Everyone grew up with a favorite bedtime story. Unbeknownst to the baby version of yourself, though, your parents probably got sick of reading “Goodnight, moon” after the 3,456th time.

Which explains how the hilarious “Go the F**k to Sleep” — an adult bedtime parody created by the funsters at McSweeny’s — became such a hit. Such a hit, in fact, that it became the No. 1 best-selling book on Amazon’s list!

What makes this story even more amazing is not just that it’s a children’s book — that, too, is amazing, however — but the fact that the book won’t be released for a month.

That’s right, “Go the F**k to Sleep” somehow became the No. 1, best-selling book as a “viral .PDF.” Which might be the most internet-y thing of all time.

Naturally, the phenomenon began on Facebook, when the author Adam Mansbach updated his status to read, “Look out for my forthcoming children’s book, ‘Go the — to Sleep.’ ”

People loved the status so much that Mansbach started firing out a book about it and, well, VIRAL CLOUDS HAPPENED.

“The copies have been proliferating since this craziness started,” said Ibrahim Ahmad, senior editor at Akashic Books, Mansbach’s publisher. “With a PDF, you can make so many duplicates and people have just been forwarding it.”

Mansbach’s success doesn’t end there, though — he’s also getting a movie option out of this puppy.

The lesson, as always? If you get a chance to go viral, you hop in that saddle and ride. Clouds.

Bestsellers in Books – [Amazon]

How Viral PDFs Of A Naughty Bedtime Book Exploded The Old Publishing Model” – [Fast Company]

That food doesn’t even look good. I also think the “homely lady in an awful blouse drinking white wine alone” should be the new female equivalent of a Neck Beard. I don’t think anyone has ever said “Hey, forget that hot blonde coed…that chick with the gold chain and hearty pubic mound is where my night needs to go.” At least without a heavy sense of irony and a strong commitment to a gag.

UPDATE: Reddit is having some fun on the book’s Amazon page that amused me greatly. Worth a look.

“They’re accusing me of wanting to hurt children. They’re accusing me of encouraging pedophilia and all these other things. But that’s not why I wrote the book,” the 47-year-old from Pueblo, Colo., said.

“I wrote the book to establish guidelines so that people would behave in a manner that is non-injurious to each other, for one, and, for two, to communicate the fact that these people who are so different in maturation, etc., that when they develop relationships, they use certain principles that regular people, adults, would be well to attend.”

So, uh, cool? Because if I’m a child getting molested by a pedophile, there’s nothing that would get me on track better than a book glorifying the horrific experience I went through.

On the plus side, at least it’s not a pop-up book.

Author of Amazon Pedophilia Book Speaks Out [ABC News]

Yes, it’s a real book. Personally, I had no clue that running away from home was a surefire way to be thin. I mean I guess there’s a higher likelihood of miracle weight-loss drug meth entering your system or picking up the AIDS diet through having to sleep with dirty men for a place to stay. See, this is what books are for…learning.

I would never get my theoretical daughter this book, though. Your daughter, absolutely. She totally needs it. But mine? No way.

How To Be A Reasonably Thin Teenage Girl [Buzzfeed]
How to Be a Reasonably Thin Teenage Girl: Without Starving, Losing Your Friends, or Running Away from Home [Amazon]

Cassidy is accused of committing several thousands dollars of damage to library books with her liquid mayhem.

Police arrested Cassidy as she left the scene of the crime in her vehicle, which had been seen in the area during each previous liquid attack. They also found a loaded handgun in her car, earning her an additional misdemeanor of carrying a concealed weapon.

It’s unclear why Cassidy would not only do this, but also do this so many times.

I have my theories as to why she’d do this, though. They primarily revolve around her probably being a lunatic. Any time a hobby of yours is criminal and involves mayonnaise, I can’t imagine your head is screwed on entirely straight. I just hope they get her the Hellpmann’s she needs so that she can get her problems Miracle Whipped. Or they can just take her out back and shoot her in the head for being an idiot. Hmm…that wasn’t really a mayo pun. I’ll stand by it all the same, though.

74-year-old Boise woman arrested on suspicion of damaging library books with mayonnaise, liquids [Idaho Statesman]

As you should know trains, buses, and other forms of public transportation are places where people with similar destinations sit and judge one another. Reading material (you know the stuff people pretend to look at instead of paying attention to the crazies on the train) is a category that draws particular attention from your fellow riders. The kind of literature one chooses to bring with them onto public transportation is, in our minds, the sole indicator of someone’s character. Don’t pretend you haven’t sneered at someone reading Danielle Steele in public. So because people are so judgmental, people taking public transportation are very cautious of what they’re seen reading. Here are 10 of the most ubiquitous books seen on trains and buses and what we think the reader is trying to say by carrying that book around. The phrase “don’t judge a book by it’s cover” need not apply here.

