Eric Kelly is one of the many boxers whose career ended before it really got going. So now, he’s a trainer at Church St. Boxing Gym, whipping nerds into shape. By which I mean making fun of them in hilarious and slightly degrading fashion.

The best part ]]>

Eric Kelly is one of the many boxers whose career ended before it really got going. So now, he’s a trainer at Church St. Boxing Gym, whipping nerds into shape. By which I mean making fun of them in hilarious and slightly degrading fashion.

The best part of the video, without question, is when the one guy is throwing uppercuts when Eric comments on one. The happiness in the guy’s face as he takes a break from limply hitting the bagging quickly turning to sadness when Eric calls them the “worst uppercuts I’ve ever seen” couldn’t have been scripted more perfectly.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, anytime Mike Tyson opens his mouth, it’s must-listen. Sure, you may have to endure a few minutes about pigeon feeding and perhaps a a story or two about his glory days, but it’s worth the ]]>

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, anytime Mike Tyson opens his mouth, it’s must-listen. Sure, you may have to endure a few minutes about pigeon feeding and perhaps a a story or two about his glory days, but it’s worth the wait. Especially when he drops nuggets like this: “I didn’t talk about getting a prison official pregnant.”

Um, what?

I mean, the man once said he would “fade into Bolivian” so we’re gonna need some clarification here. In an interview with ESPN blowhard Rick Reilly, Tyson casually dropped the pregnant reference in. When asked to elaborate, Tyson replied “…oh, yeah. In prison, stuff happens. But she had no baby.”

Oh Iron Mike, you sexual deviant you. Banging prison guards while on a three-year rape conviction seems oh so appropriate from you. I only hope you serenaded them with your loving rendition of “I can feel it ‘cumming’ in the air tonight.”

Mike Tyson says he impregnated a jail official [USA Today]

Hi, Hollywood? You’re idiots. A sequel to Martin Scorsese’s 1980 classic Raging Bull is in production. Sure, it’s been thirty-two years, but it’s still a hot property, right? Raging Bull was one of Robert DeNiro’s prime early roles, and his portrayal of boxer Jake LaMotta won ]]>

Hi, Hollywood? You’re idiots. A sequel to Martin Scorsese’s 1980 classic Raging Bull is in production. Sure, it’s been thirty-two years, but it’s still a hot property, right? Raging Bull was one of Robert DeNiro’s prime early roles, and his portrayal of boxer Jake LaMotta won raves from critics. With a pedigree like that, I’m sure that whoever owns the rights (there’s no studio attached) is going to pull out all the stops for the sequel, right? Well, since the director is this douchebag, the man behind National Lampoon’s Cattle Call, I doubt it.

It’s being billed as both a prequel and a sequel to the original movie, confusingly, and stars William Forsythe from Boardwalk Empire as Jake LaMotta. Moviehole has casting details.

Let’s think about some other classic DeNiro movies that could get cash-in sequels while we’re here. Taxi Driver II with Robert Pattinson as Travis Bickle and a kickin’ nu-metal soundtrack! The Deer Hunter II where Michael Vronsky (played by Dwayne Johnson) goes back to Vietnam thirty years later to settle old scores! Heat II – wait, no, I’d see Heat II in a dog’s heartbeat.

Some of you might be familiar with Uwe Boll. He’s been heralded as one of the worst filmmakers living and working today. Which could be said about a lot of folks, but Boll is differently different, and one of a kind.

First off, as noted, he mostly makes movies based ]]>

Some of you might be familiar with Uwe Boll. He’s been heralded as one of the worst filmmakers living and working today. Which could be said about a lot of folks, but Boll is differently different, and one of a kind.

First off, as noted, he mostly makes movies based upon games. And every single one is putrid, from top to bottom. One of the biggest mysteries is how he manages to get work to this very day, considering how the movies are so bad that it’s argued that they do damage to the source material’s reputation.

