In our continuing series taking a look at some of most legendary ladies men, today we will discuss the alleged sexual history of Leonardo DiCaprio. The man who was once in charge of “The Pussy Posse.” Derek Jeter’s sexual history is impressive, Wilder ]]>

In our continuing series taking a look at some of most legendary ladies men, today we will discuss the alleged sexual history of Leonardo DiCaprio. The man who was once in charge of “The Pussy Posse.” Derek Jeter’s sexual history is impressive, Wilder Valderrama’s is mind-boggling, but neither of them hold a candle to Leo. There’s a reason he’s 37 and never been married. With a list like this, would you get married?

Note: There are so many we’re just going to combine years with a few in the interest of brevity.

Brittany Daniel, Bridget Hall, Naomi Campbell (1994-1995)

A hot actress and two supermodels, Leo was just getting started. Mind you he was 19 in 1994.

Claire Danes & Kristen Zang (1995-1997)

Leo is firmly establishing his M.O. of only dating hot actresses and models. He’s turns 21 during this time frame.

Kate Winslet, Linnea Dietrichson, Helena Christensen (1997)

Leo now has Titanic under his belt, giving him even more ammunition, and he uses it wisely.

Bijou Phillips, Amber Valletta, Eva Herzigova (1998)

1998 was a very good year. He really was King of the World!

Gisele Bundchen (2000-2005)

Breaking his pattern it was just one woman for Leo now, but it was the highest paid model in the world.

Trishelle Cannatella (2002)

Whoops, did we say just one woman? Well, she was on The Real World, a Playboy model and a future Lingerie Football League player, so…

Sienna Miller (2005)

Leo, being the savvy guy that he is, briefly took advantage of Sienna and Jude Law’s relationship issues.

Bar Refaeli (2006-2011)

Here’s the one that we thought would stick. And it did for a long time, but we should have known better.

Ashley Roberts & Anne Vyalitsyna (2009)

Bar and Leo had some issues. (Note the date.)

Blake Lively & Alyce Crawford (2011)

He moved on nicely though.

Kendal Schuler & Madalina Ghenea (2011)

Did I mention he moved on nicely?

Erin Heatherton (2011-Present)

Leo’s 2011 was better than 99.9999% of every man in the world’s entire lifetime with regard to dating women. I’d strut too if I was him.

Other less-substantiated alleged flings…

Hold on… it’s quite a list…

Bobbie Brown, Emma Bunton, Karen Butler, Mariah Carey, Carmen Electra, Heather Graham, Monica Hansen, Vanessa Hayden, Natasha Henstridge, Lauren Holly, Rachel Hunter, Sara Foster, Paris Hilton, Kendra Jade, Kidada Jones, Carmen Kass, Virginie Ledoyen, Juliette Lewis, Lindsay Lohan, Demi Moore, Kate Moss, Carla Paneka, Tawney Sablan, Ashley Scott, Alicia Silverstone, Jessica Simpson, Alyssa Sourovoya, Vanessa Trump, and Liv Tyler, phew!

When will people learn to stop screwing with Mexican drug cartels? Those guys chop off heads more often than I eat pizza. And I eat a lot of pizza. The trailer for Oliver Stone’s new flick Savages just dropped, and it’s looking sleazy and violent – just like I ]]>

When will people learn to stop screwing with Mexican drug cartels? Those guys chop off heads more often than I eat pizza. And I eat a lot of pizza. The trailer for Oliver Stone’s new flick Savages just dropped, and it’s looking sleazy and violent – just like I like it. Taylor Kirsch and Aaron Johnson play two dealers who get in Dutch with the Mexicans. Salma Hayek and Benicio del Toro play the Mexicans. And Blake Lively plays a girl who bangs everybody. Tickets bought, don’t bother me until the movie comes out.

It’s been awhile since we heard anything out of Blake Lively. Pretty much since she and Leo DiCaprio broke up, so it was nice today to see these hot pics from the latest issue of Elle magazine show up on the Internet. I wonder if ]]>

It’s been awhile since we heard anything out of Blake Lively. Pretty much since she and Leo DiCaprio broke up, so it was nice today to see these hot pics from the latest issue of Elle magazine show up on the Internet. I wonder if she’s still dating Ryan Reynolds or if she’s back on the market again. Tweet me, Blake. Let’s talk.

Maybe Blake Lively and Leonardo DiCaprio weren’t so much in love after all. Word on the street is that both of them have already moved on and are dating new pretty people. In fact, Leo has moved on to two of them. Just weeks after ]]>

Maybe Blake Lively and Leonardo DiCaprio weren’t so much in love after all. Word on the street is that both of them have already moved on and are dating new pretty people. In fact, Leo has moved on to two of them.