1 Atlas Shrugged by Ayn Rand
Oh, geez Ayn Rand. She had some great ideas, but man those books are way too long. In Atlas Shrugged readers have to slough through a 70-page speech about individual achievement and enlightenment. This book is over 1000 pages long, so those that bring this one on the train are really going out of their way to say something here.

What they’re saying:

“Oh don’t worry about how heavy this book is, I’ve toned my arms in my advanced pilates class. I just love this story for its ideals. I’m re-reading if for the second time to hopefully get inspired about this brain trust/hedge fund/literary critiquing site I’m starting with my old roommate from Brown.”

2 Freakonomics by Stephen Dubner and Steven Levitt
This book was actually relevant and intriguing, until everyone read it and started referencing the same chapters repeatedly. Yes, we know drug dealers operate in a franchise business model similar to McDonald’s, give us something new. We get it, people want to make believe that they understand economics but have don’t have long enough attention spans to read The Wealth of Nations.

What they’re saying:

“Don’t let the kooky hair or the odd-colored tie fool you. I’m studying to be everyone’s favorite adjunct professor. You like pop-culture? Maybe you can come to one of my meet-ups and discuss the effect of social networking on Midwestern farm hands.”

3 One Hundred Years of Solitude by Gabriel Garcia Marquez
Magical realism is just another term for adult fairy tales. Those who lug along this classic are pretty much dreaming of a place where magical spells exist, true love waits, and they don’t have to take trains to go to office jobs. One Hundred Years, is a wonderful novel that has been a classic for years. It also happens to have like 30 characters with the name Buendia in it. Readers of the book are careful not to let people see them flip to the family tree diagram at the front of the book every five pages.

What they’re saying:

“I’m also reading Pablo Neruda, but the summer sun just seemed so transcendent last night that it reminded me of the magical town of Macondo. I had to take this one with me today. I think someone placed an insomnia curse on my apartment building, because I just can’t seem to sleep right this week!”

4 Omnivore’s Dilemma by Michael Pollan
There’s really nothing wrong about this new eating healthy trend. In fact, we here at Guyism support a healthy lifestyle. However, it’s one thing to be supportive and another to make sure that everyone around you knows how healthy your life is. At a certain point, you have to think that people reading this book want you to be impressed with their knowledge of food. No one likes a pontificate.

What they’re saying:

“Did you know reading for 15 minutes burns 20 calories? My Zumba teacher told me that this morning over soy lattes. Is that McDonald’s in your hand? Don’t you know they make their meat from the souls of baby cattle? Shame on you.”

5 The Namesake by Jhumpa Lahiri
A wonderful book that accurately portrays the experiences of a first-generation Indian-American has become a mega hit due to the juggernaut known as Oprah’s Book Club and the movie where the main character was played by Kumar. The book is voraciously devoured by those that can relate to the events of the book and those who wish they could.

What they’re saying:

“Don’t be fooled by my corporate get-up, I’d rather be wearing a sari. Tonight I’m trying my hand at South Asian cooking. Hopefully my roommates won’t mind the aromatic flavors wafting through our apartment. Where am I from? Well, Long Island–but I can really identify with the plight of the Sri Lankans.”

6 The Road by Cormac McCarthy
It’s really surprising how many people read this book, given its really depressing themes. A chronicle of a man and his young son’s journey through a post-apocalypse world, The Road is a raw, painful book to read. Most people reading this will (hopefully) never know such pain and suffering. Basically, reading this book is a nice quick way to feel better about your life.

What they’re saying:

“Gosh, this is just so so horrible. I don’t know what I would do if I were put in the dad’s situation, with his son starving like that. That reminds me, I have to confirm dinner reservations at that new sushi place down on Park. I’m so hungry all of the sudden!”

7 The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao by Junot Diaz
The darling of the literary world a few years ago, this book followed the adventures of an overweight Dominican boy. A moving tale of determination and adolescence, Oscar Wao has become a hit. What’s interesting to note is that the book contains so many references to comic books and the realm of science-fiction/fantasy that most readers would be downright lost if they’re not at least a semi-nerd.

What they’re saying:

“Yeah, I mean, I used to read comic books and was a little bit overweight. So I can totally relate to this Oscar Wao guy. X-Men? Is that still a thing? Oh haha! A Lord of the Rings reference. I loved those movies!”

