You remember that freaky girl from The Ring right? The one with the long hair covering her eyes. Well, in Japan, the girl is a national treasure and is allowed to do pretty much whatever she wants. So when she asks to throw out the first ]]>

You remember that freaky girl from The Ring right? The one with the long hair covering her eyes. Well, in Japan, the girl is a national treasure and is allowed to do pretty much whatever she wants. So when she asks to throw out the first pitch, everyone obliges lest they incur her wrath (1:30 in).

The wrath in this case may involve her striking you repeatedly with her fancy new cleats. I’m on to your charade little girl!

This umpire’s name is Frank Rios and in his spare time, he works as a Hollywood stunt double. Watch as he avoids the line drive and yet still recovers to make the call at 1st base.

Well done sir.

You’re infinitely better at your job than ]]>

This umpire’s name is Frank Rios and in his spare time, he works as a Hollywood stunt double. Watch as he avoids the line drive and yet still recovers to make the call at 1st base.

You’re infinitely better at your job than Jim Joyce, who, by the way, screwed the Tigers again last night.

You remember that uncomfortable scene from Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan right? Yes, I fully realize there’s more than one uncomfortable part. Bear with me here. I’m talking about the scene where he’s wrestling around with another guy….NAKED. Yea, ]]>

You remember that uncomfortable scene from Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan right? Yes, I fully realize there’s more than one uncomfortable part. Bear with me here. I’m talking about the scene where he’s wrestling around with another guy….NAKED. Yea, that one.

Well somebody at Safeco Field thought it was a great idea to play it on the monitors. And thankfully, someone was there to snap a pic.

Tremendous.

What initially looked like gay porn is just really, uh, fake gay porn.

Craig Gass via SportsGrid

What initially looked like a botched bunt turned into one of the weirdest triple plays you’ll ever see. Home plate umpire Dale Scott appeared to have called a foul ball off the bat of Jesus Guzman but Dodgers catcher A.J. Ellis quickly relayed the ball to third base. There, the ]]>

What initially looked like a botched bunt turned into one of the weirdest triple plays you’ll ever see. Home plate umpire Dale Scott appeared to have called a foul ball off the bat of Jesus Guzman but Dodgers catcher A.J. Ellis quickly relayed the ball to third base. There, the play went around the horn for three consecutive outs. On replay, the ball clearly landed in foul territory before getting picked up.

The scene was wild as the Padres vehemently protested the call to no avail. Bud Black was subsequently ejected in the aftermath.

Ah, Opening Day! A great American tradition. A time to take in a ball game, a time to enjoy a beer with friends, and a time to throw down with opposing fans. Way to go Padres.

“I’m Ron Burgundy, you stay classy San Diego.”

That’s just Ozzie Guillen by Ozzie. Unfortunately, that saying doesn’t fly when it comes to comments about the unpleasant ruler of Cuba. Last week in an interview, Guillen made some remarks about Fidel Castro. “He’s a bull … dictator and everybody’s against him and he still survives, has power. … ]]>

That’s just Ozzie Guillen by Ozzie. Unfortunately, that saying doesn’t fly when it comes to comments about the unpleasant ruler of Cuba. Last week in an interview, Guillen made some remarks about Fidel Castro. “He’s a bull … dictator and everybody’s against him and he still survives, has power. … I don’t admire his philosophy, I admire him.”

Ahead of his press conference this afternoon, the Miami Marlins subsequently suspended him five games. This GIF aptly characterizes how Ozzie feels about that.

J.P. Arencibia has played one full season with the Blue Jays and he’s already the most popular player in Toronto. Although, in fairness, we’re basing his popularity solely on these two lovely ladies spotted during last night’s game.

Creative yet whorish. I ]]>

J.P. Arencibia has played one full season with the Blue Jays and he’s already the most popular player in Toronto. Although, in fairness, we’re basing his popularity solely on these two lovely ladies spotted during last night’s game.

Creative yet whorish. I approve.

We’ve taken our fair share of screencaps over the years but none compare to this one of Tim McCarver. Perfect timing, perfect face, perfect everything. Thank you Tim for providing us mere mortals with such a fantastic moment.

In honor of baseball’s opening weekend we wanted to give you saber-metrics and stats fanatics some eye candy to digest. We’re no strangers to infographics here at Guyism, so to kick off America’s greatest pastime we bring you 7 of the greatest baseball infographics.

What exactly is this Yankees fan doing at a Rangers-White Sox game? I’m not quite sure. But his wild gesticulations make him our annoying fan of Opening Day. Congrats sir. You just drew attention away from the Fox Sports Southwest girls. Those pretty ladies deserved better.

