A man walking into a bank demanding $2,000 didn’t get the deal he expected when he was arrested by police after being talked into applying for a loan. Mark Smith, a 59-year-old California man, went into a local bank in the Santa Cruz area with the ]]>

A man walking into a bank demanding $2,000 didn’t get the deal he expected when he was arrested by police after being talked into applying for a loan.

Mark Smith, a 59-year-old California man, went into a local bank in the Santa Cruz area with the intent to steal $2,000. Smith approached a teller saying that he had a bomb in his backpack and would set it off unless he got the money.

But after hearing his demands, the bank’s manager suggested that Smith should just take out a loan instead. The manager told Smith that she’d go to get the paperwork for him to fill out.

Only instead, she dialed 911.

Police arrested Smith, charging him with attempted robbery, making criminal threats, and making a false bomb report since Smith didn’t actually have a bomb.

I kind of feel bad for Smith because he’s so obviously in over his head. I get not actually carrying a bomb but making a bomb threat to try to get money. But you can’t not carry a bomb AND get talked into taking out a loan. What did he think, they’d go, “Hmm, let’s check the credit of this gentleman. He seems like an upstanding fellow.” I don’t think his penchant for stupid fake bomb-related decisions would show up on his credit score, but I’d like to believe it’d be a factor in his loan approval. It’s hard to make loan payments when you’re busy wrapping a ticking clock in a towel and playing Bomberman to strategize for your criminal enterprise.

Man claiming to have a bomb in Watsonville bank gets talked into filling out loan paperwork, then arrested [Santa Cruz Sentinel]

I don’t know where I was when this video first went online like a month ago, but this kid freaking out over World of Warcraft tickled my fancy on an otherwise dark morning.

This is exactly what my tantrums look like when my girlfriend won’t put out. And how ]]>

I don’t know where I was when this video first went online like a month ago, but this kid freaking out over World of Warcraft tickled my fancy on an otherwise dark morning.

This is exactly what my tantrums look like when my girlfriend won’t put out. And how could she possibly resist after seeing me so manly and powerful like this?

I’m kind of already in a bad mood today and will now use this opportunity to vent on Bank of America. Apparently when I buy a large purchase and try to ship it to a different address other than my billing address, this makes Bank of America go, “WAITAMINUTE NO WAY!” They also require me to TELL THEM when I’m making a big purchase, otherwise they’ll think it’s fraud. So basically Bank of America is acting as though it’s my father, or the rich old guy that I’m sleeping with who takes care of me in exchange for tooting on his crusty old cock. I seriously f’ing hate banks and am one step away from either storing everything in my mattress or creating an entirely new type of currency made with my face on it and a thumbs up. Sure, most places won’t accept it. But when I find one that does…jackpot.

Here’s a funny one as the economy goes to the crapter and banks charge you for everything in the hopes of remaining vaguely profitable…apparently, in addition to late fees, you can now get charged a late fee by Capital One for paying too early.

Too subtle?

Bank of America was a recipient of $45 billion in bailout money from the government, so they’re really getting fiscally responsible. For example: They only spent $10 million on sponsoring the NFL Experience event at the Super Bowl.

According to the Bank of America, the official ]]>

Bank of America was a recipient of $45 billion in bailout money from the government, so they’re really getting fiscally responsible. For example: They only spent $10 million on sponsoring the NFL Experience event at the Super Bowl.

According to the Bank of America, the official bank of the NFL, its NFL partnerships and product tie-tins “generate significant revenue streams.” The bank said it was legally required to fulfill its contract to be an NFL sponsor and that its NFL product sales had already increased since the Experience began Jan. 24.

The bank refused to tell ABC News how much it is spending as an NFL corporate sponsor, but insiders have put the figure at close to $10 million. The NFL Experience was on top of that and was inked last summer, according to the bank.

Schatz said that deal or no deal, the event sponsorship should have been abdicated once the bank took billions in bailout funds.

“The Super Bowl is a big deal, but it’s a bigger deal that Bank of America is being bailed out by the America taxpayers,” [watchdog group president Tom] Schatz said. “This is an exceptional year and it’s a time to say we’re not going to do business as usual. We’re going to say no, we’re going to show some restraint, and we’re going to cut back on something that really isn’t absolutely necessary.”

On first glance I could see how this would piss a lot of people off since not only did banks prove they run their business about as effectively as a retarded chimp, but also other bailout recipients such as GM pulled out of their Super Bowl commitments. But still, it could be a lot worse. At least there wasn’t the previously planned Bank of America Hookers and Cocaine for the Sponsors Tent or The First Annual Bill Belichick Takes a Hot Wing Shit on a Pile of Government Bonds Halftime Show Sponsored by Bank of America. The latter of which would be extra silly since not only would they have had to buy the government bonds and Bill Belichick’s endorsement, but also the hot wings. Sure two of those alone might have made fiscal sense but dammit, not all three.

I’m kind of on Bank of America’s side for this one. Yeah, maybe it’s not brilliant spending $10 mil on a sponsorship at this time but at least they’re trying something to get customers beyond shrugging their shoulders and asking the government for more money. Bank of America could be buying sandwiches for poor kids and politicians would be calling for a public castration followed by a flogging with dildos. Which, while entertaining, won’t generate much revenue.

[source]