Just weeks after her split from Leonardo DiCaprio, Blake Lively and her Green Lantern costar have been romancing each other in Boston and NYC. One witness spotted Reynolds (he officially divorced Scarlett Johansson in July) having an “affectionate” goodbye with Lively, 24, at 5 a.m. at Boston’s South Station. (Reynolds, 33, is currently shooting action film’ R.I.P.D.’ in Beantown.)

That’s not really the best part of this story though. The best part is that Leo has apparently moved on in perhaps an even bigger way, reportedly being linked to not one, but two Australian models.

While in Sydney filming ‘The Great Gatsby’ for director Baz Luhrmann, DiCaprio, 36, has been a frequent guest at the Beach Haus nightclub, where he’s been loving “meeting the Aussie girls,” a club insider tells Australia’s ‘WHO’ magazine.

The first model is reported to be Alyce Crawford, 21, and the second is named Kendal Schuler, 20. Pretty inspiring work for a 36 year-old, if I do say so myself. (Note: The first row of pics below is Alyce, the second row is Kendal. Which one would you choose?)

Now the only question left is, who do you hate more, Ryan for banging Scarlett Johansson AND Blake Lively or Leo for scoring not one, but two models at the same time? (Not to mention all his other conquests.)

Blake Lively Rebounds from Leonardo DiCaprio With Ryan Reynolds [Us]
Is Leonardo DiCaprio Dating an Australian Model? Or Two? [People]

Leonardo DiCaprio and Blake Lively have ended their relationship. Well, that didn’t take long. Five months to be exact. So how long do you suppose it will be until we get pictures of Leo and Bar Refaeli hanging out together on the beach? (That seems to ]]>

Leonardo DiCaprio and Blake Lively have ended their relationship. Well, that didn’t take long. Five months to be exact. So how long do you suppose it will be until we get pictures of Leo and Bar Refaeli hanging out together on the beach? (That seems to be his M.O.)

I guess when you’re in Leo’s shoes the old saying that “no matter how hot a woman is there’s some guy out there who is tired of nailing her” is a truism. Even if she is prone to leaking naked photos of herself that aren’t really her. Aww, they still remain friends though according to their reps. Isn’t that nice? I wish I had a rep.

Some day we need to get Derek Jeter and Leonardo DiCaprio together for a reality show on who can bang the most and sexiest starlets. We’ve got Leo with Gisele Bundchen, Bar, and Blake, among others. And Jeter has Minka Kelly, Jessica Alba, and Mariah Carey, just to name a few, under his belt. It’d be quite a competition, I’m telling you.

Blake Lively, Leonardo DiCaprio Split [Us]

Every Friday I swing by Guyism to update you on what stupid things women did in this week’s headlines. What qualifies me to do so? Nothing, really. But I do run a blog called Bitches Can’t Hang, so I guess that’s almost like a degree in Women’s Studies.

With ]]>

Every Friday I swing by Guyism to update you on what stupid things women did in this week’s headlines. What qualifies me to do so? Nothing, really. But I do run a blog called Bitches Can’t Hang, so I guess that’s almost like a degree in Women’s Studies.

With the three-day weekend, bitch activity was uncharacteristically low, but I managed to find enough flubs to keep this ship afloat for yet another week. Special thanks to Blake Lively’s tits, the Parents Television Council, and the repeat sex offenders over at TSA.

Temper Tantrum Bitch of the Week: Amber Rose
Kanye West’s ex-cue ball was more than a little upset this week when Vibe magazine ran a cover story on her that she claims is “untrue & ridiculous.” The ridiculous part I can understand, since this was, after all, an interview with someone who’s only known for having sex with a rapper, but I’m thinking the “untrue” thing is just because the story lacked the element of praise. Silly Amber thought an interview in Vibe was guaranteed positive coverage to help her make a new name for herself. Bitch, you were famous by association, and now you’re unassociated. Either talk to us about the weird shit that Kanye’s into and that one time he brought Taylor Swift over for a threesome, or take your Chia Pet ass elsewhere. Don’t clog up my Twitter feed with your rant about how you “didn’t ask for this life” and it was “handed to you.” Not for nothing, the only thing “handed to you” was a pink slip and a morning after pill, and I’d be willing to bet my last bottle of Mr. Clean that Vibe “didn’t ask” you for this interview. So yo, Imma let you finish, but your ex-boyfriend’s got the best Twitter rants of all time.

Scandalous Bitch of the Week: Blake Lively
As I’d hope you all know by now, a plethora of naked cell phone pics of Ms. Lively leaked this week. I would also hope you only know her because of her role as a slutty oxy dealer in The Town, but who am I to judge if you like to occasionally rub one out to DVR’d episodes of Gossip Girl on mute? Either way, a million people have now seen this girl naked from almost every angle. Most of which are reminiscent of the kind you’d find in a low-budget voyeur film. Bitch can totally hang, right?