There’s two classifications for cheap shots. One is more of a pat, a somewhat friendly “ha-ha, let me punch you in the nuts.” Not exactly harmful. More toilet humor than anything. The clip that always comes to mind for this is Randall Simon swinging his bat at the

There’s two classifications for cheap shots. One is more of a pat, a somewhat friendly “ha-ha, let me punch you in the nuts.” Not exactly harmful. More toilet humor than anything. The clip that always comes to mind for this is Randall Simon swinging his bat at the sausage mascot folks (still makes me laugh some five years later).

The other kind of cheap shot is the one that gets people hurt. It’s the one nobody laughs at. It’s the Kermit Washington-Rudy T punch. It’s Marty McSorley hitting Donald Brashear with a stick on the head.

This clip below is of the second variety, although thankfully, no one appears seriously hurt (via @JimmyTraina).

No, Gregg Williams did not have a bounty on that second baseman’s head. At least, we hope not. Here’s a GIF in case you want to watch it over and over.

For those who live in a market that is plagued with truly horrendous local baseball, or simply want more MLB in their lives, specifically on Xbox 360, there’s an app for that. The MLB.tv app to be precise, available right this second.

Earlier today, the latest ]]>

For those who live in a market that is plagued with truly horrendous local baseball, or simply want more MLB in their lives, specifically on Xbox 360, there’s an app for that. The MLB.tv app to be precise, available right this second.

Earlier today, the latest round of video apps were released for Microsoft’s game machine, including HBO GO and Comcast Xfinity TV, but neither of those really matter. Again, what’s the point of having a HBO app if you’re already subscribe to cable? The MLB.TV app on the other hands is worth noting.

It’s essentially the same thing that PS3 owners have been enjoying for some time now, but with a few improvements, including an exclusive split-screen mode that allows a person to watch two games at once.

Both can be live, one can be live and the other a recap, or both can be recap. And everything can be controlled via the Kinect, naturally. Sure you have to be a Xbox Live Gold member (in addition to a MLB.tv account, naturally), but who isn’t these days?

Despite having zero familiarity with sports, even I know that the Chicago Cubs are a sad sack team that hasn’t won the World Series in 103 years. So I have to wonder if MLB 12 The Show‘s commercial will make Cubs fans smile wistfully or scream bloody murder.

Again, ]]>

Despite having zero familiarity with sports, even I know that the Chicago Cubs are a sad sack team that hasn’t won the World Series in 103 years. So I have to wonder if MLB 12 The Show‘s commercial will make Cubs fans smile wistfully or scream bloody murder.

Again, due my complete and utter lack of first-hand knowledge regarding sports (hey, that guy who prayed a lot, is he still in the news?), I must rely upon Twitter and YouTube comments to answer the question above. And despite a few “Sony totally trolled us” sentiments, most love the spot.

Totally wasn’t expecting that! In fact, there’s more than a few in which the respondent has claimed that it made them cry. These are grown men I’m assuming. Jesus, you sports fans are WEIRD.

There are numerous types of gamers, but when you get down to it, they can boiled down to either one of two types: casual and hardcore gamers. For years, designers have tried making both audiences happy, but at long last, someone’s finally discovered the winning formula.

Get ready for the ]]>

There are numerous types of gamers, but when you get down to it, they can boiled down to either one of two types: casual and hardcore gamers. For years, designers have tried making both audiences happy, but at long last, someone’s finally discovered the winning formula.

Get ready for the Cascore revolution, which seeks to bring both groups together, and have them play as one. And who’s the genius behind this movement? Why Peter Molydeux! Not Peter Molyneux, the man responsible for Fable and other Lionhead titles, aka gaming’s equivalent to PT Barnum…

Peter Molydeux is actually a parody Twitter account, which pokes fun at the real deal’s hyperbole. He’s quite the hit amongst gaming industry types, but I’m pretty sure anyone can enjoy the fake game designer’s fake game ideas. Here’s another, in which you actually assume the role of Peter Molyneux himself, aka God’s gift to video games. And who will make you believe that a tree can help you fly into outer space…

BTW, some have noticed that the Cascore title has more than a passing resemblance to Suda 51′s Diabolical Pitch, which also combines casual gameplay… in this case, throwing an imaginary baseball, a la Wii Sports… and killing zombies. Though Peter Molydeux has a reason for that…

And apparently MLB Bobblehead Pros is not that bad? So now you can try and have bobbleheaded [insert name of your fave ball player] hit a ball right at the now bouncy skull of bobbleheaded [insert name of your most hated ball player].

So I came across this not too ]]>

And apparently MLB Bobblehead Pros is not that bad? So now you can try and have bobbleheaded [insert name of your fave ball player] hit a ball right at the now bouncy skull of bobbleheaded [insert name of your most hated ball player].