There are bad movies, and then there are bad movies. One fave crap director of mine, Tommy Wisea, made a bad movie, for example. But it was so doe-eyed and innocent, plus genuine, that it’s hard to hate. That and it was just so genuinely bizarre (thanks to its leading man/writer/producer/director). Whereas Boll’s movies have no redeeming qualities; they are the very definition of unwatchable.

Hence why many believe that Boll makes crap movies on purpose, perhaps for kicks, and is therefore ripping off those stupid to hand over the rights to their IP (and money for said movies), big-time. Though he might also be a genuinely bad filmmaker as well, it’s hard to tell.

Not helping is his attitude. Again, it’s hard to hate Wiseau since he seems like, ultimately, a nice guy. Not Boll. Case in point; here we have the screenwriter for the Bloodrayne movie. Boll had made a few crap game to film conversions already, but it was Bloodrayne that cemented his reputation…

I’ve posted it before, but here’s the trailer to the flick once again. As a friend who watched the flick noted, it has “by far the most awkward tit shot in any movie, ever.”

Again, he’s made movies for Alone in the Dark, House of the Dead, Dungeon Siege, Far Cry, though the one for Postal deserves special mention. Whereas the game has no real plot… it’s just you running around, shooting people up or cutting them into pieces, plus blowing stuff up… Boll decided to craft a story himself. Which involved making light of the terrorists who hijacked one of the planes that led to 9/11. Sorry, I am not making this up…

There was a point in which the hate for the guy was so intense that Boll challenged to get in the ring with any of his detractors and punch him in the face. Which sounded like a novel idea! Too bad A) Boll has an amateur boxing background and B) most writers are total, out of shape wimps. Four took the challenge, and none of them made a dent. Here’s just one of them…

For those interested in learning more about the guy, be sure to check out the documentary Raging Boll…

Floyd Mayweather knocked out Victor Ortiz to take ownership of Ortiz’s WBC Welterweight Belt. That was probably expected by post. Unexpected? Mayweather saying what boxing fans have thought for years about HBO’s Larry Merchant in an expletive-laden post-fight interview.

You can talk about the

Floyd Mayweather knocked out Victor Ortiz to take ownership of Ortiz’s WBC Welterweight Belt. That was probably expected by post. Unexpected? Mayweather saying what boxing fans have thought for years about HBO’s Larry Merchant in an expletive-laden post-fight interview.

You can talk about the controversy stemming from the fight all you want (my take: Hold your hands up, dude..they teach you to do that in the first class for middle-aged women at New York Sports Club. And stop smiling. Victor Ortiz and Tony Romo must go to the same “How to Conduct Yourself Under Pressure” seminars), but this moment completely trounced all the others in the event. Mayweather said what everyone who’s watched an HBO Sports boxing presentation has yelled at the screen for years.

Aside: I don’t care if Larry Merchant were 50 years younger (he’s 80) or if Floyd Mayweather were fighting Merchant under Duchess of Queensbury rules, the odds of him being able to do anything other than curl up in the fetal position against Mayweather would be alarmingly low.

UPDATE: Throwing in the full version of the interview in case the one up there gets pulled and/or for additional context as to what happened in the fight, via The Big Lead

Video via @hall_chelsea as seen on Darren Rovell’s Twitter [Twitter]

The life of a video game character is pretty glamorous. But much like superheroes, they have to keep day jobs too. And some of them blow. Hard. Here are eight of the worst.

8 Peter Pepper Game: Burgertime Job: Short order cook (with mutant vegetables attacking you) Benefits: Free ]]>

The life of a video game character is pretty glamorous. But much like superheroes, they have to keep day jobs too. And some of them blow. Hard. Here are eight of the worst.

8 Peter Pepper
Game: Burgertime
Job: Short order cook (with mutant vegetables attacking you)
Benefits: Free pepper; Unlimited snacks

Many people have dreams of being a chef. That’s not so bad. But being a chef who only makes burgers basically puts you in line with the greasy kid from the McDonald’s down the street. And being a chef who assembles these giant burgers by walking all over them makes you a crapty chef at that. Unless your feet are the special ingredient, in which case, that’s pretty impressive.

