If you’re interested in learning more about Lindsey, check out her blog.

If you’re going to date one 26-year-old girl with cancer and a positive outlook on life, make it Lindsey. – Guyism.com

Someone throw some tiny leaves around that and we’ll have a perfect strategy for guilting Joseph Gordon-Levitt into getting it in.

Girl with cancer asks 50/50 star Joseph Gordon-Levitt on date [Reddit]

Personally, I would not want to get into a boxing match with HPV. Who knows what kind of dirty tricks he has planned? Dude spends his life camped out in vaginas, hidden, waiting to strike. He’s like the Predator. No chance I’m taking that match.

From the minute Colby saw the previews to the Disney-Pixar movie Up, she was desperate to see it. Colby had been diagnosed with vascular cancer about three years ago, said her mother, Lisa Curtin, and at the beginning of this month it became apparent that she would die soon and was too ill to be moved to a theater to see the film.

After a family friend made frantic calls to Pixar to help grant Colby her dying wish, Pixar came to the rescue.

The company flew an employee with a DVD of Up, which is only in theaters, to the Curtins’ Huntington Beach home on June 10 for a private viewing of the movie.

Pixar officials declined to comment on the story or name the employees involved.

There are very few things these days that can restore your faith in humanity, and large companies, quite like this. And the fact that Pixar didn’t talk to the press about it and toot their own horn only helps to cement how good their intentions were. Sorry to the family who lost their daughter and kudos to Pixar for doing the right thing.

I think we all learned a lot about Pixar today. They are an extremely generous and unique company. We also learned that their films also can’t cure cancer. Two important lessons learned.

[via]

I’ll just let that one sit by itself because there’s no way you’ll even read this text with such stunning visuals presented above. The surrealist influences are very present. Someone call The Louvre.

That was much more adorable than the typical content usually on here. I think maybe I’m softening up as I get older. That’s probably what happens when you get cancer. Oh no, gosh, I didn’t get cancer…I just found a cancer kid and locked him up in my basement for a little. They say laughter is the best medicine. But an even better medicine is yelling at a tied up child with a terminal illness and making him clean your basement. For me, not him. That snuff film isn’t going to clean up itself, you know.

It seems to me that it’d be unfair to be a woman with huge perky breasts, like the character above, and work in the brassiere section of a store. Then every time a woman with small boobs comes in and tries to buy a bra to help her pad her chest, you get something sold by this girl and you know that she can’t relate to your plight. It’s like going to a cancer doctor when you have cancer…he doesn’t have cancer but he’s trying to tell me this gargoyle growing on my prostate is dangerous? Psh, how would he know?

A new TV commercial shows kids eating hot dogs in a school cafeteria and one little boy’s haunting lament: “I was dumbfounded when the doctor told me I have late-stage colon cancer.”

It’s a startling revelation in an ad that vilifies one of America’s most beloved, if maligned, foods, while stoking fears about a dreaded disease.

But the boy doesn’t have cancer. Neither do two other kids in the ad who claim to be afflicted.

“My concern about this campaign is it’s giving the indication that the occasional hot dog in the school lunch is going to increase cancer risk,” said Colleen Doyle, the American Cancer Society’s nutrition director. “An occasional hot dog isn’t going to increase that risk.”

The hot dog council called the new ad an alarmist scare tactic…

Whoa hold on…there’s a Hot Dog Council! That’s amazing! Here I was, thinking hot dogs had no one to protect them for their portrayal as a villain in misleading media like the ad above or the video game Burgertime (I want to punch all the hot dogs in the face for how they’d attempt to sabotage my burgers), but thank God for the Hot Dog Council, who provides amazing hot dog stats like this:

During Hot Dog Season, Memorial Day to Labor Day, Americans typically consume 7 billion hot dogs or 818 hot dogs consumed every second during that period.

In 2007, consumers spent more than $4.1 billion on hot dogs and sausages in U.S. supermarkets, that equals more than 1.5 billion pounds of hot dogs and sausages bought at retail stores alone.

See? Hot dogs are keeping us from total economic ruin! The Cancer Project wants to take your hot dogs away. They want to stop us from having roads across the country made entirely of hot dogs…talk about progress! Are the folks at The Cancer Project anti-American communists? Probably. Are hot dogs delicious? Absolutely!

Side note: While doing research on hot dogs, I saw this AWESOME dramatic recreation of Burgertime. Burgertime is a f’d up place dude. [Source]

I don’t often speak about Cancer these days. Many of my die hard readers know that Guyism actually started as a cancer blog and has obviously moved on to much more than that. At times, I feel like I have betrayed the readers but what can I say, I wasn’t going to have cancer forever right?

At least, I hope not.