So I came across this not too long ago, on a site that specializes in Japanese video game news…

My initial thought was “only in Japan!” But lo and behold, it’s a game that came out in America first (yes, the fact that it’s all American teams should have been my first clue… sorry, but I don’t know jack about baseball). Earlier this summer to be precise, on Xbox Live…

After some light searching, reviews are on the favorable side! What appears to be a license heavy, but that’s about it, version of the baseball activity from Wii Sports is a full deal game with a certain degree of depth and finesse! It doesn’t have all the hardcore features that a major league sim has, but for about $10, one can’t complain.

Unfortunately, no PS3 version is available, far as I can tell (via PSN’s sh*t interface). Which means your only option is to import that Japanese version, which is a retail release, and costly about 4 times more, and that’s BEFORE accounting for shipping and handling and other import fees. lol, Sony.

Entrepreneurship begins at an early age. Sometimes it’s a lemonade stand, other times it’s learning where your mom keeps her “Mommy Happy Juice” money. Other times, it’s bringing a hula hoop to a Milwaukee Brewers game and entertaining the drunks. This kid is clearly thinking.

The YouTube video description ]]>

Entrepreneurship begins at an early age. Sometimes it’s a lemonade stand, other times it’s learning where your mom keeps her “Mommy Happy Juice” money. Other times, it’s bringing a hula hoop to a Milwaukee Brewers game and entertaining the drunks. This kid is clearly thinking.

The YouTube video description claims that the kid is ten years old and made $33, primarily from a bus full of drunk frat boys who came to the game on a party bus. Way to know your audience, kid. If there’s any body who’s going to drunkenly gravitate towards mediocre hip movements and dubious parenting, it’s a bunch of frat boys. They’d never be able to get off without great appreciation for both of those things.

At first glance, you wouldn’t think that the building and/or existence of a foul-ball pole could be that interesting. After all, um, it’s a pole, you know?

But the Padres and Taylormade Golf teamed up for a pretty fantastic little promotion out at PETCO.

Er, actually, “little” is ]]>

At first glance, you wouldn’t think that the building and/or existence of a foul-ball pole could be that interesting. After all, um, it’s a pole, you know?

But the Padres and Taylormade Golf teamed up for a pretty fantastic little promotion out at PETCO.

Er, actually, “little” is a terrible word — the foul pole is a actually gigantic R-11 driver, Taylormade’s newest product.

The head of the club isn’t “real,” but is painted on the wall at the stadium. The shaft, however, is very much real, is 80-feet tall, weighs 960 pounds, and is positioned squarely in right field.

Even better, the marketing geniuses — and whether or  not I said “geniuses” to draw in some lurking PR person who’s interested in sending me a golf club to demo is really none of your business — decided to to create a time-lapse video out of the project, which is below.

It’s quite cool, really.

And an impressive way to create a partnership between a sports team and a big, relevant brand in today’s economy.

“The launch of the R11 driver has become larger than life for our industry, so we wanted to continue the momentum with a larger than life integration with the San Diego Padres,” said Mark King, president and CEO of TaylorMade-adidas Golf Company in a release.

H/T: Darren Rovell

People seem to either love or hate Twitter. It’s a great means of communication or it’s an annoying way to tell the world what you had for breakfast.

But put your opinions aside for a few minutes and enjoy what Kevin Zelko’s doing at Mariners’ baseball ]]>

People seem to either love or hate Twitter. It’s a great means of communication or it’s an annoying way to tell the world what you had for breakfast.

But put your opinions aside for a few minutes and enjoy what Kevin Zelko’s doing at Mariners’ baseball games: taking beer orders via Twitter.

A beer vendor for the M’s, Zelko’s doing yeoman’s work to revolutionize the sale of suds at Safeco with his Twitter account @MsBeerVendor.

“Since the beginning of beer vendors, we’ve been walking up and down the aisles seeing who wants a beer, I’m going to try to change that,” Zelko said in an interview he did with CNBC’s Darren Rovell.

The numbers, in terms of sales are pretty good: 80 beers ($125 in tips) on a normal weekday game and 100 beers (~$200 in tips) on weekends.

Folks are embracing it, as fans have actually tweeted things like “Can’t wait to head to the park on Friday and order with @MsBeerVendor!” (That’s actually fake, but you get the point.)

“I come from a family of stockbrokers,” said Zelko, who’s a teacher for special-needs children during the day. “Selling things is easy for us.”

Fortunately for him, beer’s an easy sell at baseball game. In fact, there’s really no reason why more ballparks shouldn’t hop on board with Zelko’s idea. (Or whether some enterprising person should patent an iPhone app that lets you order beer at a certain park …)

Really, the only problem is the fact that wireless service, regardless of the provider, always seems to fail whenever you get in a crowd of more than 10,000 people.

Alright, “on your phone” is a bit misleading, because the homemade “app” that Baseball Reference offers readers isn’t really an “app.” But it’s still a fantastic way to access baseball’s best statistical database on the go.

Added bonus: getting it on your phone is stupid simple.