But even worse than that, Peter Pepper has to deal with Mr. Egg, Mr. Pickle, and Mr. Hot Dog, each a human-sized version of their last name (how convenient) trying to stop him from making his giant footburgers. It’s not really clear why they don’t want you to make the burgers since, ostensibly, that’d stop you from cooking them alive. But what do you expect from food that suddenly gained autonomy?

7 Ice Climbers (Popo and Nana)
Game: Ice Climber
Job: Climbing ice
Benefits: Getting to reenact scenes from Cliffhanger

In spite of their mallets and ability to do something very few people could do, it’d be hard to get excited to be an Ice Climber. Why? Well A) It’s much less scenic than all those free HD channels would lead you to believe and B) Because their job is to recover vegetables from a renegade Condor.

So you’ve got some asshole Condor who keeps stealing your vegetables while you’ve got to climb and climb and climb and then you have to kill other endangered species of bird and fight polar bears and it’s just like…how did these indigenous little Eskimos go so wrong? And just wait until PETA hears about this. Try explaining to them that the reason you attacked the Condor with a mallet was because he stole your eggplant. I don’t think they could relate to the plight of your simple igloo-loving ways.

6 Mario
Game: Super Mario Bros.
Job: Plumber
Benefits: Feces. Lots of feces.

Forget all his other temp jobs as a tennis judge, referee, doctor, there’s one job that Mario had in the real world that he really owned: Plumber. And sure, if you’re to believe the Super Mario Brothers Super Show, as seen in the clip below, a supremely faulty drain (how fed up do your fixtures have to be to open up a gateway to another world) that Mario was plumbing somehow resulted in him being sucked into Mushroom Kingdom.

But forget that, do you realize how many drains Mario and his broke ass brother were cleaning out of pubes and sludge and mucus before they got to that Mushroom Kingdom? No wonder he never said, “Hey Princess, mind sending me back to Brooklyn?” Stomping on the heads of some evil mushrooms with shoes and dealing with a firebreathing turtle is a picnic next to a stopped toilet in a Williamsburg homeless shelter.

5 B.D. Joe
Game: Crazy Taxi
Job: Taxi Driver
Benefits: Substantial tips, no way to get charged with vehicular manslaughter

I’m going with B.D. Joe for this one because he seemed far more above it than the other characters in the game. Joe had dreams, hopes, a Jamaican accent. But he also engaged in a profession which kind of blows. Did you know that you know that most male cab drivers pee in a bottle to keep going and maximize fares during shifts? I’m pretty sure I didn’t just make that up, though I suppose that’s always a possibility.

So not only does he have to piss in a Snapple bottle (Snapple Fact: Don’t drink me), but he has to endanger his life, and everyone else’s, to get more money from his patrons. Yeah let’s see, let me drive up on this roof and leap off all so I can shave 2 seconds off your trip to KFC. Awesome. And then you can’t even take your aggressions out by steamrolling innocent pedestrians because they always leap out of the way. What’s the point of being a cab driver if you can’t commit a bit of vehicular manslaughter?

4 Zangief
Game: Street Fighter II
Job: Bear wrestler
Benefits: Communism treated its bear wrestlers like Kings

No matter where you are in life, there are very few times where you’d think that being thrust into a tournament where you fight to the death against some of the best fighters of the world, some of whom are capable of conjuring up balls of fire to launch at you, would be an upgrade. But one of those few times belongs to Zangief.

Nevermind the fact that the guy couldn’t throw a fireball or break the sound barrier with his fists or spit flame or, really, do anything of note like his competitors; this is a man deserving of your respect. The guy wrestled BEARS. And not tussling around with a stuff teddy while pretending you’re the Ultimate Warrior like you and I may have. He wrestled full on grizzlies. And lived. And not only that, but he had to do it while in Soviet Russia (where BEAR gets mauled by YOU). You try wrestling a bear under any circumstances, let alone hopped up on steroids, vodka, and potatoes while the KGB insist that an 8-foot tall bear is a threat to your glorious regime.

