Via Twitter. You will seriously watch and re-watch this fifty times, at least…

Favorite YouTube comment would have to be: “still less gay than twilight.” Next, also via Twitter, is a bit more obscure. Simply know that it combines Starcraft and crappy pasta sauce…

Say it with me: lol Koreans! BTW, fun-fact: back in the motherland (I’m half Korean; was raised in South Korea) they use ketchup on spaghetti. I kid you not.

So Bethesda just released a patch for their latest and greatest. Version 1.02 was meant to address a number of issues, with the biggest being a nasty freezing bug on the PS3 that results from your save file becoming too big. Well, that’s been fixed, but now there’s even more problems. With the most high profile of them all dealing with the game’s dragons.

Sorry for yet another deluge of Skyrim clips, but…

As the last vid shows, there are various other issues aside from dragons acting all wacky. Here’s another in depth clip that further illustrates all the problems relating to magic…

An entire list of all the problems thus far can be found here. It includes problems relating to placing and removing items, especially book shelves, slow weapons switching, disappearing furniture, wacky lighting, characters stuck running in place, and so on, and so forth. Yikes. So yeah, basically, hold off on that update if you can.

Bonus video time: remember LA Noire being unnecessarily censored? Well, this is the last Skyrim clip I’ll be posting, swear to God…

First off, the following may seem a tad bit unnecessary, since I assumed the meaning behind the term “dragonborn” is fairly obvious, but sometimes it’s nice to have thing spelled out. That and it’s a video from The Game Station, featuring that girl I have the hots for…

I actually figured it was a dragon who was the one to take advantage of a girl, not the other way around. Clarification is good sometimes! Moving on, yet another ode to Skyrm via verse, much like yesterday’s, but this one has less rap, and more nerds…

And finally, via Game Informer, the first of no doubt many that we’ll be seeing over the next couple of weeks. Here we have a rather awesome glitch, of a horse riding a dragon…

That is obscenely disgusting but I did enjoy the classy glass he drank from afterwards. When you’re eating a scorpion for the amusement of the savages on YouTube, the one thing you want to make sure to do is clean out the scorpion’s guts with a liquid served in a classy wine glass. It’s called having dignity, you guys.

Some are actually quite neat, at least on a visual level…

I also find this one kinda funny…

Though most are somewhat terrifying…

While others are absolutely terrifying…

Since we crank out so many stories each week some really good ones get lost in the cracks. And since so many new people visit Guyism every day (thank you), we thought we’d take some time on the weekends to share a few classics that many of our newer readers may have missed.

Each summer, we take to the great outdoors for cookouts, ball games, camping trips and a slew of other fun activities. No other season has more opportunities for enjoying the weather with friends. Social events abound and movie blockbusters rake in the cash. I think it’s even a law that Adam Sandler and Will Smith are required to put out a movie each summer. As great as summer is, it can’t all be bikinis and Long Island Iced Teas. There are a few negative things about the season that no matter how hard we to try to avoid, will return each year.

7 Bugs
All of God’s creatures are beautiful in their own right and have a purpose on this earth, but mosquitoes are what discharge when Satan rubs one out. It’s true, look it up. If you plan on enjoying the great outdoors this summer, then plan on going to war with bugs. Whether it’s gnats, mosquitoes, ticks or the infamous chigger, bugs are out to get you and will stop at nothing for a chance at dinning on your tasty flesh. Yea, you can bath in bug spray or purchase one of those candles, but most of those smell rather funky and probably won’t do you any favors while trying to pick up that cute girl at the bbq. But then again, constantly scratching at the red welts all over your body like a mad man might send her reaching for a different kind of spray all together.

6 Heat
As the temperature starts to rise in June and continues its upward climb through August and holding steady until September, cooler weather clothing gives way to mini-skirts and tank tops. Not a bad thing. But the sweltering heat also brings about funky smells. From that pile of garbage on the street to the sweaty dude on the bus that you’re certain has never been introduced to the wonders of deodorant, summer can be cruel to your nose. We’re forced to relieve ourselves from the sun’s cruel torment with fans and air conditioning which result in higher electric bills for a few months. My uncle Jimmy once saw a man get into his car on a blistering August day and instantly burst into flames. “Only thing left of the poor bastard was a fanny pack, I tell ya.”

5 Sunburn
Unless you live in a climate where sunbathing is a year round activity or make frequent trips to those cancer chambers called tanning beds, summer is pretty much your only chance to get a nice tan on that pale physique of yours. And with sunbathing often comes the sunburn. It’s painful, unsightly and results in your skin peeling off like some kind of reptilian humanoid creature from a distant planet. Not to mention dangerous and can result in sun poisoning or skin cancer later in life. So, unless you want to leave the beach looking redder than a baboon’s ass, put on the sunscreen.

