What does that have to do with the following videos you ask? Well, it is just more proof that getting passed-out drunk at NFL games has little to do with the actual score or standing of your teams.

This first video is of Bills fan taking a tumble down several rows during their 37-10 loss on Sunday.

And here’s a Lions fan, so completely obliterated that his friends stacked two beers and several mini-megaphones on his head…without him waking up.

In yesterday’s overtime game with the Steelers, Johnson streaked past the secondary and dropped one of the easiest touchdowns you’ll ever see. Afterwards, he took out his anger on the Lord himself.

I’m actually quite impressed with a few things here. This wasn’t some angry rant as he pulled out his phone after the game–far from it. Johnson loaded up his iPad, opened up his Twitter application and typed out that whole damn thing. You’d think with that much time, Johnson would at least think twice before sending a tweet out to the world (and heaven I might add). But no, apparently he was so steamed he didn’t have time to reconsider.

Hopefully, God shows some compassion on him when Judgement Day rolls around. My theological background is amateurish at best, but I seem to recall the “angry man” corollary, as in, you have a three-hour window to drop expletives on the “Mighty One” without fearing repercussions. After that though, well, be prepared for a lightning bolt up your ass.

130

Although the NCAA is supposed to announce their findings for the UM athletic program today, sources have leaked that, all in all, it’s good news for the Maize and Blue. The fifth charge of failing to promote an atmosphere of compliance will be dropped and the NCAA will add another year to the two-year probation that Michigan self-imposed. Combine that with the 130 hours of training time missed and it appears the Wolverines caught a big break. Then again, this was probably much ado about nothing to begin with.

26

76ers coach Doug Collins wasn’t feeling like himself on Wednesday night after having symptoms of Vertigo. So after his team took a 26-point halftime lead into the locker room against the Pacers, Collins called it a night and let former Pistons coach Michael Curry take over. Thankfully for the 76ers, even a coach as poor as Curry couldn’t blow that big of a lead.

42

You really have to enjoy the intricacies of NBA scheduling. The Orlando Magic hadn’t played a game since getting trounced by the Heat four days ago and in strolled one of the bigger cupcakes on their schedule, the Minnesota Timberwolves, who had just lost the night before by 32 points. To make matters worse for the T-Wolves, Jonny Flynn and Michael Beasley, sat out because of injuries. The result? A 42-point blowout at home for the Magic.

0-7

When you’re the worst team in the NFL, you’re willing to do anything and in this case, everything to get going. The Buffalo Bills acquired troubled linebacker Shawne Merriman off waivers yesterday. He has five days to report to Buffalo and will more than likely not suit up for Sunday’s game against Chicago. Merriman desperately needs to prove himself because, well, in the off-season he’s a free agent. Given his performance, or lack thereof the last few seasons, he may have trouble finding work.

6-8

The Randy Moss pickup by the Titans is starting to make a little more sense. Rumors from Titan insider indicate that WR Kenny Britt could be out 6-8 weeks with a hamstring injury. This comes 1 week after Britt put up a career high 225 yards and three touchdowns. So now, all the Titans have to do is convince a somewhat uninspired Moss to actually try during games and they’re all set.

92

The Oakland Raiders have lit the NFL on fire the last two weeks scoring 92 points. The man partly responsible for that, Jason Campbell, may get benched though in favor of Bruce Gradkowski. To give you an idea of how good Campbell has been, his passer ratings the last two games were 127.9 and 120.9 respectively. Benching Cambell seems asinine at this point. Then again, asinine and Al Davis go together like…well, you get the picture.

So when a group of teenage boys began to heckle the players on the final day of training camp, the coach lost his temper.

Here’s Gailey explaining his side of the story to a group of reporters.

I’m sorry, come again Chan? There were people who were actually waiting to get autographs from Bills’ players?

Beer, boobies and BBQ.

Needless to say, this Buffalo Bills fan is a little more focused than I was.