3 Paperboy
Game: Paperboy
Job: Paperboy
Benefits: MILFs

This kid who was the Paperboy always struck me as a bit too old to still be a Paperboy. I guess that’s neither here nor there though since he clearly had a passion for slinging the news at the homes of customers. Better than those lazy kids in movies set in the 1920s standing on the corner shouting out headlines. Get some wheels, slacker. But anyway, the Paperboy had a tough road just to make enough money to take a girl out and hopefully get some boob. Check out a list of the obstacles from the Paperboy Wiki:

The player must stay alive by avoiding obstacles that appear along the street. Some obstacles include everyday nuisances such as bees, fire hydrants, storm drains, break dancers, cars, skateboarders, drunks, and kids playing with radio controlled toys and even rather bizarre foes such as a tornado, oversized house cats, and even the Grim Reaper himself.

You know your job is fed up when “break dancers” and “drunks” are considered an everyday nuisance while an oversized house cat is a bizarre foe. Such is the life of the Paperboy. Up is down, black is white, it’s your job to make sense of it all…and deliver the news to the world.

2 Dante
Game: Devil May Cry
Job: Demon Detective
Benefits: Meeting interesting people, Hellspawn

Yeah, Dante looks all cool up there with his white emo hair and his guns, but being a detective hunting down demons isn’t what I’d consider fun. Especially when your father (whose death you’re trying to avenge) was a demon. Where I come from, that’s called being a self-hating demon. And then while he’s trying to do his whole demon murdering thing, which is slightly more difficult than delivering newspapers, he’s always getting demons trying to kill him. Or confuse him, like Trish below.

She’s a demon, but she’s cool, so Dante fights her and then they become friends or some crap. And he’s probably like, “She’s a demon, I hate her” but then he looks at her and he’s like “Heheh boobs’ and kind of forgets where he is and accidentally discharges his gun and apologizes profusely saying how it never happens to him and he’ll make it up to her somehow, but she’s all turned off by that point and he just has to clean himself up. …it can put a damper on hunting demons, trust me.

1 Doc Louis
Game: Punch-Out!!
Job: Boxing Trainer
Benefits: Ringside seats; Not much actual time spent training

Think about it this way: You’ve dedicated your whole life to boxing. This is all you know. You saw a match on TV once, instantly fell in love, begged your parents to get you into a boxing gym. You grew up around the sport, know it inside out. You tried to make it on your own but didn’t have the physical tools. So you decide that your knowledge can be put to better use as a trainer. So you comb the ends of the Earth looking for a talent whom you can put over the top. And you end up with Little Mac.

Yeah. That guy who’s approximately the size of Mike Tyson’s genitals. Your protégé is basically just a midget with a complete lack of talent. The appropriate response would probably be: F*ck.

But then somehow, thanks to your guidance, he overcomes the odds and starts racking up wins, first against other scrubs, then against legitimate contenders. Despite a mismatch in every sense of the word, he overcomes the Champ. And then, you realize…”I could have been a contender.”

Former Heavyweight champion Evander Holyfield will turn 48 in October. But age is not stopping the 5-time world champion from competing. In November, Holyfield will fight Sherman “The Tank” Williams at Joe Louis Arena in Detroit in what I’m sure will be a riveting fight. More ]]>

Former Heavyweight champion Evander Holyfield will turn 48 in October. But age is not stopping the 5-time world champion from competing. In November, Holyfield will fight Sherman “The Tank” Williams at Joe Louis Arena in Detroit in what I’m sure will be a riveting fight. More importantly though, if Holyfield comes out victorious, he’s set his sights on WBC Champion Vitali Klitschko.

Holyfield’s manager, Ken Sanders, told ESPN.com that a victory over Williams could propel Holyfield toward a fight against current world champion Vitali Klitschko.
“What we are going to do is have this fight and then either in January or February, we hope to be able to fight Vitali Klitschko for the WBC belt,” Sanders said.

