Two guys mapped out the shortest possible game of Monopoly you could play and then set out to make it happen. This video is the fruits of their labor. Prepare yourselves for an intense 21 seconds of Monopoly.

You can see the background of the research ]]>

Two guys mapped out the shortest possible game of Monopoly you could play and then set out to make it happen. This video is the fruits of their labor. Prepare yourselves for an intense 21 seconds of Monopoly.

You can see the background of the research here.

Is there any game more overrated than Monopoly in existence though? It always takes hours upon hours to play, loses the “fun” about 15 minutes in, and ends up ruining friendships or family relations irreparably because someone took Oriental Avenue and you were hoping to set up hotels there. And then you try to beat someone to death with the little iron board piece but it doesn’t really do enough damage. Rich Uncle Pennybags could really contract testicular cancer and the world would be a much better place. That’d show him for always hanging around power plants and railroads.

The Shortest Possible Game of Monopoly [Buzzfeed]

With the Internet being a huge part of all of kids’ down time, it’s important to keep tabs on what your kids are doing online. But when trying to find out what got your kid banned from Xbox Live until 12/31/9999 (which, for Microsoft, constitutes “Until the end of time”), ]]>

With the Internet being a huge part of all of kids’ down time, it’s important to keep tabs on what your kids are doing online. But when trying to find out what got your kid banned from Xbox Live until 12/31/9999 (which, for Microsoft, constitutes “Until the end of time”), you may want to be prepared for the gory truth of your parenting failure.

Well, it’s better than showing your genitals during a rousing game of “Viva Piñata,” I suppose. No candy’s coming out of that piñata, kids. Believe me, I’ve tried. Lord how I’ve tried.

Anyway, here’s hoping the parents immediately got rid of the kid’s deck of UNO card after hearing about this. There’s no more embarrassing moment on family game night than a series of reversals and skips and the dreaded Grab 4 Wild Card leading someone to respond by pulling out their johnson and slapping it onto the table. This was once the sport of kings, after all.

This is a picture from Failblog, but I think that the application of “fail” here seems completely offbase. This photo seems like it’s full of nothing but win, especially for this girl’s first gentlemanly suitor.

I guess we know who never spent time ]]>

This is a picture from Failblog, but I think that the application of “fail” here seems completely offbase. This photo seems like it’s full of nothing but win, especially for this girl’s first gentlemanly suitor.

I guess we know who never spent time in the basketball team’s locker room.

You know what’s crazy to me? How this girl is cute, but not a 9 or a 10 by any stretch. But because she’s funny enough to be holding up a board game that makes reference to the fact that she has a snare-drum for a cooch, she instantly becomes the hottest thing I’ve seen this morning. Just something about a lady with a boardgame. This is why I was barred from playing Sorry! with the other seven year-olds. I assume being 24 may have also been a factor, but we just don’t know.

No question that Dungeons and Dragons is an intense field of battle for nerds across the land, what with all the wizards and magic and murder and, uh…dice! But how can it get even more intense? When someone beats you with a hammer due to how the game turned out. ]]>

No question that Dungeons and Dragons is an intense field of battle for nerds across the land, what with all the wizards and magic and murder and, uh…dice! But how can it get even more intense? When someone beats you with a hammer due to how the game turned out.

When Logan Bryson suddenly awakened in the early morning of May 30, he thought he was having a bad dream until he realized someone was beating him with a hammer.

“I didn’t realize I was being attacked until I fell to the floor with my arms up to defend myself,” said Bryson, who took the stand Monday in 5th District Court in Cedar City during the preliminary hearing for Zachery Frank King, charged with beating Bryson and Daniel Shokrian at Shokrian’s home in this southern Utah city.

Testimony Monday suggested a motive for the attacks may have grown from the trio playing the fantasy role-playing game “Dungeons and Dragons” and jealousy over a girl who King and Bryson knew.

Bryson, 23, suffered a concussion and bruises in the attack; Shokrian, 20, lost some vision and his ability to read and write, which he is trying to recover through therapy.