8 Guns, Germs, and Steel: The Fates of Human Societies by Jared Diamond
Along with the onslaught of memoirs, history/sociology books have helped the non-fiction genre explode into the literary craze of the moment. Guns, Germs, and Steel while really interesting, is also really freaking dense. In fact, kudos to those who can make it through a chapter of this book without dozing off like it was fifth period AP European History.

What they’re saying:

“You know, I really see the parallels between our own society and that of the Ixcateco Indians of Mexico. I mean it’s clear from our traditional garb isn’t it?”

9 Infinite Jest by David Foster Wallace
Due to it’s immense size, this book usually ends up festering in most people’s to-read lists, but since the author just passed away, masses of people can be seen reading this book. The book is a real challenge to get through, with its postmodern style and sentences ruling the pages. It also seems like it’d be really difficult to have enough concentration to read this book on the train.

What they’re saying:

“I think that the esoteric style that this book is written in is indicative of Wallace’s reliance on absurd literary tropes to move his piece along. Although I think that it’s worth exploring the author’s relationship with the pop-culture sphere as he references it quite often. Is anyone listening to me?”

10 The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo by Steig Larsson
This book perhaps single-handedly turned European mysteries into the new “it” literary genre. It’s twisting and turning plot and exotic hard-to-pronounce Swedish names, have taken a hold of reader’s attention. Being seen reading this book on the train makes people smile and nod at you knowingly, it’s like being part of a secret club. Take that Dan Brown.

What they’re saying:

“Man, I really feel like taking down a big corporation with my investigating skills now. All I need is a punk rock detective to help me out. Anyone on this train available? Anyone?”

Since 1890, the Army-Navy football game has been an iconic rivalry game that provides bragging rights for the men in trenches or on boat decks around the world. It is one of the rare sporting events that transcend the arena in which it’s played. It is the essence of sport, and in 1963, it was played two weeks after the assassination of President John F. Kennedy.

The events leading up to this iconic game — “to those immortal Saturdays of autumn 1963, when the Navy team left its mark on both the campus of the Naval Academy and the sport of college football itself” — are chronicled in the new book THE PRESIDENT’S TEAM: The 1963 Army-Navy Game & the Assassination of JFK, by Michael Connelly. The book is a masterpiece of both sports and historical non-fiction.

John Fitzgerald Kennedy—Navy hero, husband, father, and 35th President of the United States—was a Navy man through and through. Although he went to college at Harvard, he was extremely proud of his service and loyal to his friends still in the Navy. In turn, the Navy football squad—the 44 men from across the country who represented the U.S. Naval Academy on the gridiron—was his team. JFK kept a close eye on his beloved Midshipmen, and in 1963 — as Kennedy dealt with the Soviets, Cubans, social unrest in the South, and a coming presidential election — Navy was being hailed as a “Team of Destiny.” The president and the team would be eternally and inextricably linked together.

A GAME PLAN FOR LIFE: The Power of Mentoring, by John Wooden and Don Yaeger is Wooden’s tribute to those men and women whose lives, philosophies, and faith all shaped his own. Whether they be those who mentored him on a personal level—his father, his coaches and his wife, Nellie—or those who mentored him with greater ideals and achievements during difficult circumstances—Abraham Lincoln and Mother Teresa, Wooden culls life lessons from the words, teachings and actions of those who made an impact on him.

In his 27 years at UCLA, Wooden coached an elite roster of All-American and Hall-of-Fame basketball players and their accomplishments on the court are still the gold standard for team play in sports. From 1964-1975, Coach Wooden’s Bruins dominated NCAA basketball with 335 wins, ten national champions and four undefeated seasons. These teams included basketball greats like Jamaal Wilkes, Henry Bibby, Marques Johnson, Walt Hazzard, Larry Farmer and Gail Goodrich. The second half of of the book is for those who have had there their lives enhanced with John Wooden as their mentor. The two most prominent players of the Wooden era, Lew Alcindor (Kareem Abdul-Jabbar) and Bill Walton, lend their voices and memories to the book, as does one of his lesser-know UCLA players—bench-warmer Andy Hill.

Other people whom Wooden mentored add their thoughts in chapters, including the extraordinary coaches Roy Williams and Dale Brown, Wooden’s great-granddaughter Cori Nicholson, and Bob Vigars, a Canadian special education teacher, basketball coach and Wooden admirer whom the coach has never met in person. The change in point-of-view expands the work to an all-encompassing study on the methods to becoming a wise mentor and the results of having one.