For what it’s worth, Vitali Klitschko is no spring chicken himself–he’s 39 years old. But Klitschko hasn’t had the same problems that Holyfield has in getting medically cleared for fights. In 2005, there were rumors that Holyfield was banned from fighting in New York. Moreover, 2 of his last 3 fights have been international.

It’ll be interesting to see what comes of this. In the boxing world, things move rather slowly. So even if Holyfield wins in November, a fight might not occur until summer of 2011.

Evander Holyfield to fight at Joe Louis Arena in November [Det News]

You don’t have to like Mike Tyson, but I think you’d be foolish to admit he’s not one of the most interesting men around today. He did an extremely long interview with Details you can read here, but one of his answers is your Quote of the ]]>

You don’t have to like Mike Tyson, but I think you’d be foolish to admit he’s not one of the most interesting men around today. He did an extremely long interview with Details you can read here, but one of his answers is your Quote of the Day.

Mike Tyson: I don’t know. I guess it’s all good. I live in a nice house, exclusive neighborhood, but it’s all just insignificant stuff. My life is just different. I don’t even recognize myself sometimes. I went back to Brownsville with my reality-TV-show crew, they’re doing a segment about my childhood racing pigeons, and Brownsville’s all upscale now. They got surveillance cameras, buildings that were abandoned cost, like, a million now, and I’m thinking, My life must’ve been a lie, ’cause there’s nothing there that looks like my childhood. This white woman come up, and I’m thinking, Wow. When I was a kid, she would’ve been robbed and raped and left for dead. This is a real strange scenario, and I just wanted to cry. I’m like, “Who am I? Where’s my heritage?”

Everything You Think You Know About Mike Tyson Is Wrong [Details]

There are so many questions here that I have a hard time deciding where to start. This kangaroo is the worst fighter I have ever seen.

First of all, if you notice, before the match start the kangaroo kicks his trainer in the balls. I dunno if that ]]>

There are so many questions here that I have a hard time deciding where to start. This kangaroo is the worst fighter I have ever seen.

First of all, if you notice, before the match start the kangaroo kicks his trainer in the balls. I dunno if that is some sort of pre-match ritual they have or something but it seems unnecessary from a preparation standpoint. Then again, this is a kangaroo in boxing gloves. His training regiment seems like the last thing to be worried about in this situation.

Second, there is no bell to start the match. The kangaroo just attacks this lady. Doesn’t lay a haymaker; simply pushes the woman into the closest trashcan. Again, a weird strategy–but as I said before, this marsupial just kicked his trainer in the junk; so it looks as though the orthodox approach to boxing has gone right out the window at this point. I dunno even want to know what the trashcan was for.

And last but not least — I dunno what he is doing to that lady toward the end of that video, but it ain’t boxing…

And she runs away into the crowd. Lets have a hand for the woman that will never again be able to visit the zoo without breaking into tears!

via Break

I dunno if this guy lost a bet or just won a bet, but I can’t think of ANY logical reason a human being would want to have a 70 pounds of heavy bag dropped off a roof and onto their family jewels. I guess you can ask this guy ]]>

I dunno if this guy lost a bet or just won a bet, but I can’t think of ANY logical reason a human being would want to have a 70 pounds of heavy bag dropped off a roof and onto their family jewels. I guess you can ask this guy as soon as he stops puking.

The bad news for him is that he’ll never have children. The good news for us is that he’ll never have children. Kids today and their boxing training…I’d rather go 12 rounds with Ivan Drago than have that happen to me.

via Break

Most of the time, we prefer our athletes to be warm, smiling characters. Look at LeBron James; the guy is 6’8 and packs 250 pounds but you would have no problem approaching him on the street. He just looks like a nice guy. This list is not for guys ]]>

Most of the time, we prefer our athletes to be warm, smiling characters. Look at LeBron James; the guy is 6’8 and packs 250 pounds but you would have no problem approaching him on the street. He just looks like a nice guy. This list is not for guys like that. Contained below are the most frightening, snarling athletes that the general public would do well to avoid like their lives depend on it.