4 Rising Gas Prices
Whether you just want to take the boat out on the lake or pack up the Jeep and hit the road with your friends for a cross-country trip, doing so in the summer months is going to put a dent in your wallet. Gas prices may not be as high as they were four or five years ago, but they always go up in the summer. And unless you are some kind of super genius and invented your own car that runs on dreams and body sweat or want to be the lame guy who opts for staying home, be prepared to pay to play.

3 Crappy Television
Aww damn, Lost is over and 30 Rock doesn’t come back on until the fall. Not to worry loyal television viewer, the networks have got you covered with high quality reality TV programming like, Surviving Sex Offender Island and Real Housewives of Appalachia-Incest Edition. As the days get longer and the temperatures rise most people go outside to spend time with friends and family. In turn, the networks stick on reruns and horrible reality shows that make you question the existence of a higher power. Granted, it’s not as bad as it used to be, the cable stations seem to fill this void and keep some of their hits for the summer season. But generally, the months between May and September aren’t ripe with great television.

2 Women wear less clothing and their libidos rise
Ha! Just making sure you were paying attention, don’t freak and throw your computer out the window.

1 Crowds
“Hey let’s get some friends together and go to Six Flags this weekend, won’t that be fun?” Yea, it does sound like a blast, but guess who else thought of it—everybody. Even people in Tibet, and they don’t even have a Six Flags! And the same can be said for water parks, beaches, concerts or just about any other fun outdoor activity. Kids are out of school for the summer and parents have to take them somewhere if they don’t want to go crazy and go on a murderous rampage. And with crowds come long tiresome lines and short tempers. Here’s a tip, plan on going to the water park on a Tuesday when there is an overcast or chance of rain. Yes, you might not get a tan, but you’ll also have much shorter lines than going on a sunny weekend.

PETA is sending President Barack Obama a Katcha Bug Humane Bug Catcher, a device that allows users to trap a house fly and then release it outside.

“We support compassion even for the most curious, smallest and least sympathetic animals,” PETA spokesman Bruce Friedrich said Wednesday. “We believe that people, where they can be compassionate, should be, for all animals.”

During an interview for CNBC at the White House on Tuesday, a fly intruded on Obama’s conversation with correspondent John Harwood.

“Get out of here,” the president told the pesky insect. When it didn’t, he waited for the fly to settle, put his hand up and then smacked it dead.

“Now, where were we?” Obama asked Harwood. Then he added: “That was pretty impressive, wasn’t it? I got the sucker.”

Friedrich said that PETA was pleased with Obama’s voting record in the Senate on behalf of animal rights and noted that he has been outspoken against animal abuses.

Still, “swatting a fly on TV indicates he’s not perfect,” Friedrich said, “and we’re happy to say that we wish he hadn’t.”

PETA would pretty much issue a press release if you hugged a puppy too tightly, so you can’t really take them too seriously. But still, this is a bit of a stretch. Flies exist in the billions in any given area. I’m sure this fly’s wife was kind of sad, but I’m pretty sure they’re not even legally married. Plus there’s a guy at the fly wife’s job who’s been really good to her and I’m pretty sure they’ll hook up once she gets over the initial heartbreak of losing her lover. He’ll take care of all the larvae for sure. Oh, also…they’re f’ing flies so none of this matters.

[via]

Spiders are dicks. Who needs them? They don’t give us superpowers, they have 4 times as many legs as us. How much longer will Charlotte’s Web give them clout? The next time I see a spider, I’m going to kick it in the shins over and over again until it can’t walk, then waterboard it under the water spout. That’ll learn ‘em, until they get really big and attack America. But we’ll deal with that one when we get there.

Kashana Kollie loves Nestle Goobers, so when she spotted a three for $3 sale at Walgreens, she took advantage.

There was nothing unusual about the first box of Goobers her family dug into during their movie night over the weekend, but she was in for a surprise when she opened up the second box.

“What I saw was something flew out of the box, something with wings flew out of the box… I have no idea what kind of bug it was,” she said.

At a closer look, what used to be chocolate covered peanuts had degraded into a dirt-like material, and then she saw something move… maggots.

“I think it’s disgusting, just real disgusting,” she said. She showed us the box, which she had sealed up in two plastic bags in case an inspector dropped by her home.

It was on her back porch and she wore latex gloves as she opened the bag with her proof.

“I don’t want this in my house, I don’t want to touch it with my bare hands,” she explained.

[via]

I don’t know that I could have sex with a cockroach. They’re really small and I imagine it’d be very difficult for me to insert my penis inside of one. In fact, it’d probably end up just squishing it or something with the weightiness of my genitals. That doesn’t seem too sexually satisfying for either party. So I guess my point is I should have never put up that profile on RoachDate.com.