Also included in this prize pack:
Hard Work: My Life On and Off the Court by UNC Coach Roy Willams
That First Season by John Eisenberg
The Beckham Experiment by Grant Wahl
On The Line by Serena Williams
The Great Book of Cleveland Sports Lists
The Great Book of Denver Sports Lists
The Great Book of Detroit Sports Lists
The Great Book of Philadelphia Sports Lists
The Great Book of Washington, DC Sports Lists
The Great Book of Los Angeles Sports Lists
The Great Book of Seattle Sports Lists

To enter just leave a comment telling us why you think you, the great sports fan that you are, deserve these books. We’ll pick the best, most creative answer to win this great prize.

The drawing will be held on Sunday, December 27. Good luck and happy holidays!

Today we have two great prizes to give away! Both are tremendous coffee table books featuring dozens of amazing full-color images of two of the classic teams of the National Football League. These books are without a doubt must-haves for any Pittsburgh Steelers or New York Giants fan. To be entered into the drawing for each book just leave us a comment listing your top five all-time favorite Steelers players and/or your top five all-time favorite Giants players. You are allowed to enter for both books, but you may only win one, so if you have a preference be sure to make a note of it in your comment.

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Pittsburgh Steelers: The Complete Illustrated History documents the great moments in a tradition that stretches back more than seventy-five years and offers an unmatched legacy of success. Fresh on the heels of a record sixth Super Bowl victory, the Pittsburgh Steelers are a team steeped in history and accomplishment. The roster of players who have donned the black and gold reads like an all-star team, and the 1970s dynasty alone featured nine players currently enshrined in the Pro Football Hall of Fame. This book celebrates the players, the teams, the legendary coaches such as Chuck Noll and Bill Cowher, and the legions of passionate fans throughout western Pennsylvania and across the nation who cheer the black and gold. Lavishly illustrated with vivid color and classic black-and-white images from throughout the team’s history, Pittsburgh Steelers brings to powerful life the on- and off-field exploits and achievements of this iconic franchise.

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Purchased in 1925 for $500 by bookmaker and businessman Tim Mara, the New York Giants were New York City’s introduction to professional football. The National Football League was a mere five years old, and for almost a century since, the history of football, the city, and the Giants has been inextricably linked. New York Giants: The Complete Illustrated History is a thorough and thoroughly entertaining illustrated chronicle of the New York Giants football team, telling the full story of the seasons, players, coaches, teams, and moments that have made history decade after decade. Filled with player statistics and team records, and brilliantly illustrated with vintage and contemporary photographs, this book is a fitting celebration of a team whose name is synonymous with football in America.

Winners will be drawn on November 14, 2009.

All you need to do is drop us a comment naming who you think are the five best players to ever play for the University of North Carolina. On November 7 we’ll randomly pick one of the entries and that person will win a free copy of Roy’s new book, which Kirkus Reviews calls “A near-perfect embodiment of the American Dream…”.

Hard Work covers, among other things, the tenets of his coaching system, how he sold calendars to supplement his income when given the chance to work under Dean Smith for $2,700/year, Michael Jordan at UNC and the ’82 National Championship, his face-to-face Final Four games against Dean Smith in 1991 (win) and 1993 (loss), how the morning after winning the 2005 Championship he met his assistant in the parking lot at the Smith Center at six in the morning to go recruiting, his rivalry with Duke Coach Mike Krzyzewski, the most political pick-up game, he has ever been a part of: UNC vs. Obama, and much more.

Rachel Esh, owner of an Amish dry-goods store here, was giddy as customers kept arriving. Cars spilled out of the dirt parking lot onto the hay and potato fields, crushing a few of her neighbor’s potatoes.

She ushered the crowd of 40 people swarming in front of her cash register into a line that snaked out the door of Rachel’s Country Store. The cause of the commotion: novelist Cindy Woodsmall, who had stopped by to autograph books.

Ms. Woodsmall writes “bonnet books,” or Amish love stories, which are a booming new subcategory of the romance genre. The books, written by non-Amish writers, are aimed at a mainstream audience. But Ms. Woodsmall researches her stories among the Pennsylvania Amish, and she has a loyal Amish following.

The plot of her 2006 novel, “When the Heart Cries,” revolves around Hannah, a young Amish woman who falls in love with a Mennonite and hides her plans to marry him from her strict parents. The lovers struggle to overcome the cultural divide, and actually kiss a couple of times in 326 pages: “His warm, gentle lips moved over hers, and she returned the favor, until Hannah thought they might both take flight right then and there. Finally desperate for air, they parted.”

“I can’t stop reading them,” said Mary Ann Blank, an Amish woman with a wide smile and graying hair she wears neatly parted under her prayer cap. She clutched her signed copy of the third book in Ms. Woodsmall’s “Sisters of the Quilt” series, published by WaterBrook Press, a Random House imprint. “I usually better not start in the morning because then I sit around too long,” she added.