1 Mike Tyson

You don’t get the nickname “The Baddest Man on the Planet” by being a nice guy. In his heyday, Mike possessed a rare combination of speed, knockout power, and blood lust. He’s broken opponent’s orbital bones, bit off ears, spent time in prison. You name the act, and Mike has committed it with the unapologetic rage of a wild man. If you’re not completely convinced by now, simply go look up videos of his interviews. His mere presence has even the most steadfast reporters shivering. Plus, the guy tried to take out Little Mac!

2 Serena Williams

For years everyone had their suspicions that the younger sister was secretly a psychotic super athlete. Just watch her play tennis. She hits the ball like it owes her money, screaming out a war cry with each stroke. She’s also got biceps that look like they were infused to her body during a lab experiment. But the confirmation of many people’s fears came during last year’s U.S. Open final. Disputing a call, she stormed over to the female line judge and threatened to “Shove this **** ball down your ***** throat.” Yikes.

3 Ray Lewis

Some athletes have the ability to act like complete gentlemen off the field but turning into monsters while on it. Ray Lewis is one of those men. From his maniacal pre-game ritual that looks straight out of a Tongan death dance. If you haven’t had the pleasure of listening to his pre-game speeches they kind of sound like this: “RAARR! KILL! FOOTBALL! NO MERCY!!” Ok fine we might have embellished that a little bit. On the field, ferocity of his hits are so intense that many find themselves marveling at the fact that anyone gets up afterwards.

4 Scott Parker

In a sport that demands toughness out of all of it’s athletes, Scott Parker shone as the one of the toughest. They say you shouldn’t judge a book by its cover, but Scott Parker is exactly what he looks like: a rough dude that can snap at any moment. During one game, Parker was so incensed that he slammed his stick against the penalty box glass and got himself ejected. But before he could be led off the ice, he jumped onto the glass between the two team’s benches and started hitting an opposing player in the face. Now retired, Parker runs a barber shop business with his wife. Who in the world would trust him with scissors?

5 Albert Belle

Baseball is not the first sport that comes to mind when thinking of intimidating athletes. However, Albert Belle has been a special case his whole career. From throwing a ball at a fan who was taunting him during a game, to hitting a would-be vandal with his car, Belle was a man without fear or mercy. But it wasn’t just opponents and fans who feared his wrath. He reportedly took a bat to teammate Kenny Lofton’s boombox after a particularly poor at-bat. Looks like someone needed a hug badly. Volunteers?

6 Bernard Hopkins

By nature, most professional fighters are intimidating human beings. Hopkins takes the cake as one of the last guys you want staring across the ring from you in a match. Coming from the tough streets of Philadelphia, Hopkins was born rough, beating up and stealing money from older kids. Hopkins didn’t discover his love for boxing at a gym like most people, he began boxing while serving a prison sentence for multiple felonies. In the ring, Hopkins doesn’t really knock his opponents out as much as he saps their will with his bullying and counter punching. He does all of this with the countenance of a hired killer.

7 Lawrence Taylor

How many careers have you ended today? None? Oh well, you must be a normal person; unlike our next athlete Lawrence Taylor. The former Giants pass rusher was an absolute berserker on the field, seemingly with the intent to literally put them through the ground. Opposing offensive coordinators eventually had to adapt to LT’s blitzkrieg. His most infamous hit was during the 1985 season where he hit Redskins quarterback Joe Theismann so badly that Theismann broke his leg, forcing him into retirement.

8 Randy Johnson

The fact that this guy is nicknamed the Big Unit and no one thought to make fun of the guy for it (at least to his face) says a lot. Johnson stood 6’10 and rocked one of the most complete mullet/goatee combinations ever seen in sports. Imagine standing in a batter’s box seeing a guy like that throw 90+ mph fastballs in your general direction. In one particular incident, an unfortunate bird flew in the way of one of Johnson’s pitches. The bird quite literally exploded into a mess of feathers and blood. If it weren’t downright frightening, it would almost be kind of beautiful.

