madonna doesn’t like Lady Gaga, because she thinks Lady Gaga is copying her. Typing that sentence almost made me take a pencil and stab my brain through my eyeball. Almost time to stop for the day.

>>> Tonya Harding got married again. Seriously.

>>> And finally in more news no one cares about, former Miss California Carrie Prejean and horrible NFL quarterback Kyle Boller are getting married. Let’s just pray that there isn’t another lame reality TV show coming somewhere down the line featuring these two dopes.

I know what big fans you all are of Anna Kournikova (Hell, who isn’t?) so when I saw these photos of her leaving the gym in Miami I figured you’d like to see them. Oh sure, they’re kind of boring, what with her being all dressed and such, but hey it’s Anna Kournikova in Spandex… What doid you have to do this morning that’s better than looking at Anna in skintight clothing? Yeah, that’s what I thought…

I was always under the impression that the term “Legends” referred to people who had transcended a sport or at the very least, WON A SINGLE TOURNAMENT. Not so in the case of Anna Kournikova, who will be playing in the Wimbledon Legends double event with fellow hottie Martina Hingis.

To Kournikova’s credit, she is an accomplished doubles player winning 16 titles in her career. But being good at doubles tennis is akin to scoring with the fat girl at prom. It’s there and you don’t necessarily want to, but you need to brush up on your technique.

Kournikova will be playing with Martina Hingis who was banned from tennis for 2 years for a positive cocaine test. She vehemently denied the charge although she never appealed it. If you ask me though, she always looked a bit strung out.

And who knew her and Kournikova were this close? Damn, I should have been paying closer attention to all those doubles matches.

Ana Ivanovic is having a tough time on the courts these days. She lost in the 2nd round of the Australian Open last month and then just a few days ago had a poor showing at the Fed Ex Cup.

Now it’s much too early for her to consider hanging up her tennis shoes, but if she ever does, she definitely has a career as a swimsuit model.

Here are some pics of Ivanovic in this week’s SI Swimsuit edition. And while she’s not in Anna Kournikova’s neighborhood yet, I think its fair to say she makes a compelling argument for hottest tennis star in the world today.

What Anna Kournikova lacks in overall tennis skill, she certainly makes up for in charitable causes.

Kournikova, along with former tennis coach Nick Bollettieri, Billy Ray Cyrus and comedian Dave Attell traveled to Kabul to entertain the troops in the annual USO holiday tour.

We don’t know how much entertaining Anna was doing. Outside of signing some autographs and just looking hot overall, there’s not much else she can do.

But she really does deserve some credit here as this is her 3rd time doing the USO tour. She definitely parlayed her celebrity status and crappy tennis career into something noble. Unlike Kim Kardashian….who parlayed being a skank on a sextape to being a skank on a reality show to being a skank in real life.

Nice progression there.

An awkwardly missed high five between teammates Serena Williams and Anna Kournikova at a charity tennis event in Baton Rouge last night.

1981… Iran releases the 52 Americans held for 444 days, ending the Iran hostage crisis. The Oakland Raiders defeat the Philadelphia Eagles 27–10 in Super Bowl XV. President Reagan is shot in the chest by John Hinckley, Jr. Major League Baseball goes on strike. And this amazing set of beautiful women were born… (Side note: This is arguably the best year for women being born ever.)

For the next several weeks we will be taking a look at the sexiest women born between the years 1962 and 1991, culminating with you deciding which of these over 300 women is our 2010 Sexiest Woman of the Year. Each birth year offers something special with beautiful women representing countries around the globe. These lists feature actresses, models, singers, athletes… Trust me, no one is left out.

(Click the pics to see more of each lady.)

Be sure to vote at the end of this post for who you think is the sexiest of this group!

- – - – - – - – 1981 – - – - – - – -

Adriana Lima (Brazilian model) – – – – – – – – – Christina Milian (American singer)

Alessandra Ambrósio (Brazilian model) – – – – – – – – – Jessica Alba (American actress)

Anna Kournikova (Russian model) – – – – – – – – – Ivanka Trump (American model)

Rachel Bilson (American actress) – – – – – – – – – Sienna Miller (British actress)

Beyonce Knowles (American singer) – – – – – – – – – Natalie Portman (American actress)

Ana Hickmann (Brazilian model) – – – – – – – – – Summer Glau (American actress)

CLICK HERE TO VIEW AND VOTE FOR THE LADIES OF OTHER YEARS!

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