Ryan Abshagen may be a Bills fan who’s merely 18 years old, but he’s seen enough of the Buffalo Bills to conclude he doesn’t want Dick Jauron roaming his favorite team’s sideline. Contrasting to the majority of fans contempt to vent to in the living room, supper table, water cooler or local tavern, Abshagen took his disdain for Jauron a step further.

He created the website “FireDickJauron“. While the site helped spread its self explanatory message, apparently it wasn’t enough. He started a campaign soliciting donations to purchase a billboard on the Buffalo I-190 Interstate, specifically to let Ralph Wilson know what the fans think of a coach who’s won exactly 3 of his last 15 games.

This kid was able to raise 1125 dollars by himself. If you feel like a worthless turd and you haven’t done anything with your life today, join the club.

I thought it was an accomplishment to just get out of bed.

H/t: Guyism reader and Bills fan Tim

As a native Detroiter, I know what a bad coach looks like.  He looks disheveled, confused and is even a bit surly to the media at times.

Having seen Dick Jauron up close and personal, I can tell you without a doubt, the man sucks as a coach.

Apparently, Bills fan feel the same way, because firedickjauron.com seems to be more than a bit lively.

But please, someone explain me this.

Its one thing to lose to the lowly Cleveland Browns.  A team that seemingly struggles to score than more 6 points a game…but to lose to this quarterback stat line?

Derek Anderson 2/17   23 yards  1int

No, that’s not a made up stat.  Derek Anderson was god awful.  Maybe the worst qb stat ever compiled in modern NFL history.

And you lost.

If I were a Bills fan, I believe I would have lit up the torch already and bought my pitchfork.

That video’s good because if there’s one team who needs more attention, it’s the New England Patriots. Congratulations to the team and their unknown quarterback Tommy Whatshisname on their special anniversary. Hopefully me posting this video will get them the recognition they deserve for tonight’s Monday Night Football game against the Buffalo Bills.

Anywayyyyyy, my fantasy team is the greatest ever. Drew Brees, Adrian Peterson, Kevin Smith (who was meh, but he’ll be at that same level all year), Greg Jennings, Jerricho Cotchery, Jason Witten, and some other a-holes. This is the year I regain that coveted, worthless crown of Fantasy Football Champion.

If you’d like sage wisdom from The New Fantasy King of Fantasy Football and Fantasy Related Endeavors, please feel free to ask in the comments. Don’t miss out on this once in a lifetime opportunity.

A missing 14-year-old student and his female teacher both have been found safe — he in a Hamburg mall, she found sleeping in her car in Springville.

Nicholas G. DeJesus, a South Buffalo Charter School student from West Seneca, had been missing since he left the school on South Park Avenue without permission Monday afternoon.

Teacher Cara Dickey, 29, of Clarence had been escorted from the school after her suspension Monday morning.

Ellis provided few details about Dickey’s suspension or any possible relationship between the student and teacher.

“What we do know is that the student and the teacher were found separately,” Ellis told reporters in a short briefing outside the school. “We have no idea about them being together.”

Officials said Dickey, who is married, was located between 11:30 a.m. and noon today, about an hour after the boy was found.

I mean, she’s not like super hot…kinda chubby, could stand to do a little cardi…OH WAIT THIS IS BUFFALO. OH MAN, SHE’S LIKE THE HOTTEST THING TO EVER STEP FOOT ANYWHERE NEAR RALPH WILSON STADIUM STADIUM!!! I mean, have you ever MET a girl from Buffalo? They generally look like…uh…well, a buffalo.

It’d be pretty funny though if they both just disappeared independently of each other though and your mind automatically assumes that they were boning something fierce. Try proving you didn’t have sex with a minor when you disappear at the same time. Seriously, try. Because I’m not succeeding at it. Do you know how hard it is to browse the Internet when you know that your laptop could get confiscated again at any time? Sigh.