9 Wanderlei Silva

One does not get the nickname the “Axe Murderer” by being nice and cuddly. Silva reigned as the PRIDE middleweight champion for years, leaving a trail of would-be challengers unconscious in a pool of their own blood. A whirlwind of knees, elbows, and stomps Silva lives for the knockout. His epic pre-fight staredowns are by far the scariest in the sports of mixed martial arts. Just try to watch a clip of him without peeing your pants a little.

10 Brock Lesnar

Normal people do not have giant swords tattooed on their chests. It’s safe to say that the current UFC Heavyweight champ is not a normal person, but a genetic freak of a man. In the ring, Lesnar becomes an absolute killer with no remorse. Just ask Frank Mir whom Lesnar pinned against the cage hitting him repeatedly with hammerfists. Afterwards he still got in Mir’s face and let him know just who the alpha dog is. Lesnar, a former NCAA and WWE wrestling champion, spends his free time secluded in the woods hunting wild game and presumably running rampant on small villages.

The sad state of boxing legend Thomas “Hitman” Hearns financial situation reached an absolute low point at an auction yesterday.

After accumulating a debt of $450,000 to the IRS, Hearns was forced to give up almost everything he had. Larger items like vehicles and boats were scooped up rather ]]>

The sad state of boxing legend Thomas “Hitman” Hearns financial situation reached an absolute low point at an auction yesterday.

After accumulating a debt of $450,000 to the IRS, Hearns was forced to give up almost everything he had. Larger items like vehicles and boats were scooped up rather quickly. And even Hearns’ old boxing stuff was auctioned; robes, gloves, shoes, shorts and uh, his cup? Yes, someone out there is a proud owner of a protective cup worn by the Hitman himself. Because as we all know, nothing says priceless sports memorabilia than a dude’s jockey strap framed in the man’s room.

And as much as you want to feel a heavy heart for Hearns, he only has himself to blame. He has admitted before in interviews that he made over 40 million dollars in his career. Much of that he says went to family and friends, although the number of glamorous items at the auction certainly indicates otherwise.

But I’m not here to kick a man while he’s down…especially not in the jewels when he doesn’t own a cup anymore. I’d rather remember him with old school boxing highlights.

Hit Man Hearns gets a little help from bidders {Freep}

If you didn’t see the Manny Pacquiao-Joshua Clottey fight, trust me, you didn’t miss anything good. Just to give you an idea of the 12 round affair, here is Jim Lampley’s blow-by-blow coverage in the 8th round.

BANG-BANG-BANG

If you’re scoring at home that’s 16 bangs in a ]]>

If you didn’t see the Manny Pacquiao-Joshua Clottey fight, trust me, you didn’t miss anything good. Just to give you an idea of the 12 round affair, here is Jim Lampley’s blow-by-blow coverage in the 8th round.

BANG-BANG-BANG

If you’re scoring at home that’s 16 bangs in a little under 25 seconds.

Now, to Lampley’s credit, the fight was exceedingly boring. What you saw in the video was what Pacquiao did for the entire fight while Clottey stood there and just tried to block. Mounting a counter-offensive didn’t seem in his best interests, although, I’m sure he’s certainly happy with the paycheck.

The commentators including chatty Max Kellerman were at a loss for words for parts of the fight which I think ultimately led to this Lampley meltdown. It’s definitely a moment he’d rather forget, but thanks to the internet may be his calling card for years to come.

