Guyism » Blind people

VIDEO: Blind guy answers question of ‘How do blind people use paper money?’

Chris Spags — Tue, 27 Sep 2011 18:00:10 +0000

The Blind Film Critic is a blind guy who reviews films (in case his name wasn’t enough of an indicator for you). Now, he’s also reviewing money; in this clip, you’ll see him show how he, as a blind guy, uses paper money in his day-to-day.

I know this may be something rarely uttered, but boy does being blind seem inconvenient. At least he’s got a sense of humor about the whole thing. Because if I were a blind dude, I’d probably spend significant portions of the day cursing the Heavens. I might be yelling in the wrong direction, but I’d like to believe I got my point across effectively.

Somewhere, a Sacajawea coin is sitting there going, “See, if we had more money like me, blind people could have a better quality of life,” only for its owner to close the change jar, leaving it forever ignored once again.

[Thanks for the tip, Harvey!]

The Helen Keller Simulator

Chris Spags — Wed, 20 May 2009 15:30:28 +0000

Just sit back and enjoy what life is like to be Helen Keller.

I’m going to go out on a limb and say that being blind and deaf doesn’t seem too desirable. But at least Helen Keller has carved out a cottage industry from it. Think about it, who else is there whom you could use in a punchline for a joke about being deaf AND blind? Most other famous blind people, like Stevie Wonder or Ray Charles, were given outstanding auditory abilities to balance out their blindness. And other deaf people can, um, make hand gestures to replace coherent words. Boy, those deafies really get the shaft in comparison, eh? Other than the fact that you could f their ear and they’d be totally unaffected. Not sure if that qualifies as a perk, though.

This dog is singing and playing piano

Chris Spags — Tue, 31 Mar 2009 17:19:15 +0000

I think it’s safe to say that I would, and did, watch this about 20 times. Here is Porter. He’s a dog. And he is SINGING and PLAYING PIANO.

In actuality, this is probably how Steve Wonder and Ray Charles’ performances should have turned out. If I were a blind dude and you put me in front of a piano, I’d just stare at you…er…in your general direction and be like, “You f’ing kidding me?” So I admire this dog’s bravery in his performance. And I’m pretty sure he craps on the floor about as often as those aforementioned blind pianists too and is more amenable to being scratched behind the ears. Dog: 1, talented blind people: 0.

[as seen on]

Blind guy on American Idol is blind

Chris Spags — Wed, 14 Jan 2009 15:39:01 +0000

Last night’s American Idol had a blind guy trying out. And he did well. But that’s pretty “who gives a crap” so check out how funny it is when Ryan Seacrest tries to high five him at the end of the clip.

Blind people are awesome. They’re often pretty nice and you can also play games with them, like you say you’re going to help them across the street, but then you walk them halfway and direct them down the double yellow line. Then watch as they flail as they hopelessly try to avoid traffic. Or you can play this fun game where they’re the governor of your state and then admit to drug addictions and repeated adultery, which is hilarious because you just know he was probably snorting baking soda and having sex with mannequins.

Anyway how courageous this guy is blah blah.