And in all honesty, I’m not that interesting of a person anyways. I’d much rather write about stupid people in the world of sports and entertainment than talk about how hot my Physicians Assistant was at the oncology office.

Either way, a thank you to all the readers who have stuck around since the very beginning. Guyism will be doing some giveaways of DVDs in the month of August and we hope to repay you for your loyal support.

Please read the first link posted today. It’s for a very good Cancer charity in Chicago.

Cancer Charity Event {Docksquad Sports}
Timberlake’s racist joke cut from ESPYs {SbB}
Westbrook wants LT Money {Inside the Iggles}
Dudes you’d love to hang out with {Uncoached}
Beware Ladies of New Orleans, Shockey’s in town {Busted Coverage}

I have no idea who Adam Reisinger is. He very well might be an accomplished writer(although I highly doubt it).

But his “Worst Lottery Picks” article is not well researched and frankly, its makes him look like…well, it makes him look like a dumbass for lack of a better term.

He prefaces the article by saying:

Here are the worst picks for the top 14 slots in the draft since 1985 (though we’ll try to avoid players who suffered unexpected injuries such as Jay Williams or Dajuan Wagner):

Understandable that he throws that stipulation in. Hard to call someone a bust if he is injured all the time.

However, he then goes on to mention former MSU Spartan Shawn Respert

Dishonorable mentions: Shawn Respert (Trail Blazers, traded to Bucks, 1995)

The problem?

Shawn Respert was diagnosed with stomach cancer in his rookie season and seemingly never recovered because of it.

Now, why does Reisinger give guys like Wagner and Williams a pass but not a guy who had a life threatening disease?

My guess is that Reisinger didn’t do this on purpose, my guess is that he didn’t do his homework.

He didn’t do the research necessary to write the article.

And that folks is the type of writing we’ve all come to expect from ESPN.

Well done! I got another 4 letter word I’d like to share with you guys……..

H/T: {Spartantailgate}

A study by an award-winning cancer expert shows that cell phone use could kill more people than smoking, it is reported.

According to the U.K.’s Independent newspaper, the study, headed by Dr. Vini Khurana, shows that there is a growing body of evidence that using handsets for 10 years or more can double the risk of brain cancer.

Khurana — one of the world’s top neurosurgeons — based his assessment on the fact that three billion people now use the phones worldwide. That is three times higher than people who smoke. Smoking kills some five million globally each year.

He warned that people should avoid using handsets whenever possible and called on the phone industry to make them safer. France and Germany have already warned against the use of mobile phones, especially by children, it is reported.

Well, it’s not like it’s brain surgery! Ohh…aw.

Whatever though, so cell phones are turning my brain into a fine stew. How else can I look important when walking down the street? Or avoid looking at someone I kind of casually know by holding the phone to my ear and saying things people say on the phone like “BUY! SELL! BEARS ARE ON THE MARKET BUT BULLS ARE FOR THE BEDROOM!”

People have been getting sicknesses from forms of communication for years…it’s just kind of an accepted risk. CB Radio gives you scrotal cancer. Two cans with a bit of string? AIDS. It’s scientific fact.

A 21-year-old Harris County woman filed a $200,000 lawsuit against American Airlines alleging employees on a flight to Los Angeles from Dallas/Fort Worth Airport failed to protect her while she slept from another passenger who masturbated to her and ejaculated in her hair, according to a lawsuit she filed last week in Tarrant County.

The woman slept most of the flight, but awoke about 20 minutes before landing when the pilot announced the plane was on decent into Los Angeles. When the woman opened her eyes, she saw that an unknown man had moved into the seat next to her and was staring at her as he masturbated, the suit states. The woman turned toward the window in embarrassment and in an act of nervousness began to run her fingers through her hair where she noticed “a substantial amount of an extremely sticky substance in her hair,” the suit states. The woman began to cry and tried to get the attention of a flight attendant, but was unsuccessful, the suit states.

Finally a passenger in the row in front of the woman comforted her and verified the semen in her hair, the suit states. When the plane landed, employee called airport police and the man was arrested. The suit alleges that the during the investigation, American Airlines employees told police they witnessed the man move from his assigned seat into the row where the woman was sleeping. The woman is seeking punitive damages and a jury trial.

I like women. But honestly, I could never BE a woman. Getting yelled at on the street by random dudes, groped in bars, getting roofies in my drink more than I already do now (which is like 6 times a night, easy). But you throw plane jizz on there and it’s like, “What the f? My ovaries are a curse! I thought my little brain was my main negative! Oh gosh, let me go make some more cakes.”

On the plus side, my semen cures cancer, so when you get it in your hair, the correct response is “Thank you sir. Might I trouble you for some more?” I carry cups around with me and just splash it on every 300th woman I see. My way of giving back.