NFL: T.O. feels media is trying to provoke him to create controversyNFL: Ben Roethlisberger will host WWE’s Monday Night RawMLB: Omar Vizquel to try bullfighting in offseasonMLB: Ex-All-Star Knoblauch accused of choking wifeNBA: Kirilenko calls ]]>

NFL: T.O. feels media is trying to provoke him to create controversy
NFL: Ben Roethlisberger will host WWE’s Monday Night Raw
MLB: Omar Vizquel to try bullfighting in offseason
MLB: Ex-All-Star Knoblauch accused of choking wife
NBA: Kirilenko calls Shaq-LeBron ‘poison union’
BOXING: Evander Holyfield vs. Vitali Klitschko a ‘possibility’
UFC: Round 5 plans UFC collectible series

on 205th recommends…

CFL: Brawl turns bizarre when lineman wields shovelNFL: Terrell Owens rips Rodney HarrisonNBA: League to unveil official social media policyNBA: Cleveland throws big welcome party for ShaqSOCCER: D-III soccer team ends 111-game winless streak

CFL: Brawl turns bizarre when lineman wields shovel
NFL: Terrell Owens rips Rodney Harrison
NBA: League to unveil official social media policy
NBA: Cleveland throws big welcome party for Shaq
SOCCER: D-III soccer team ends 111-game winless streak
SOCCER: FIFA med chief wants curbs on violent soccer play
BOXING: Roy Jones, Bernard Hopkins to fight in 2010
PGA: Stricker’s run at $10 million ruined by a mud ball

on 205th recommends…

NFL: Plaxico getting rough welcome to jailNFL: League won’t discipline Brady for gunfire at weddingNFL: SoCal city clears NFL stadium hurdleBOXING: ‘Real Deal’ Holyfield tackles global warmingUFC: Dana White rips Strikeforce, Showtime for signing Herschel ]]>

NFL: Plaxico getting rough welcome to jail
NFL: League won’t discipline Brady for gunfire at wedding
NFL: SoCal city clears NFL stadium hurdle
BOXING: ‘Real Deal’ Holyfield tackles global warming
UFC: Dana White rips Strikeforce, Showtime for signing Herschel Walker
UFC: It’s over: Cro Cop calls it quits

on 205th recommends…

UFL: League hires Doug Flutie, Kordell Stewart as TV announcersNFL: Photographers sue Bundchen, Brady over shootingMLB: Top Giants’ prospect charged with murderMLB: Boston Red Sox rookies hazed in dragNBA: D-League owner offers $100K for Jordan-Russell ]]>

UFL: League hires Doug Flutie, Kordell Stewart as TV announcers
NFL: Photographers sue Bundchen, Brady over shooting
MLB: Top Giants’ prospect charged with murder
MLB: Boston Red Sox rookies hazed in drag
NBA: D-League owner offers $100K for Jordan-Russell rematch
UFC: Rampage Jackson retires from MMA
BOXING: Floyd Mayweather Jr. agrees to pay $5.6M in back taxes
PGA: Jim Thorpe pleads guilty to tax evasion

on 205th recommends…

MMA: Herschel Walker signs with StrikeforceMMA: Former boxing champ Ricardo Mayorga ready for MMANFL: Terrell Owens Twitter-rips Tony RomoNFL: Buffalo Bills player’s home robbed on game day, sadly not T.O.’sNFL: Redskins rookie apologizes for ‘dim ]]>

MMA: Herschel Walker signs with Strikeforce
MMA: Former boxing champ Ricardo Mayorga ready for MMA
NFL: Terrell Owens Twitter-rips Tony Romo
NFL: Buffalo Bills player’s home robbed on game day, sadly not T.O.’s
NFL: Redskins rookie apologizes for ‘dim wits’ Tweet
MLB: Lenny Dykstra vandalizing own home?
MLB: Mariners catcher Rob Johnson injured celebrating
NASCAR: NASCAR asks for mental evaluations on Mayfield

on 205th recommends…

Floyd Mayweather knocked down the smaller Juan Manuel Marquez in the second round and went on to dominate the rest of the fight moving his record to a still perfect 40-0. Mayweather ended up winning the fight 120-107, 119-108 and 118-109. Full recap can be read here. ]]>

Floyd Mayweather knocked down the smaller Juan Manuel Marquez in the second round and went on to dominate the rest of the fight moving his record to a still perfect 40-0. Mayweather ended up winning the fight 120-107, 119-108 and 118-109. Full recap can be read here. The final round below…