Are Justin Timberlake, Ashley Olsen hooking up?
“They’re really trying to keep it on the down-low.”

Halle Berry to star in TV series?
“Higher Learning would feature Berry, 44, as a college professor.”

Hulk Hogan engaged in the “Ultimate” Twitter beef
“Jim Hellwig uploaded a YouTube video in which he claimed to own a ‘huge piece of real estate’ inside the psyche of the 57-year-old reality star.”

Jennifer Hudson joins Three Stooges cast
“Hudson will play one of the nuns in the orphanage where the Stooges spend some time as children…”

Jason Bateman talks Arrested Development movie
“As far as I know, [creator] Mitchell Hurwitz is working on the script and he wants to start shooting at some point this year.”

Rihanna’s “Man Down” video slammed for violence
“‘Man Down’ is an inexcusable, shock-only, shoot-and-kill theme song.”

Bradley Cooper, Olivia Wilde “definitely hooking up”
“Olivia acted jealous when other girls came up to him.”

Scarlett Johansson and Sean Penn split
“Speculation about the pair began after Johansson did not attend the Cannes Film Festival with Penn for his movie The Tree of Life.”

Ryan Phillippe, Amanda Seyfried split again
“They were never fully committed.”

Arnold Schwarzenegger hires Jennifer Aniston’s divorce lawyer
“His former Hollywood clients have included Reese Witherspoon and Jessica Simpson.”

TODAY’S VIDEO
Leighton Meester stars in a new commercial for Vera Wang.

President Trump? ‘We think it’s a stunt,’ says an NBC exec
“If he wants to spout off about things, we’re happy to let him. But our inclination is that he’s not serious about running for president. We think it’s a stunt.”

Rebecca Black under police protection following death threats
“One of the threats came over the phone and another emailed.”

Lady Gaga calls Madonna plagiarism charges “retarded”
“I’m a songwriter. I’ve written loads of music. Why would I try to put out a song and think I’m getting one over on everybody?”

After much ado, Lady Gaga approves ‘Weird Al’ Yankovic parody
“Yankovic said the singer’s manager has apologized to him for the mix-up…”

Dr. Dre victorious in lawsuit against Death Row Records
“Dre will now receive all of the online sales for his classic album, while Death Row can only sell the album in CD, 8-track, vinyl or cassette form…”

Catherine Zeta-Jones: ‘There is no need to suffer silently’
“If my revelation of having bipolar II has encouraged one person to seek help, then it is worth it.”

Lindsay Lohan dropped then added back to Gotti flick
“Lindsay is no longer going to play Victoria Gotti … but instead will take on the role of John Gotti Jr.’s daughter-in-law Kim.”

50 Cent joins Nicole Scherzinger tor ‘Right There’ music video
“‘Well, I was really wanting to date her,’ the rapper said with a grin.”

Chris Martin hates Gwyneth Paltrow’s pretentious dinner parties
“It’s a little odd when your hubby doesn’t want to talk at a party promoting your project, no?”

Justin Timberlake to host Saturday Night Live
“…while he’s never officially joined the cast of the show, JT has made it clear that he’s right at home on the long-running sketch comedy program.”

Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen unveil new optical line
“Just one week after announcing their new online shopping site, the Olsen twins are at it again.”

TODAY’S VIDEO
Jessica Simpson behind the scenes of her shoot for People’s “50 Most Beautiful People” issue.

The most ridiculous part is at 3:33 when it comes time for a pizza song. It makes me feel like how David Berkowitz when he had a meaningful conversation with his dog.

No wonder these girls are billionaires. This is truly an artistic triumph.

Apparently Warner Brothers and InStyle magazine held a Golden Globes after party and a whole bunch of babes who I didn’t actually see at the event itself were in attendance. Including Lindsay Lohan. Go figure. Anyhoo, the class of women at the after party was as good or better than the event itself, so I share. In order below: Ashley Greene, Evangeline Lilly, Ashley Olsen, Malin Akerman, Isabel Lucas, Maggie Grace, AnnaLyne McCord, Olivia Munn, Ashley Tisdale, Emmanuelle Chriqui, Leslie Bibb, Neve Campbell (still alive!), Jennifer Carpenter (who I did see at the show), Amanda Righetti, Rose McGowan, Jessica Stroup, Molly Sims, Kate Walsh, Kayla Ewell (yum-yum), Rhona Mitra, Vanessa Hudgens, and Lindsay Lohan (looking rather tasty actually).

(To see the babes that were actually at the event, click right over here.)

I only share this with you because at some point along the way many a man was desperate for the Olsen Twins to turn 18. They were hot little minxes in their teens. Unfortunately they have turned out to be MASSIVE disappointments. So these couple of pics of Ashely Olsen sporting a bra for something called V Man magazine are about as good as it’s going to get barring one of them going all Britney or Lindsay on us. Enjoy it as much as you can… okay, not that much…

That wasn’t all Dwayne did to freak out kids though…check him out dressing like Miley Cyrus. Yeah. That’s pretty normal.

The Kids’ Choice Awards is just an odd show. I don’t know what kids like but if I’m judging by this show (and Marlon Wayans’ Miley Cyrus thong joke at the link above), it’s a creepy older man saying borderline lecherous things and then getting doused with sticky viscous liquids. Which is pretty much counterintuitive to all of my adventures in babysitting.

Bonus: The best jizzy sliming ever belongs to 2004′s hit on the Olsen Twins. Skip to 1 minute in.

Who knew that all you had to do to get famous women naked for photoshoots was to put your name on the book title? Given that bit of intel, look forward to my new book “Chris’s Big Book O’ Hollywood Gynecological Exams” in stores next December. The “O’” makes it classy; even classier than the idea of me doing the photoshoots with a camera phone, a shoehorn, and an overly enthusiastic smile on my face.

Below, in order: Angie Harmon, Michelle Trachtenberg, Ashley Olsen (seriously), Mary-Kate Olsen (double seriously), Gina Gershon, Elisha Cuthbert, and Lauren Graham. Way more in the book so check that out.

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