Wrong. Blake’s publicist made a statement after the first batch of pics insisting that they weren’t her client, using the one conveniently blurry face shot as evidence. Unfortunately, for us and for that argument, the second round of photos focused much more above-the-waist, complete with Blake’s signature tattoos & beauty marks. Why female celebrities are still sexting their douchey boyfriends titty shots is beyond me, but if you’re going to do it, just own up to it. Shit, if my body looked that good in a grainy iPhone photo, I’d personally mass text it to the cast of Tool Academy. I understand you don’t want the general public thinking that you’re a huge whore, but I honestly think everyone would have been fine with it. Unfortunately now you’re a huge lying whore, and we reached maximum capacity on those after Sarah Palin.

Bitchy Non Profit of the Week: Parents Television Council
First of all, you know anything organized to promote “responsible entertainment” was conceptualized by a group of women, because they need to make sure that television can parent their kids while they’re throwing back a fifth of Barton’s and sobbing into a pan of Hamburger Helper. And also because it’s a stupid idea.

This week, the PTC launched a new campaign to have Rihanna’s “Man Down” video removed from the airwaves, claiming it will incorrectly teach children that violence is a proper reaction to violence. Unfortunately you ladies have yet to realize that a plasma screen is not a suitable replacement for the husband that left you, but that’s beside the point. The song is about a girl getting raped and shooting the guy in revenge. If some sex offender has his way with your daughter and your biggest concern is that she’ll kill him because of something she saw on MTV, it’s safe to say your priorities are more than a little out of whack. How’s about you stop trying to parent the entire country and focus on your own spawn. You know, those two little kids you drop off with a tatted-up preteen every night so you can focus on making the world a more kid-friendly place.

Bitchy Freakout of the Week: TSA Pat-Down Lady
As far as I can tell this broad has yet to be identified, but she’s the star of a viral video that surfaced this week of another TSA freakout at Sky Harbor International Airport over being molested by a security agent. Disregarding the fact that this woman is the wife of the “molested or microwaved” dude from New Year’s and they may just be the biggest publicity-stunt-of-a-family since the Kardashians were manufactured, this video is the final straw for me on this topic. Ladies: The majority of you that feel uncomfortable with having your breasts touched in a pat down most likely feel that way because it’s not a sensation that you’re used to. Which is enough right there to prove that no one wants to grope you. You also are choosing to be manually searched rather than scanned. Don’t give me the “scanner radiation gives you cancer” bit; unless you’re kicking it in there for a few days I think you’ll be okay.

At this point, if so many women are so bothered by heightened security and extended safety measures, I say we start building a second airport right next to all existing airports. We’ll redirect all the whiny bitches to that building, where there won’t be any security at all, and then see what kind of videos they’ve got for YouTube when someone goes Jihad on their JetBlue.

Those leaked naked pics may or may not be Blake Lively, but there’s no arguing the fact that she’s fun to look at even if she’s fully-clothed as evidenced by this photo shoot for the July issue of Glamour magazine. So have you had a chance ]]>

Even if those pics weren't her, I'm still going to pretend that they were...

Those leaked naked pics may or may not be Blake Lively, but there’s no arguing the fact that she’s fun to look at even if she’s fully-clothed as evidenced by this photo shoot for the July issue of Glamour magazine. So have you had a chance to check out the ‘fake’ pics yet? I’m surprised Blake didn’t follow her castmate Leighton Meester’s lead and just completely ignore them. Unless they really are fake. What do you think? Were they her or not?

Blake Lively was at Time magazine’s “World’s Most Influential People” party in New York the other day sporting a new hair color and her usual dose of sexy cleavage. It’s pretty easy to see why she’s so influential, isn’t it? Actually to be honest I don’t even know ]]>

Your wish is my command, Blake...

Blake Lively was at Time magazine’s “World’s Most Influential People” party in New York the other day sporting a new hair color and her usual dose of sexy cleavage. It’s pretty easy to see why she’s so influential, isn’t it? Actually to be honest I don’t even know if she’s on their list, I don’t read magazines that are printed with so many ‘words’ in them. But if she isn’t on their list, she really should be because I don’t know about you, but if Blake asked me to do something, anything, I’d be on it in a heartbeat. That’s influence, folks.

Blake Lively attended the 7th Annual CFDA Vogue Fashion Fund Awards the other day and apparently she liked what she saw out of Nicola McLean and followed suit with a little see-through dress of her own. I hope see-through dresses become the new black in the world of fashion. Also ]]>

And the latest nominee for Dress of the Year is...

Blake Lively attended the 7th Annual CFDA Vogue Fashion Fund Awards the other day and apparently she liked what she saw out of Nicola McLean and followed suit with a little see-through dress of her own. I hope see-through dresses become the new black in the world of fashion. Also I think the length of Blake’s dress should also put sexy women on notice as to the appropriate length for any skirt or dress they might decide to wear to a public event. Enough of this having to use my imagination, I say. (Now if we could just do something about these bras the girls are wearing…)