That’s just shoddy reporting. By “sit around too long,” she clearly means sitting on the butter churn, wooden phallus providing her a pleasure not often felt by a woman religiously barred from using batteries.

I also like how this article goes out of the way to point out that these books weren’t written by Amish people. No crap they weren’t. I could hardly justify carrying around a “paperback” written by some inbred who can’t even staple the pages together out of fear that the devil may leap from the staple tray and steal her soul.

[Wall Street Journal]

Contest time again! Here’s your chance to win a sweet prize! Feel free to enter each contest… (NOTE: Winners in the last 30 days are ineligible to win these prizes.)

Prize #1: Cooperstown Confidential
List price: $25.00

Celebrated author and journalist Zev Chafets stirs the echoes at the Hall and exposes the revealing anecdotes and gross hypocrisies of this sacred American institution in his controversial new book Cooperstown Confidential: Heroes, Rogues, and The Inside Story of The Baseball Hall of Fame. It is a book so thoroughly researched, deftly crafted and brilliantly delivered that you know it will draw defensive criticism from all corners of the baseball world.

Chafets breaks through the bronze facades and discusses the true nature and questionable character of Hall-of-Fame trailblazers like Ty Cobb, Tris Speaker, Rogers Hornsby, Cap Anson and Babe Ruth, while he celebrates the exploits of honorable early Hall-of-Famers like Christy Mathewson, Honus Wagner, Walter Johnson, and Connie Mack. He exposes the anti-heroes of sportsmanship like Grover Cleveland Alexander, Dizzy Dean, Gaylord Perry and Mickey Mantle, while praising Ted Williams and Hank Greenberg. He sheds light on the dubious integrity of a host of others including Lefty Grove, Jimmie Foxx, Joe McCarthy, John McGraw, Hack Wilson, Leo Durocher, Kirby Puckett, and the quintessential saint of Americana, Joe DiMaggio, while he examines the true integrity of men like Cal Ripken and Tony Gwynn.

A must-have for every baseball fan. I thoroughly enjoyed reading it. –on 205th magazine

#1) Be the first to name the three celebs below and you win!
WE HAVE A WINNER!

(Left) Model, 28 years-old, born in Brazil
Name (mixed up): B M R A A A L E R D O S I S S A N O

(Middle) Skank, 27 years-old, born in Singapore
Name (mixed up): Q U I T T E A I L L A

(Right) Fighter, 27 years-old, born in Texas
Name (mixed up): A R G C N A O I N A

Prize #2: The Great Book of Los Angeles Sports Lists
List price: $14.95

NOTE: We’ll also be giving away The Great Book of Sports Lists for D.C., Denver, Detroit, San Francisco, and Philly all this coming week, so come on back tomorrow!

As the title suggests, this book is a compilation of lists from some of the greatest sports luminaries this city has to offer. Respected and knowledgeable authors collaborate with a who’s who of local journalists, broadcasters, icons, athletes, politicians, movie stars and other roustabouts looking to see their names in print who provide sage and subjective Guest Lists. Everyone contributes to the fun. Within these pages every significant game, player and felony is listed and explained with due detail and scrutiny.

#2) Be the first to name the three celebs below and you win!
WE HAVE A WINNER!

(Left) Actress, 29 years-old, born in Panama
Name (mixed up): T J S O W E E R R R D B A A N

(Middle) Model, 23 years-old, born in California
Name (mixed up): R W A K N K E I L E S N O N D

(Right) Actress, 35 years-old, born in Spain
Name (mixed up): U R P C P Z E E N E L O

Prize #3: The Great Book of Cleveland Sports Lists
List price: $14.95

The books in this series don’t just entertain. These provide in-depth sports writing that will resonate with the hardcore sports fan as well as the sports neophyte looking for a quick study. From Super Bowls to Stanley Cups, Joe Louis to ‘The Drive’, Wilt ‘the Stilt’ to the Ryder Cup, these books are as informative as they are funny.

These are a blast to read even if you aren’t from the city being discussed. Fantastic trivia and memories abound.
–on 205th magazine

#3) Be the first to name the three celebs below and you win!
WE HAVE A WINNER!

(Left) Actress, 34 years-old, born in California
Name (mixed up): O L J A N A E N I G E L I

(Middle) Actress, 26 years-old, born in New York
Name (mixed up): K O I D N A E V O

(Right) Actress, 33 years-old, born in Oman
Name (mixed up): R H E I S S A L F I

This contest ends when all nine celebs are identified.

[Total value of prizes given away by on 205th: $1,617.59]