Bryson and King knew each other at school and had spent time the previous day playing “Dungeons and Dragons” with Shokrian, who was acting cocky during the game, according to Detective Nathan Williams. Shokrian was directing the game as Dungeon Master, and King didn’t like what he was doing with King’s character, Williams said.

Oh I think we’ve all been there. You don’t know how many times I’m rolling dice while wearing a hat I stole from an old Robin Hood costume and thought, “Man, this Dungeon Master is totally screwing me. He’s making my character look like such a douchebag.” Which sucks because, with all the hot babes watching and seeing me looking ridiculous, I have no clue how I’m ever going to get laid as a result. Why else would you get into Dungeons and Dragons if not for the chicks?

[via]

Via Amazing Superpowers comes this comic about what happens when board games start keepin’ it real.

That’s creepy. At least it didn’t happen with Hungry Hungry Hippos. I get so tired of hippos snapping at me as I roll around in the middle ]]>

Via Amazing Superpowers comes this comic about what happens when board games start keepin’ it real.

That’s creepy. At least it didn’t happen with Hungry Hungry Hippos. I get so tired of hippos snapping at me as I roll around in the middle of a table. Believe me, once was more than enough. Fortunately they were too lazy to move and remained completely stationary. Stupid hippos. That’s why a boxer who wasn’t even one of you became your King.

Apparently every day on Hasbro’s Web site, there’s a Scrabble Word of the Day. Sunday’s was extremely educational.

This is an important lesson to learn and I’m glad Scrabble is teaching it to us. We don’t really discuss penis substitutes enough in school. ]]>

Apparently every day on Hasbro’s Web site, there’s a Scrabble Word of the Day. Sunday’s was extremely educational.

This is an important lesson to learn and I’m glad Scrabble is teaching it to us. We don’t really discuss penis substitutes enough in school. If it were up to me, I’d dedicate an entire class to it. The aforementioned dildos, cucumbers, Coke bottles, bananas, flashlights can all be substituted. Conversely, you may not want to substitute in a knife handle (or blade) or a lit stick of dynamite. This is what kids should be taught at an early age. Yet when I try to teach this when working as a substitute teacher, I end up burnt alive in the boiler room and forced to come back to hunt children in their dreams. Real fair.

[image via, thanks to Goinglikesixty for the tip]

Via BasicInstructions.net comes this series of helpful hints on how to win with grace at Monopoly.

Sure Monopoly was once a good barometer of what it was like to be rich, buying properties and building hotels and homes (and presumably displacing the poor). ]]>

Via BasicInstructions.net comes this series of helpful hints on how to win with grace at Monopoly.

Sure Monopoly was once a good barometer of what it was like to be rich, buying properties and building hotels and homes (and presumably displacing the poor). But now, in these difficult economic times, it’s not really an accurate depiction of what it means to be rich. Particularly if you’re a recipient of a bank bailout, the game of Monopoly should play different. You should be given money every turn; passing “Go” to receive payment is so passe. And then, instead of accumulating properties and bartering, you should spend every turn crapting on the faces of poor people. Which might not make for the most sanitary board game (and will stand to make family night even more awkward) but hey, recession.

I’m pretty good at video games so you can imagine my dismay when I see gentlemen playing one incorrectly. For example, Guitar Hero is a game where you pretend to be a guitar player and sort-of mimic guitar movements. Conversely, these guys hit each other in the groin with a ]]>

I’m pretty good at video games so you can imagine my dismay when I see gentlemen playing one incorrectly. For example, Guitar Hero is a game where you pretend to be a guitar player and sort-of mimic guitar movements. Conversely, these guys hit each other in the groin with a guitar. I’m not sure they understand the premise of the game.

I guess I can be accused of the same though. When I got Hungry Hungry Hippos..oh boy…you should have SEEN the mouthf’ing those hippos got. Don’t tell me you’re hungry if you’re not willing to pay the price. Damn misleading hippos. You knew what this was about.